The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, March 28, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 192

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...Magic Moments Riding Therapy is currently in need of assistance for Saturday morning classes. Volunteers should be at least 14, have some horse experience. 325-4490

today's laugh

Mr. White and his wife went for a gathering. At commencement of the program, the MC said the people were going to be grouped into two. He said "those whose wives’ are the head of the family move to the left-hand side of the auditorium, while those whose husbands are the head of the family should move to the right". Mr. White asked his wife "Honey, which group should we move to?"


Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories.


John and Tony were in the bar, pondering over Tony’s problems. "Andrea and I want to get married," said Tony, "but we can’t find anywhere to live."

"Why don’t you live with Andrea’s parents?" suggested John.

"We can’t do that," said Tony, "they’re living with their parents!"


A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


The power of the theatre is not generally understood, but that it exerts on its patrons an influence cannot be denied. Books may teach pernicious doctrines, lectures may gloss evils with a polish that may make them appear desirable to the young, but ninety-nine per cent of the dramas show in vivid colors that vice is always punished and virtue rewarded. This is a fact overlooked by those who decry the theatres, though it is one that requires no proof. Take for instance the great detective play, "Caught in the Web" presented at the Grand Opera House. It is a model for boys and young men, teaching them how by self-reliance, courage and manliness they can bring out a class of wrong, and it will assist the youth to be honest and upright. The vice and wickedness does not pay, as is shown clearly in this play, and that alone is sufficient recommendation for it’s power of good.

  Today's Feature

Stone’s Throw FUNDRAISER.

Unusually clean yet bitingly clever, Marian Kelly has delighted every kind of audience, including comedy clubs, conventions, corporate events, churches, colleges and civic organizations.

Marian will perform her hilarious comedy show to help Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre raise funds to continue their recent upgrades and renovations of the theatre. Those attending will enjoy the new paint, carpets, lighting and sound system in the dining room.

Marian has appeared on numerous television programs, including The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, A&E’s Night at the Improv., and Star Search. She has performed in 40 states, including Alaska and Hawaii, and has shared the stage with Ed McMahon, Tim Allen, Jeff Foxworthy, Kevin Pollack, and Henry Winkler.

This special fundraiser performance will be held at Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, 796 South Stone Lane, Carthage, MO on Saturday, April 16, 2011.

Admission is $20.00 for General Seating. Doors will open at 6:30 pm.

A pre-show magic performance by Luke Mouton will begin at 7:30pm.

Just Jake Talkin'

I’m still amazed that you can buy bread with no crust at the grocery.

‘Course I’ve known kids that wouldn’t eat bread with the crust on it. But even more amazin’ is the fact that I’ve seen mothers cut the crust off the bread so the kid wouldn’t have too. Then there was the fit my brother threw (once) ‘cause Mom wouldn’t make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the peanut butter on top.

What I want is a loaf of nothin’ but the heals. If they took all the heals outa those loafs without any crust, it looks like there would be plenty of heals ta go around.

They could prob’ly take the heals outa all loafs a bread and not cause much of a stir. ‘Cept for those who like heals, and they could buy the heal loafs. ‘Course when mixin’ heals and non-heals, the heal always goes on top.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By Samantha Mazzotta

Picking the Right Plumber

Q: I need some repairs to pipes under my house that have small leaks, plus some other minor fixes around the house such as dripping taps. But I’m nervous about getting charged too much. How can I find a reputable plumber? -- May H., Knoxville, Tenn.

A: There are a number of things you can and should do when hiring a plumber for the first time. Following these steps will increase your chances of finding a plumber who will do the job right and at competitive rates.

--Ask a friend or relative: If they’ve hired a plumber who did a good job, they’ll be glad to recommend him or her to you.

--Contact two or more plumbers: Compare the rate each will charge for the work, learn exactly what repairs they will make, and how long they’ll take to complete the job. (For small jobs, some plumbers will give rates over the phone, but make sure they then put their estimates in writing before agreeing to the work.)

--Always ask for the plumber’s license: Reputable trade professionals are licensed by the state, and you can check the license number with the state’s professional licensing division, by phone or on the Internet.

--Don’t be afraid to ask questions: Find out how long the plumber has been in business, how big or small the company is, get details about the job and who exactly will perform the work, and so on. It’s your house and your money, and you have the right to ask and the right to refuse to hire someone for the job if you aren’t comfortable.

--Don’t make the decision alone: If you’re having trouble deciding which plumber to use, have a trusted friend or relative by your side when each plumber arrives and when comparing estimates.

Finally, check the local Better Business Bureau to see if any complaints were registered against any of the plumbers you are considering.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.