While out golfing with his wife a man slices his
drive hard to the right. It lands so that there is a
large barn between him and the green.
After much contemplation as to how to
play the shot his wife suggests that they open the doors
on both ends of the barn and then he can shoot straight
through the barn.
He agrees and takes his shot. He misses
the doorway and the ball bounces back hitting his wife in
the head and killing her.
Several years later the man is back
playing the same course with a buddy and makes exactly
the same shot.
His bubby also suggests that he open
the barn doors and shoot through.
The man says to his buddy, "No,
last time a tried that shot I ended up with a double
bogey on this hole!"
Please stop checking your watch all the
time, caddy. Its distracting!
This isnt a watch, Sir, its a
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Quick Returns from
H. Campbell said today: "The
quickest returns from mining that I have ever known were
recorded Saturday on some land near Webb City in which I
am interested. Two boys began work from the grass roots
at noon on Friday and Saturday they had taken out 1100
pounds of lead." This made them $10 each perday for
at Carl Junction.
W. T. Franklin was Saturday night
elected principal of the Carl Junction schools by the
board of education of that place. Mr. Franklin is a young
man of energy and ability and one of the most progressive
teachers of the county. His many friends will wish him
G. A. R. Day.
Sat., July 3, is to be G. A. R. day,
and the local post will have speakers of National
reputation secured for the event.
Carthage Citywide Sidewalk Sale
is scheduled for Saturday, July 23rd.
Neely Myers, Membership
Director of the Carthage Chamber of Commerce said
"Carthage retailers are vital to our local
economy. Carthage is home to such a vast array of
businesses offering products and services
commonly needed as well as many unique treasures
not found in many communities."
In addition to the many retail
businesses offering their products and services,
the Farmers Market will be open on the
North side of the Square during the Saturday
event. Fresh locally-grown vegetables, fabulous
baked goods and beautiful plants and flowers will
be available beginning at 7 a.m. Many products
sell quickly, so come early.
"All retailers are invited
to participate, serving and welcoming local
residents and guests to the community," says
Neely. "Whether promoting summer sales, back
to school or upcoming fall home improvement and
decorating, this is an effort to maximize
customer contact and promote the Carthage
Jasper County Jail Count
released at press time
Some say that a name has a
lotta influence on how a person is perceived.
I know of several teenagers who have
announced they are changin their name
to better suit their perception of
My daughter decided to
start usin her first, rather than her
middle she was known by, name after she
finished high school. Course no one in
the family ever changed what they referred to
her as, and eventually she went back to
acceptin the tradition.
Another kid I knew actually
legally changed his name. He now will not
respond to any other name.
I suppose the sayin
about a rose by any other name is still a
rose. But the same can be said for the
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
To Your Good
By Paul G. Donohue,
Backseat as Gout Treatment
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Do you have
information on gout? I am 65, and my son-in-law
is 32. We both have it. It is so painful. My
doctor was pretty vague. He asked me to go on the
computer to find which foods I should or should
not eat. I found that you cant eat meat and
fish, but salmon and chicken are all right. Some
vegetables cant be eaten. How about
tomatoes and tomato products? Does one attack
mean gout is forever? What is the medicine of
choice? -- C.B.
ANSWER: Gout comes about when
the blood uric-acid level rises. Uric acid seeps
into joints to form needle-shaped crystals that
cause joint swelling and unspeakable pain. Uric
acid, in turn, is a byproduct of cell chemistry.
Its blood level rises because a person makes too
much or passes too little into the urine.
A first gout attack most often
occurs in the joint at the base of the big toe.
The skin over the joint turns red, and the joint
swells and becomes exceedingly painful. One of
the best ways of diagnosing gout is to draw fluid
from the affected joint and examine it with a
microscope to see the needle-shaped uric-acid
crystals. Gout can affect other joints: the knee,
wrist, ankle and fingers. One attack of gout
doesnt call for lifelong treatment.
Indocin (indomethacin) is the
drug most often used for an acute gout attack.
Colchicine and cortisone also work well.
Medicines for gout prevention
are taken if a person has frequent attacks (two
or three a year), has formed uric-acid kidney
stones, has kidney damage secondary to gout or
passes large amounts of uric acid into the urine.
Zyloprim (allopurinol) reduces uric acid
production. Probenecid increases its elimination
into the urine. Uloric, a new gout drug, is for
those not responding to these two.
Diet was the sole means for
gout treatment in the old days. Now, with
effective medicines, it takes a back seat.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.