A 17th Century captain was sailing along with
his crew when a pirate ship came over the horizon. The
captain says, "Cabin boy, get me my red shirt."
So, he gets his red shirt and they victoriously battle
the pirates. Several days later, they spot another pirate
ship off the port bow. "Cabin boy," says the
captain "get me my red shirt." They again
battle the pirates and are victorious. Later when things
had settled down, the cabin boy asks, "Captain, why
do you always want your red shirt just prior to
battle?" The captain responds, "Well, in case I
am inflicted with a wound, I dont want the crew to
see my injury and lose spirit." "I see,"
says the cabin boy. A few days later, they sight 20
pirate ships in the distance the captain yells out,
"Cabin boy, get me my brown pants."
A tourist stopped a local in a village
he was visiting and asked; "what is the quickest way
to the lake? The local thought for a while. "Are you
walking or driving?" he asked the tourist.
"Im driving." "That is the quickest
way!" the local said.
Theres no future in time travel
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A LIVELY SCRAP.
A Commission Man from
Kansas City Struck John Ramsay Today.
A commission man named Anderson, of
Kansas City, and John Ramsay, of Carthage, engaged in a
dispute over berry shipments in front of the express
office this afternoon. In the course of the argument the
Kansas Cityan dealt the Carthage man a smash over the eye
with his fist which floored him.
Route agent Vallee, and agent W. R.
Wise, separated the men before any further damage was
done. No arrests were made.
Awarded $5 Damages.
The jury summoned to decide the
benefits and damages to Thos. Dalys property on
Olive street, caused by the waterway running along it
decided that the damages only exceeded the benefits to
the amount of $5 and awarded him that amount.
The City Council is scheduled
to meet this evening in City Hall at 7:30 p.m.
The agenda includes the following:
Public Hearing on annexation
commonly known as 1705 S. Baker as requested by
Ministerios El Jordan.
C.B. 11-12 an Ordinance
authorizing the Mayor to enter into a contract
with Liberty Pyrotechnics L.L.C., of Joplin,
Missouri for fireworks display for the July
4,2011 celebration in the amount of $11 ,950.00.
C.B. 11-13 an Ordinance
annexing certain adjacent territory into the City
of Carthage, Jasper County, Missouri as requested
by Ministerio EI Jordan.
C.B. 11-14 an Ordinance
extending the current contract with Sprenkle and
Associates, Inc. to include a new term from July
1,2011 to June 30, 2013.
Resolution No. 1633 a
Resolution of the City of Carthage, Missouri,
authorizing a partial release of the designated
unreserved fund balance of the Golf Course Fund
in an amount not to exceed $86,000 as a
"set-aside" amount to cover annual debt
May 6, 2011
Weve decided to start
includin the daily inmate count for the
Jasper County Jail. There is no political
motive behind the decision, just an
interestin statistic for the community.
Ive personally heard
from the various players in the discussion
concernin the overcrowdin in the
jail. It appears to me that the only quick
solution is for people to stop linin up
to get in the place. Since it doesnt
seem that will happen anytime soon, some
other answers must be considered.
As those consideration are
bein made, well get a feel for
the boilin point with our "inmate
thermometer" and let ya watch the
These numbers are
bein distributed to the media by the
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
To Your Good
By Paul G. Donohue,
Common With Age
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Will you
write about diverticulosis? I was twice
hospitalized for it and had to stay there 12 days
in all. When I left, they didnt give me any
diet or medicines. I saw my primary doctor later,
who didnt think I had diverticulosis
because they didnt do much for me. Some
tell me that you dont have to stay on a
diet or take medicine. Is that so? -- N.F.
ANSWER: A diverticulum is a
tiny pouch formed by the colon lining that has
been pushed through the muscular colon wall. Its
size varies from 0.2 to 0.4 inches (5 to 10 mm)
in diameter, about the size of a small pea.
Diverticulosis indicates that the colon has
sprouted many diverticula. Its most often
silent. Close to one-third of adults at 60 years
of age have it. By age 80, two-thirds have it.
Diverticulosis is found in
countries where grains are refined. Refined
grains have lost their outer coat, the bran. Bran
was, at one time, the principal source of fiber.
Fiber keeps stool soft and easily pushed through
the digestive tract. With too little fiber, the
colon has to exert great force to move undigested
food along. That force is responsible for pushing
the colon lining through the colon wall to form a
diverticulum on its outer surface.
When you were hospitalized, you
had diverticulitis -- inflammation of
diverticulum. The neck of diverticula became
clogged with bacteria and pieces of hard stool.
The diverticula swelled. For mild symptoms,
people can be treated at home by going on a
liquid diet and taking antibiotics. For more
severe involvement, people are hospitalized and
fed intravenously and given intravenous
Now that your diverticulitis
has calmed down, the only diet you need follow is
one with plenty of fiber -- 30 to 35 grams a day.
Fruits, vegetables and whole grains are fiber
sources. Many cereals are filled with fiber:
Fiber One, All-Bran, Shredded Wheat and cooked
oatmeal are examples. You do not have to take any
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