How is your new job at the factory?" One
guy asked another.
"Im not going back
"For many reasons," he
answered. "The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship,
the awful language they just couldnt put up
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted
asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You
just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day
pass? You must do something spectacular for that
recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later
in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked
"How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and
went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the
border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the
Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab
soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we
Two rules for success: 1.
Dont tell all you know.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Cyclists Must Carry
Marshal Stafford is preparing to begin
a crusade against the cyclists who persist in riding at
night without lamps. Said he, "There is a city
ordinance against riding at night without a light and as
there has been many complaints about the practice I have
determined to enforce it." Cyclists will take
warning accordingly as failure to comply with the
ordinance will lead to arrests.
Sent to the
Alice Ridge, the 16-year-old girl
arrested Thursday night charged with vagrancy, pleaded
guilty before Justice T. M. Garland and was committed to
the Girls Industrial school at Chillicothe, Mo., to
remain until 21 years of age.
She was not locked up, but remained at
the Commercial hotel. Marshal Stafford left last night
for Chillicothe with the girl in charge. She accompanied
FOOD DRIVE ON
SATURDAY, MAY 14
Carthage Area United Way
encourages community members to donate a sturdy
bag of non-perishable items (canned foods, pasta,
rice, cereal, etc.) to be collected by letter
carriers as they deliver mail along their postal
routes this Saturday.
"Stamp Out Hunger" is
a national partnership between NALC, the U.S.
Postal Service, United Way, the AFL-CIO, the
National Rural Letter Carriers Association,
Campbell, Feeding America, Valpak, AARP and Uncle
Bobs Self Storage. Carriers will take the
donations to the local Post Office and then it
will be delivered to Carthage Crosslines, a
Carthage Area United Way agency that assists in
meeting emergency needs of persons and families
in the community by providing assistance with
food and clothing.
Those unable to get their
donation out on Saturday morning can drop off any
donation, all year long, at the Crosslines
office, 600 E. 6th Street between 8 and noon or
call 358-1577 for more information.
Bags should be left next to the
According to the Carthage Area
United Way each year, millions of Americans join
the effort to help meet the needs of nearly 50
million Americans who live in families that lack
sufficient food. One in seven adults and nearly
one-quarter of all children are hungry and not
receiving the basic nutrition they need. Moving
into the summer months, 22 million students are
at risk of going hungry when the school year
ends. For many children, school meals are the
only complete and nutritious meals they eat.
May 9, 2011
From what Ive read,
retirement aint what it used ta be.
They say a lotta folks just keep on
goin, and goin and goin.
By the year 2050, there are
supposed ta be over twice as many over the
age of 65 livin in the U.S. as there
are now. That means that a large block of
voters will be old enough ta know better I
They say that the big
business types are tryin ta figure out
what this enlarged mass of maturity will be
buyin and what their eatin habits
and such will be. Id have ta guess that
like most groups of consumers, theyll
know it when they see it.
Women seem ta be noticeably
outlivin the men folk and difference
seems ta be increasin. I wont
make any speculation on that statistic at
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
HERES A TIP
"Fill a quart-size
zip-lock bag with water and double-bag it, making
sure there is no air in the bag. Place it inside
the toilet tank, on the opposite side from the
pump. Secure it there, if you can. This will
displace some of the water when you flush, and
you will use less water as a consequence."
-- E.S. in Florida
If you have a stained
porcelain sink, try using it to soak your stained
garments. The presoak can do double duty on the
stained sink and washables alike.
To make your own
breadcrumbs without a chopper or blender, place
dry bread pieces in a plastic bag. Use a rolling
pin to "roll" them into crumbs.
Save water in the shower
by using your kitchen timer, set for no more than
5 minutes. If you can find a digital one, you
will know better how much time you have left.
After a little while, you almost dont need
"If you seal your
jelly jars with wax, heres a good tip:
Place a small piece of string into the wax before
it hardens. Then, youll be able to pull on
the string to remove the wax when youre
ready to enjoy your homemade goodies!" --
U.L. in Maine
Laundry stain removers
can be good to remove stains from concrete
drives. For instance, my relatives car was
leaking, and I was able to get the stains from my
pavers by using a spray-and-wash stain remover I
borrowed from the laundry room. It worked very
well. -- S.E. in Arkansas.
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