Things people actually said in court, word for
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment
of the accident?
A: Gucci sweatshirt and Reeboks.
Q: So the date of conception (of the
baby) was August 8th?
Q: And what were you doing at that
Q: She had three children, right?
Q: How many were boys?
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage
A: By death.
Q: By whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
Q: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the
A: No, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
Q: What was the first thing your
husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I,
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
C. L. Bartlett Stock
W. S. Wells today purchased the C. L.
Bartlett grocery stock from Mrs. C. L. Bartlett. County
superintendent, W. N. Wharton, represented Mrs. Bartlett.
The consideration was not made public but the stock
invoiced over $1100. Mrs. Wells will add to the stock and
open for business Wednesday morning. He will make the
stock one of the finest in Carthage and will sell part of
the old goods at cut prices.
Death of Mrs. Minerva
Mrs. Minerva R. Dally died at her home
on South Lyon street last evening at 6:45 oclock
after a lingering illness of consumption. She leaves
three children - a son and two daughters. The funeral was
held this afternoon at 4 oclock at the residence.
Dr. J. W. Stewart, of the First M. E. church conducted
the services. The remains will be taken this evening to
her old home at Manchester, Ohio, for burial.
Sat. May 14
Due to the Civil War
Re-enactment Saturday, May 14, all vehicles must
be removed from Muniipal Park to Garrison Avenue
on Oak street between the hours of 12 p.m. and 5
p.m. The Civil War March will start at Municipal
Park and proceed east down Oak Street, across
Garrison Avenue to 4th Street, and south on Maple
Street to Central Park.
All vehicles must be removed
from the downtown area from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. This
area consists of Garrison Avenue east to Howard
Street, and from 2nd Street south to West
Chestnut Street. From 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.
From 2 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.,
troops will be fighting street to street.
Pedestrians must stay off the streets and
sidewalks in the re-enactment area (except for
the designated spectator corridor). Spectators
must stay out of Central Park and the streets
surrounding it. Courthouse spectators must stay
on the courthouse lawn, not on the streets or
Jasper County Jail
210 May 10, 2011
208 May 11, 2011
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Edwards Would Love to Tame
Carl Edwards has never won at
Darlington Raceway. Then again, hes never
arrived at the South Carolina track with the
Sprint Cup point lead.
Darlington is NASCARs
oldest superspeedway... and strangest. It is
egg-shaped in that one side (turns 3 and 4) is
markedly narrower than the other. The track
itself, in terms of usable asphalt, is narrower
than any other. As such, it is perhaps stock-car
racings sternest test.
"The first time I went to
Darlington was in the Truck Series, and I had
studied tape with Jeff Burton," Edwards
recalled. "Bobby Hudson was my spotter. He
grew up right around there, and hed seen
races there forever, and I mean, for a month
leading up to that race, I heard more Darlington
stories ... about how tough that track was, and
learned about the history of it through my
studying of how to run fast there. To me,
its a mythical place.
"To win there, to me,
would mean a lot. It would be huge. Ive
been very close. Weve been fast in the
trucks, fast in the Nationwide car, really fast
in the Cup car, and have never won a race there.
Thats a very important race to me."
A year ago, Edwards finished
15th in the Showtime Southern 500, won by Denny
Hamlin. Overall, his record is solid: four top-10
finishes in seven races, including a second place
in 2008 to Kyle Busch.
So far, Edwards, from Columbia,
Mo., has finished sixth or better in seven of the
nine Sprint Cup races. He has a win and two
poles. Hes also won twice in the Nationwide
Edwards leads Jimmie Johnson,
winner of the past five championships, by only
"Right now ... its
all about winning races, learning and performing
well enough to lock yourself into the
Chase," said Edwards. "For us to be
leading is fun. It feels good, but its also
about having a little bit of insurance. ...
Jimmie (Johnson) and those guys have been doing
"Hopefully we can keep
them behind us. That would be nice."
I have always enjoyed
watchin a major thunderstorm move
through. Clouds movin this way and
that, formin all those wierd shapes.
Course as a kid, it made it a lot
easier to enjoy it cause we had a
basement to run to if things got too outa
I suppose there is
somethin in our nature that makes us
admire the works and power of nature.
I see where folks are
goin out and gettin lowered into
shark infested waters while bein
protected by a metal cage. Payin good
money too, I suppose.
Most of us who were brought
up around the farm had some encounter with a
rat or a snake or unpleasant hog that pretty
well eliminated the urge to tempt anything
with large teeth. Learned those lessons for
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Dear Tom and Ray:
Setting the scene: Six
middle-age guys cruising the Caribbean in a
40-foot catamaran, mooring and anchoring at a
variety of harbors, bays and coves using our
dingy and its two-stroke motor to ferry us to and
from shore. When the motor started losing power
and occasionally misfiring, the most mechanically
savvy member of our group dismantled it and went
right to removing the spark plugs, finding both
tips well-fouled with carbon, one more so than
the other. He replaced the worst one with a new
plug found in the boats tool kit, but
lacking another new plug, he decided to try to
clean the buildup on the better of the two fouled
plugs. So, lacking any other solvent but having
plenty of ethanol of various flavors on board, he
and an assistant soaked the spark plug in (fairly
expensive) vodka for an hour or so, after which
it cleaned up quite well. After the plug was
replaced, the motor ran as smooth as silk, and
with plenty of newfound power. Should we let the
marketing department of the vodka brand know
about its products expanded functionality?
Your fans -- Joe, Martin, Martin, Frank, Tim and
TOM: Well, we use nothing but
Grey Goose in our shop.
RAY: As youve discovered,
guys, alcohol is a wonderful solvent. And
its an excellent way to clean carbon off of
TOM: I would guess that the
higher the proof -- hence the greater the alcohol
content -- the better its going to work for
RAY: Id use vodka over,
say, Grand Marnier.
TOM: What we have to figure out
is whether its more cost-effective than the
carburetor cleaner we currently use in the shop.
Ill have to compare the cost per ounce.
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