Mr. White and his wife went for a gathering. At
commencement of the program, the MC said the people were
going to be grouped into two. He said "those whose
wives are the head of the family move to the
left-hand side of the auditorium, while those whose
husbands are the head of the family should move to the
right". Mr. White asked his wife "Honey, which
group should we move to?"
Before I got married, I had six
theories about bringing up children. Now I have six
children and no theories.
John and Tony were in the bar,
pondering over Tonys problems. "Andrea and I
want to get married," said Tony, "but we
cant find anywhere to live."
"Why dont you live with
Andreas parents?" suggested John.
"We cant do that," said
Tony, "theyre living with their parents!"
A seminar on time travel will be held
two weeks ago
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
TALES OF THE THEATRE.
The power of the theatre is not
generally understood, but that it exerts on its patrons
an influence cannot be denied. Books may teach pernicious
doctrines, lectures may gloss evils with a polish that
may make them appear desirable to the young, but
ninety-nine per cent of the dramas show in vivid colors
that vice is always punished and virtue rewarded. This is
a fact overlooked by those who decry the theatres, though
it is one that requires no proof. Take for instance the
great detective play, "Caught in the Web"
presented at the Grand Opera House. It is a model for
boys and young men, teaching them how by self-reliance,
courage and manliness they can bring out a class of
wrong, and it will assist the youth to be honest and
upright. The vice and wickedness does not pay, as is
shown clearly in this play, and that alone is sufficient
recommendation for its power of good.
Unusually clean yet bitingly
clever, Marian Kelly has delighted every kind of
audience, including comedy clubs, conventions,
corporate events, churches, colleges and civic
Marian will perform her
hilarious comedy show to help Stones Throw
Dinner Theatre raise funds to continue their
recent upgrades and renovations of the theatre.
Those attending will enjoy the new paint,
carpets, lighting and sound system in the dining
Marian has appeared on numerous
television programs, including The Tonight Show
with Jay Leno, A&Es Night at the
Improv., and Star Search. She has performed in 40
states, including Alaska and Hawaii, and has
shared the stage with Ed McMahon, Tim Allen, Jeff
Foxworthy, Kevin Pollack, and Henry Winkler.
This special fundraiser
performance will be held at Stones Throw
Dinner Theatre, 796 South Stone Lane, Carthage,
MO on Saturday, April 16, 2011.
Admission is $20.00 for General
Seating. Doors will open at 6:30 pm.
A pre-show magic performance by
Luke Mouton will begin at 7:30pm.
Im still amazed that
you can buy bread with no crust at the
known kids that wouldnt eat bread with
the crust on it. But even more amazin
is the fact that Ive seen mothers cut
the crust off the bread so the kid
wouldnt have too. Then there was the
fit my brother threw (once) cause Mom
wouldnt make him a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich with the peanut butter on top.
What I want is a loaf of
nothin but the heals. If they took all
the heals outa those loafs without any crust,
it looks like there would be plenty of heals
ta go around.
They could probly
take the heals outa all loafs a bread and not
cause much of a stir. Cept for those
who like heals, and they could buy the heal
loafs. Course when mixin heals
and non-heals, the heal always goes on top.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Picking the Right
Q: I need some repairs to pipes
under my house that have small leaks, plus some
other minor fixes around the house such as
dripping taps. But Im nervous about getting
charged too much. How can I find a reputable
plumber? -- May H., Knoxville, Tenn.
A: There are a number of things
you can and should do when hiring a plumber for
the first time. Following these steps will
increase your chances of finding a plumber who
will do the job right and at competitive rates.
--Ask a friend or relative: If
theyve hired a plumber who did a good job,
theyll be glad to recommend him or her to
--Contact two or more plumbers:
Compare the rate each will charge for the work,
learn exactly what repairs they will make, and
how long theyll take to complete the job.
(For small jobs, some plumbers will give rates
over the phone, but make sure they then put their
estimates in writing before agreeing to the
--Always ask for the
plumbers license: Reputable trade
professionals are licensed by the state, and you
can check the license number with the
states professional licensing division, by
phone or on the Internet.
--Dont be afraid to ask
questions: Find out how long the plumber has been
in business, how big or small the company is, get
details about the job and who exactly will
perform the work, and so on. Its your house
and your money, and you have the right to ask and
the right to refuse to hire someone for the job
if you arent comfortable.
--Dont make the decision
alone: If youre having trouble deciding
which plumber to use, have a trusted friend or
relative by your side when each plumber arrives
and when comparing estimates.
Finally, check the local Better
Business Bureau to see if any complaints were
registered against any of the plumbers you are
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