The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, May 11, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 224

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?... The Disabled American Veterans & Auxiliary will be meeting on Tuesday May 17th at 7 pm on the 2nd floor of the Carthage Memorial Hall.

today's laugh

How is your new job at the factory?" One guy asked another.

"I’m not going back there."

Why not?"

"For many reasons," he answered. "The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship, the awful language – they just couldn’t put up with it.


An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked

"How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"


Two rules for success: 1. Don’t tell all you know.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Cyclists Must Carry Lights.

Marshal Stafford is preparing to begin a crusade against the cyclists who persist in riding at night without lamps. Said he, "There is a city ordinance against riding at night without a light and as there has been many complaints about the practice I have determined to enforce it." Cyclists will take warning accordingly as failure to comply with the ordinance will lead to arrests.

Sent to the Industrial School.

Alice Ridge, the 16-year-old girl arrested Thursday night charged with vagrancy, pleaded guilty before Justice T. M. Garland and was committed to the Girls’ Industrial school at Chillicothe, Mo., to remain until 21 years of age.

She was not locked up, but remained at the Commercial hotel. Marshal Stafford left last night for Chillicothe with the girl in charge. She accompanied him willingly.

  Today's Feature


Carthage Area United Way encourages community members to donate a sturdy bag of non-perishable items (canned foods, pasta, rice, cereal, etc.) to be collected by letter carriers as they deliver mail along their postal routes this Saturday.

"Stamp Out Hunger" is a national partnership between NALC, the U.S. Postal Service, United Way, the AFL-CIO, the National Rural Letter Carriers’ Association, Campbell, Feeding America, Valpak, AARP and Uncle Bob’s Self Storage. Carriers will take the donations to the local Post Office and then it will be delivered to Carthage Crosslines, a Carthage Area United Way agency that assists in meeting emergency needs of persons and families in the community by providing assistance with food and clothing.

Those unable to get their donation out on Saturday morning can drop off any donation, all year long, at the Crossline’s office, 600 E. 6th Street between 8 and noon or call 358-1577 for more information.

Bags should be left next to the mailbox.

According to the Carthage Area United Way each year, millions of Americans join the effort to help meet the needs of nearly 50 million Americans who live in families that lack sufficient food. One in seven adults and nearly one-quarter of all children are hungry and not receiving the basic nutrition they need. Moving into the summer months, 22 million students are at risk of going hungry when the school year ends. For many children, school meals are the only complete and nutritious meals they eat.

Jasper County Jail Count

No Statistics today

May 9, 2011

Just Jake Talkin'

From what I’ve read, retirement ain’t what it used ta be. They say a lotta folks just keep on goin’, and goin’ and goin’.

By the year 2050, there are supposed ta be over twice as many over the age of 65 livin’ in the U.S. as there are now. That means that a large block of voters will be old enough ta know better I suppose.

They say that the big business types are tryin’ ta figure out what this enlarged mass of maturity will be buyin’ and what their eatin’ habits and such will be. I’d have ta guess that like most groups of consumers, they’ll know it when they see it.

Women seem ta be noticeably outlivin’ the men folk and difference seems ta be increasin’. I won’t make any speculation on that statistic at all.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


By JoAnn Derson

• "Fill a quart-size zip-lock bag with water and double-bag it, making sure there is no air in the bag. Place it inside the toilet tank, on the opposite side from the pump. Secure it there, if you can. This will displace some of the water when you flush, and you will use less water as a consequence." -- E.S. in Florida

• If you have a stained porcelain sink, try using it to soak your stained garments. The presoak can do double duty on the stained sink and washables alike.

• To make your own breadcrumbs without a chopper or blender, place dry bread pieces in a plastic bag. Use a rolling pin to "roll" them into crumbs.

• Save water in the shower by using your kitchen timer, set for no more than 5 minutes. If you can find a digital one, you will know better how much time you have left. After a little while, you almost don’t need the timer.

• "If you seal your jelly jars with wax, here’s a good tip: Place a small piece of string into the wax before it hardens. Then, you’ll be able to pull on the string to remove the wax when you’re ready to enjoy your homemade goodies!" -- U.L. in Maine

• Laundry stain removers can be good to remove stains from concrete drives. For instance, my relatives’ car was leaking, and I was able to get the stains from my pavers by using a spray-and-wash stain remover I borrowed from the laundry room. It worked very well. -- S.E. in Arkansas.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.