The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, March 31, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 195

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...Magic Moments Riding Therapy is currently in need of assistance for Saturday morning classes. Volunteers should be at least 14, have some horse experience. 325-4490

today's laugh

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.

"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.

"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."


Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses.

You certainly do, sir, this is a fish and chip shop!


A woman goes to her doctor. She has a breadstick up her nose, a potato in her right ear and string bean in her left ear.

She says, "Doctor, can you help me? I don’t feel well, and I cannot figure out what’s wrong."

"Well, you are not eating properly!"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Mr. J. L. Nall the recently appointed superintendent of the county poor farm assumed his new duties today and has moved his family to that place. Judge W. R. Schooler of the county court took the usual invoice on Saturday preparatory to the departure of Supt. Rosengrant and the advent of Mr. Nall.

Dr. Flower, the county physician, says that there are now 58 inmates at the farm and that they are very much crowded. There are comfortable quarters for not more than 50 inmates.

A woman from Carthage who is unable to take care of herself and is destitute has made application for admission, but there is no room for her. She has already been in the past supported by a sister who took in washing. Now the sister is down with rheumatism, so she is unable to work, and they are both dependant upon neighbors for food and clothes.

  Today's Feature


The Children’s Trust Fund (CTF), Missouri’s Foundation for Child Abuse Prevention, was the first State Income Tax Check-off in 1984. CTF receives no general revenue, the money received through the check-off program remains an important source of donations.

CTF uses the Tax check-off funding to support community-based organizations throughout the state that in turn support children and strengthen their families by incorporating five protective factors:

1. Nurturing and Attachment: A child’s early experience of being nurtured and developing a bond with his parents or other caring adult affects all aspects of behavior and development.

2. Knowledge of Parenting and of Child and Youth Development: Discipline is both more effective and more nurturing when parents know how to set and enforce limits and encourage appropriate behaviors based on the child’s age and level of development.

3. Parental Resilience: Parents who are emotionally resilient have a positive attitude, creatively solve problems, and effectively address challenges and deal with stress are less likely to direct anger, blame and frustration at their children.

4. Social Connections: Many parents often find themselves isolated. Trusted and caring family and friends provide emotional support to parents by offering encouragement and assistance in facing the daily challenges of raising a family.

5. Concrete Supports for Parents: Parents need basic resources such as food, clothing, housing, transportation and access to essential services to ensure the health and well being of their children.

Many of the community-based prevention programs that CTF supports include: safe crib/safe sleep, crisis nurseries, home visitation, parent education, grandparent support, mentoring for teens, infant nurturing, as well as public awareness campaigns that address the dangers of shaking a baby, never leaving children unattended in vehicles, emotional abuse prevention, and parenting with patience.

Those wishing to help prevent child abuse and neglect can use the check-off box on State tax return or making a tax deductible gift to CTF. Taxpayers not eligible to receive a refund may also make a donation when filing. Contact an accountant for additional information or visit for more information.


By Monte Dutton

Where Did All the Fans Go?

BRISTOL, Tenn. -- When I first began writing about NASCAR, the track in North Wilkesboro had 60,000 seats. Then Bruton Smith and Bob Bahre carved it up as if they were diplomats playing Monopoly with conquered land, and the capacity was revealed to be 37,000. Same when International Speedway Corporation got its hands on Martinsville and alleged attendance dropped by a third even though the grandstands remained the same.

Old newsreels of Darlington in the 1960s claim 80,000 fans. Now the track has three times as many seats and draws 20,000 fewer fans. I know people have gotten larger, myself notably included, but not that much.

Forgive me if I don’t take what NASCAR types tell me at face value.

Bristol once allowed as how it had a six-year waiting list for tickets. Fontana blamed the Academy Awards for falling attendance. NASCAR itself claims it’s going to put carburetor restrictor plates on engines that don’t have carburetors next year.

Nineteen years in Wonderland, a few with Alice sitting next to me in the press box, have left me just a tad cynical where the Greater NASCAR Chamber of Commerce is concerned. Before I feel inclined to dwell not on "the people who weren’t there" at Bristol Motor Speedway but the "120,000 who were," I’d have to believe in the existence of 120,000, which I don’t. I could argue successfully to a jury the wisdom of not believing a word I hear, but I’m not inclined to do so in part because journalism is more difficult when it dwells on what isn’t instead of what is. To do so would be to adapt NASCAR’s business practices to my own.

A lot of the people who weren’t in the grandstands also weren’t in the campgrounds surrounding the track. Some of that is surely attributable to the economy, the price of gas and everything it affects (which is ... everything), the uncertainty of the world political situation, flooding in New Zealand and catastrophe in Japan.

But I doubt 50,000 race fans spent Sunday collecting foodstuffs for disaster relief.

The more I think about it, the more I believe that one factor is the aging fan base. The more I think about it, the more I believe that the people missing from the grandstands were the people missing from the campgrounds.

The crowd isn’t as rowdy because it isn’t as young. A man gets up in his 50s and he isn’t inclined to rough it as much. Where five years ago, he (and, yes, she) stumbled around for three days and three nights, eschewing shirts and showers in favor of booze and carousing, nowadays the mantra is "let’s not and say we did." That couch feels a lot better on race days than the cold, hard ground and navigating the bonfires from inside a fishbowl.

Six or seven years ago, NASCAR claimed most of its fans were God-fearing, gun-toting, Rhodes scholars with family values, a successful practice and a six-figure income. There were 75 million of them watching on TV, even though only a couple dozen such people actually existed.

Just Jake Talkin'

Some church bulletin announcements (supposedly authentic):

"The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals."

"Don’t Let worry kill you off - let the Church help."

"For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs."

"Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."

"Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 P.M. Please use the back door. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Columns



Dear Tom and Ray:

I have a ‘97 Honda CR-V that has a persistent problem: The front wheels keep falling off. First the left front wheel fell off while turning left at an intersection. Then the right one fell off while traveling 50 mph on a state highway. Luckily, there was a cop behind me when it happened, and he flipped on his lights while I struggled to the shoulder. Finally, a few days ago, the left front wheel fell off again, while I was turning left to go out of my neighbor’s driveway. My question is, Are Honda CR-Vs known for this sort of behavior? My various mechanics have claimed there’s a design flaw that leaves the weight of the car resting on the lower ball joint at the wheels. Is this in fact the case, and have other CR-Vs dropped a wheel or two? -- Jerome

RAY: Not that we know of, Jerome. Generally, there are two things that cause wheels to fall off: One, they’re not put on correctly (the lug nuts are either not tightened, or they’re overtightened, causing the wheel bolts to break), or two, the ball joints fail.

TOM: We’re not aware of any defects or chronic problems with CR-V ball joints. In fact, we almost never replace them, and we’ve been seeing CR-Vs in the shop for well over a decade.

RAY: You don’t say how many miles are on the car. And the fact is, any car’s ball joints will wear out eventually. So if you’ve got 120,000 or 180,000 miles on this heap, then yes, it makes sense that a ball joint could break. But that’s unlikely to happen twice on one wheel.

TOM: So I’m leaning more toward human error. Rather than ball joints, I’d look instead at the possibility that someone is overtightening your wheel nuts.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.