The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, March 7, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 176

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...The Carthage Humane Society is asking for donations of canned & dry dog food and old newspapers due to an unusual amount of puppies coming into the shelter. Call 358-6402

Did Ya Know?...Spare Cat Rescue will host "Tom Cat Tuesdays each Tuesday in March. Low-cost neuter clinic. Call 358-1300 for appointment.

today's laugh

One day, Murphy and O’Brien went deer hunting in the woods. They sit in the woods for hours, when suddenly this humongous buck comes into view. With a nice clean shot, O’Brien bangs the buck. They drag it back to camp by the butt, but the antlers keep getting stuck. Another hunter says, "You guys should drag it by the antlers. It won’t get stuck." They do, and Murphy yells, "Hey, he was right. He is not getting stuck." O’Brien replies, "Yeah, but we’re getting farther away from camp."


A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."

The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I’ve got a better idea ... let’s pretend we’re married."

"Why not," giggles the woman.

"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."


Wife: "There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don’t even know what a carburetor is. Where’s the car?"

Wife: "In the swimming pool."


Wear short sleeves; support your right to bare arms!


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Commercial Club Meeting.

The Commercial Club held an interesting meeting at the Elks club house last night. Reports from the various committees were received and discussed. The Carthage library matter was talked over in its various phases, and the importance of securing representative citizens on the board of directors was emphasized. The matter of the site was also touched on, and it was argued that the club should exert its influence in such manner as the majority should decide when the proper time comes. The library committee was instructed to confer with Mayor Chaffee with reference to the appointment of the first board of directors and offer such suggestions as may seem proper and in place. Some favored the idea of having women on the board, but President Barker said a Joplin architect had advised against women on the board, and others opposed the idea. Several others were strongly in favor of it, and said the board should have six men and three women.

  Today's Feature

Accepting Entries for Maple Leaf 2011 Theme Contest.

Entries for the 45th annual Maple Leaf Festival theme contest are being accepted by the Carthage Chamber of Commerce.

Submissions for this year’s contest will be accepted through Friday, March 18th at the Chamber Office. Submissions must be in writing and can be brought to the Chamber office, 402 S Garrison, or e-mailed to

Those wishing to submit a theme entry should provide their theme suggestion, their name, address and daytime telephone number. Entries received after 5:00 p.m. March 18th will not be considered.

The winning entry becomes the sole property of the Carthage Chamber of Commerce and the Maple Leaf Festival and will be used on all promotional materials.

For more information, contact Neely at the Carthage Chamber of Commerce, 417-358-2373 or



The Carthage City Council meets tomorrow evening at 7:30 in City Hall.

Just Jake Talkin'

Workin’ for farmers was the main source of summer employment for students in the rural town I grew up in.

Spendin’ the summer on a harvest crew was thought to be one of the more glamorous jobs, although by the end of the season, those who stayed at home and worked typically ended up with more money in their pocket. The crew I was in one summer discovered if you pumped a grease gun real hard, a gob a grease would fly through the air for some fifty yards or so. The novelty of this discovery wore thin on the owner of the combines when he saw the splatters of grease all over his machines.

With a little practice, a grease gun can be amazingly accurate. On the threat of bein’ abandoned in South Dakota, we only had that one day of target shootin’ however.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By Samantha Mazzotta

By Hook or

by Crook

Q: I’d like to put some hooks underneath my kitchen cabinets so I can hang mugs, utensils, etc. The trouble is, as my boyfriend pointed out, the bottoms of the cabinets look like thin particleboard and the hooks mightl pull right out. I don’t have much space. Is there a solution for this? -- Jennifer K., Detroit

A: With some cabinets, that is a possibility. In order to place those hooks securely, it’s better to screw them into solid wood rather than particleboard. So, how can you accomplish this? By adding a solid-wood strip.

Where you place the strip depends on which side of the cabinet bottom has the best reinforcing material -- namely, the cabinet framework, which is typically solid wood. The strip will need to be secured to the framework rather than simply nailed or glued to the thin particleboard bottom of the cabinet, as there’s a good chance it can’t support the added weight of the strip, either.

Measure the distance from one brace to the next, for each under-cabinet section you want to attach hooks to. Select a piece of solid wood that is about 2 inches wide and a half-inch to an inch thick, and have it cut to fit your measurements. If you want to paint or stain the wood to match the cabinet finish, do so before installing.

Double-check the fit of each strip; it should fit snugly between each brace. Use a wood rasp or sandpaper to take a little off the ends if the strip doesn’t quite fit. Glue the strip into place and secure by driving a nail diagonally through the strip into the solid wood brace.

Finally, go ahead and install the hooks along the center of the wood strip.

HOME TIP: Stuck drawer? After checking to make sure the drawer is sitting properly in the runners, try rubbing problem spots with chalk, wax or soap, or sand down with fine-grade sandpaper.

When in doubt as to whether you can safely or effectively complete a project, consult a professional contractor.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.