The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, March 9, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 179

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...The Carthage Humane Society is asking for donations of canned & dry dog food and old newspapers due to an unusual amount of puppies coming into the shelter. Call 358-6402

Did Ya Know?...Spare Cat Rescue will host "Tom Cat Tuesdays each Tuesday in march. Low-cost neuter clinic. Call 358-1300 for appointment.

today's laugh

A man not knowledgeable of antiques, or their history, was standing next to a woman who was looking at a century old painting. As she stood admiring the priceless painting she said to the man that the painting went back to Louie The Fourteenth. The man replied to her that that was nothing, that he has a couch that goes back to Sears the 15th.

 

A couple attended marriage counseling to resolve communication problems. The fighting and bickering during the session was so bad the counselor called for a timeout and told them he was ending the session early but had an assignment for the husband.

"John," the marriage counselor said, "you’re an athletic guy… . I want you to jog 10 miles everyday for the next 30 days. At the end of the 30 days call me and let me know how things are going." John agreed.

At the end of the 30 days, John called the marriage counselor very excited. "I did just as you said and I have never felt better in my life!" he exclaimed over the phone.

"Great!" replied the counselor, " And how’s your wife?"

John paused and then replied with agitated dismay, "How should I know, I’m 300 miles from home!"

 

A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a tranc and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife. "Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?" "Yes, my husband." "Are you happy?" "Yes, my husband." "Happier than you were with me?" "Yes, my husband." "Then Heaven must be an amazing place!" "I’m not in Heaven."


1911


INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

NOTES FROM SCHOOL.

Among the interesting plants the botanists are studying is the Pitcher plant, so-called on account of the way it holds water, and thus many insects are drowned, from which source the plant gets its nitrogen supply. The species in the laboratory were gotten from the botanical garden in Washington, while Miss Van Neman was visiting there. Other plants are a zerophytic plant sent from Arizona, an Indian plant, which was gotten south of town, and a sun-due.

Miss Cupp has secured several prominent men in Carthage to lecture to the High School senior history class. Among those who will speak are E. B. Jacobs, who will talk on banking; Allen McReynolds and Westley Halliburton. A number of others will also be secured. Also, at a meeting of Central school teachers they decided to give every pupil who is absent from class on account of sickness, or for other reasons an examination at the end of the month.

  Today's Feature

2nd Annual CHS Alumni Basketball Tournament.

The Carthage High School Alumni Association (CHSAA) hosts the 2nd Annual Alumni Basketball Tournament on Saturday, April 2 at Carthage High School. Men’s and Women’s divisions are planned.

The tournament entry fee is $10 per person. All CHS alumni basketball players (except current collegiate players) are invited to participate. Registration deadline is March 18, 2011. Players should put together their own teams. Individual registrations will be accommodated when possible based on team openings available.

The event features single elimination bracket play beginning at 3 pm. Doors open at 2:30. Admission is $5 donation for adults and no charge for children ages 12 and under. Proceeds benefit Carthage R-9 School Foundation.

For player registration or additional information, contact CHS Alumni Association Chairperson Kelly Hartley at 417.674.7740 or kellyhartley@suddenlink.net, or Carthage R-9 School Foundation Director Vicki Cash at 417.359.7047 or cashv@carthage.k12.mo.us.



Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',

Went to a 60th wedding anniversary celebration recently. I was thinkin’ that was a lotta years to be married, but then got ta figurin’ I’d been around for a good portion of ‘em.

A friend a mine came that I’d known for forty years. The church where folks gathered was built when I was five or so. Folks were talkin’ bout how long the buildin’ had served the community and what good shape it was in. Nobody mentioned that I looked as good as I did back when I first sat in the pews and squirmed through the service. I did really appreciate the padded pews they have now. Some things are better than they used ta be when they were new.

Just ta paraphrase my grandad, there’s no disgrace in gettin’ older, just inconvenience.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.


Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns

HERE’S A TIP

By JoAnn Derson

• Among the many reuses for plastic newspaper bags: Put soiled diapers in one before putting in a trash can; use to pick up after your pet on a walk; fill with grocery store plastic bags for storage; keep a few to store wet swimsuits after a trip to the beach or pool.

• Before removing a splinter, ice the area. There’s less fussing, and a wooden splinter might absorb some liquid, causing it to swell enough to pop out a bit more on its own.

• Recycling paper is good, but reusing before recycling is even better. Ask your child’s classroom teacher if he or she has a "both sides" policy for lined papers. Also, copy paper that’s printed on only one side can be quartered for use as quick notepaper.

• Trying to spot roof damage but not quite sure you’re ready for a trip up the ladder? Before you get up on the roof, get out your binoculars. You’d be surprised how much you can see from the ground. Do a cursory examination and then decide if anything needs a closer look.

• "Cut kitchen sponges into smaller pieces. They clean as well as a larger sponge, and you can dispose of the smaller pieces when they get yucky." -- O.C. in Michigan

• "Need sliced mushrooms for your salad or recipe? They are hard to cut, but you might have a perfect tool for doing the job already in your kitchen. If you have an egg slicer, get it out. It works very well for mushrooms, and it’s easier to use than trying to cut those slices yourself." -- J.R. in Utah

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