After five years of toil at a Wall Street law
firm, an associate was burning the midnight oil at his
Suddenly, there was a flash of light,
and a tower of smoke burst from the floor. Satan stepped
out of the smoke, and addressed the lawyer. "I
understand youd give absolutely anything to make
partner," said the devil, "So Ive come
here to make you an offer. Ill make you a partner,
but in return I will take the souls of your wife, your
parents, your children, your grandchildren, and all of
The lawyer looked strangely puzzled,
and thought hard for several minutes. Finally, he turned
to Satan and asked, "Whats the catch?"
A law professor was lecturing to his
students and asked them if they were familiar with Roe
vs. Wade. When none of the students volunteered an
answer, he called on Bambi in the front row.
Bambi thought hard for a moment and
then finally replied, "That was the decision
Washington had to make before crossing the
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Dwelling on Fulton
Street Damaged Good Work of the Firemen.
The fire department was called out at
3:20 oclock this afternoon by a blaze on South
Fulton street. The roof of a small frame dwelling house
owned by Mrs. M. J. Phillis and occupied by the family of
W. H. Deamer caught fire, it is supposed, from a spark
from the chimney and the entire roof was in flames when
the department arrived. Mrs. Deamer built a bright fire
in her cook stove this afternoon to boil some syrup and
was busily engaged when a little girl, playing in the
alley near the house, saw the smoke and gave the alarm.
The fire department quickly responded and soon had the
flames under control. Neighbors carried out all the
household goods, even to the carpets, and the loss will
be but slight in that particular. The roof and ceilings
of the house were badly damaged, however. The building
was insured for $500.
The Carthage Humane Society has
become a partner in the national Rescue
Every month, a Rescue
Waggin vehicle will stop by the Carthage
Humane Society to pick up homeless dogs and
puppies that might otherwise be euthanized and
transport them to other shelters where there are
more adopters. Carthage Humane society staff and
volunteers must select the dogs and puppies,
evaluate them behaviorally for the trip, and give
them a health exam before they can be considered
for transport. The dogs picked up in Carthage
will be transported to Wayside Waifs, an animal
shelter in Kansas City, Mo., where they are
guaranteed to find a new home.
"Were very excited
to have been selected to participate in this
life-saving program," says Glenda Erwin,
Interim Shelter Manager. "The Rescue
Waggin program will be a lifesaver for so
many of our dogs who have been waiting anziously
for a loving home."
During transport on the Rescue
Waggin vehicle, dogs and puppies receive an
airconditioned custom-ride to their destination
shelter, including piped-in lullabies. Arriving
the same day, the dogs get 12-24 hours of
down time before getting a medical
check-up, their spay/neuter surgery, and
placement on the adoption floor. Dogs arriving on
the Rescue Waggin vehicle are generall
adopted within a week of their arrival.
"With three to four
million pets still euthanized across the nation
each year, we created the Rescue Waggin
program to help shelters achieve their goals of
getting more adoptable pets placed into good
homes - wherever those homes may be," says
Susana Della Maddalena, Executive Director of
More than 55 animal shelters
participate in the Rescue Waggin Program,
which operates routes along the East Coast,
Midwest, Great Plains and South Central states.
Jasper County Jail Count
May 12, 2011
Including Placed out of County
With all the talk of the "virtual
office" where folks work at home via
computer modems and such, there seems that now it
aint what some hoped it would be cracked up
There are a lot of
advantages, no drivin in ta work,
flexible schedules, and easy communication,
but somethin seems ta be missin.
As much as most complain about the
congestion, people still work better when
they have interaction with other people.
For those who worry that
people will get used ta sittin in front
of a computer screen and never see the light
a day again, this is good news.
Im sure there were
those who made predictions of doom when the
telephone came around, probly parents
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Q: Do you have any tips on
making affordable repairs to wood furniture
around the house? -- A Reader, via e-mail
A: There are so many different
problems that can occur with furniture, and so
many fixes, that it would be tough to list them
all. Here are a few common issues with furniture
Stains -- White stains
on shellac or lacquer finishes are usually caused
by water. Black spots under the finish can be
caused by water damage or ink. Other staining
material like crayon, grease or lipstick can mar
any wood finish.
Discoloration -- A white
haze over lacquer or shellac finish also is
caused by moisture.
Marks -- Gouges,
scratches and burns that cause physical damage to
either the finish or the wood, or both.
So, how does one fix any or all
of these common furniture ailments? There are a
number of different ways to repair damage to the
finish or the wood surface. I would recommend
picking up a book on furniture repair and
restoration to get a general idea of the best
ways to fix different types of wood and different
types of finishes.
Meantime, you can prepare
yourself to tackle minor finish issues by keeping
the following items in your toolkit or workshop:
--Sandpaper in several fine and
--Buffing material (lint-free
cloth or a buffing attachment)
--Liquid furniture polish
--Mineral oil and/or linseed
--Wood stain (a small can only,
matching the color of your furniture)
--Finish (a small container
matching the type of finish on your furniture)
--Wax furniture sticks
These basic items will allow
you to tackle small stains on the finish, under
the finish. Youll also be able to quickly
touch up scratches and dings.
HOME TIP: When repairing minor
finish problems in furniture, start with the
least intrusive method -- lightly polishing and
buffing the area -- before taking more drastic
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