There was a man trying to understand God, so he
asked Him, "God, how long is a million years to
God answered, "A million years is
like a minute."
Then the man asked, "God, how much
is a million dollars to you?"
God replied, "A million dollars is
like a penny."
The man thought for a short time and
asked, "God, will you give me a penny?"
"In a minute," God responded.
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose
you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.-
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold
Schwarzenegger of groping six women. Im telling
you, this guy is presidential material.-Dave Letterman
Deja Moo: The feeling that youve
heard this bull before.
Q. What is the quickest way to get a
philosophy graduate off your front porch?
A. Pay for your pizza in cash
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Fine Flow of Water.
The drill hole at the fair grounds has
penetrated a strong vein of pure, clear water, and the
liquid now stands within a foot of the top of the ground.
Yesterday an inch siphon was used to siphon the water out
of the hole, but after running a half hour the level of
the water was the same. The water is pure, clear and cold
and the fair grounds owners now have an excellent well if
they never strike mineral.
A team hitched to a farm wagon ran away
down North Grant street today. At the intersection of
Central avenue the wagon collided with a telegraph pole
and the horses were released from the wagon, which
doubtless saved a serious accident. Two men, two women
and a little child occupied the wagon. One of the young
women was just recovering from an attack of nervous
DAY of CARING.
Friday, May 20, 2011 has been
set for the 11th Annual Day of Caring. Volunteers
will spend half the day or more performing
much-needed tasks for the non-profit agencies of
the Carthage Area United Way.
"This day is an exciting
way to involve many different people in the
spirit of volunteerism in our community,"
said Jenny Mansfield , Carthage Area United Way
Executive Director, "As well as providing
first-hand experience with the programs of our
non-profit agencies who are helping many families
in various ways throughout the year."
Activities will take place at
designated agency locations throughout our area.
The tasks vary from painting, landscaping and
cleaning, as well as assisting with activities
with preschoolers and much more.
The following health and human
service agencies that will be receiving Day of
Caring volunteer help are Boy Scout Camp Frank
Childress, Girl Scout Camp Mintahama, Salvation
Army, Cerebral Palsy Center, Carthage Crisis
Center, Family Literacy Center and the Lafayette
County Jail Count
Total Including Placed out of
Ive never really
figured out what a cow does in a
"loafin shed." I suspect I
just dont appreciate how hard a cow
works just walkin round
eatin all the time.
Im sure even the city
folks have seen these structures. Usually
three sides covered with tin and an open
front. A place to get out of the weather or
act as a wind break in colder weather.
If they called it a rain
shed or a warmin shed it would make
more sense to me.
It is possible that
durin more primitive times other work
animals were responsible for the term. I can
see a horse or a ox loafin after a good
days work in the field.
Course the jest of
this is that I am thinkin of
puttin up my own shed. I just
cant figure if its worth the
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
HERES A TIP
matches wrapped in tin foil to keep them dry
while on camping or fishing trips. You also can
store them in an empty pill bottle if
theyre the short kind. Fill paper
egg-carton cups with dryer lint and drizzle them
with wax; cut the cups apart, and youll
have small firestarters for your campfires. My
family does a lot of camping in the summer, and
we use these every time." -- K.R. in
To get scorched pan
bottoms clean, scrub with sudsy ammonia and rinse
"Most people know
that baby-food jars make wonderful organizer
containers. But you also can make a great first
cup from a baby-food jar. Screw on the lid
tightly and poke holes along one side. Baby can
tip and sip, but not much will come out. They are
just the right size for small hands." --
M.W. in Alabama
Baby oil can loosen soap
scum from shower doors. Apply and buff lightly
with a soft washcloth. Follow with a shampoo
cleaning, or just leave as is. It will repel
water, and smells nice, too.
To keep shirt collars
from absorbing oil and grime, sprinkle with
talcum powder while ironing.
Keep your steering wheel
in touchable condition on very hot days with a
paper grocery bag. Cut out a strip down one side
of the bag to allow it to slip over the steering
column. The bag can be refolded and stored next
to your seat. When you get out of the car, just
slip the bag over the steering wheel. No more
burning hands when you get back in the car.
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