| today's
laugh A Congressman was once asked about his attitude
toward whiskey.
"If you mean the demon drink that
poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family
life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against
it."
"But if you mean the elixir of
Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the
taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers
to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for
it.
"This is my position, and I will
not compromise!"
A pair of congressmen met for lunch to
hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into
the meal, one angrily pounded the table.
"You’re lying!" he shouted.
"Of course I’m lying,"
the other said, "but hear me out."
This year Groundhog Day and the State
of the Union Address are on the same day.
As Air America Radio pointed out,
"It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a
meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of
little intelligence for prognostication, and the other
involves a groundhog."
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Dr. Brooks in St.
Louis.
Yesterday’s St. Louis
Globe-Democrat contains some interesting chat under the
head of "Gossip with the Medicos," about
prominent physicians attending the meeting of the
Missouri Medical Society in that city. The following will
be of particular interest to Carthaginians, as it refers
to Dr. R. F. Brooks, of this city, who is quite prominent
in the convention, and read a paper on Bright’s
disease.
The most striking figure in the
convention so far as personal appearance is concerned, is
Dr. Brooks, of Carthage. He is recognized as a skilled
surgeon. He is tall and angular and wears his hair
cropped quite closely on the top of the head, but allows
it to fall in festoons about his ears.
He undid a years work by a prominent St
Louis physician on the croup by simply telling that he
had four cases of the croup and they all died. He added,
"Does that look like croup is a mild disease?
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Today's Feature More
Sheriff/Commission Talk.
Jasper County Archie Dunn and
the Jasper County Commission had another rather
confrontational exchange during the regular
meeting of the Commission Tuesday morning in the
Carthage Courthouse.
The discussion began with
Presiding Commissioner John Bartosh questioning
the request by Dunn to make an interest only
payment on a lease/purchase agreement originally
authorized by the Commission in 2007 for a
communications tower.
Dunn told the Commission that
the interest only payment was in his budget that
the Commission authorized last January and he had
made arrangements with the bank to allow the
adjustment for this year. The bank, however,
wanted the "blessing" of the Commission
to complete the deal.
Commissioner Darieus Adams said
the Commission assumed that the payment was in
the budget when some line items were combined.
The Commission did not authorize the deal. They
want at least a portion of the principle to be
paid. They said funds are available in other
parts of the Sheriff’s budget.
Jasper
County Jail Count
194
May 18, 2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By
Monte Dutton
This Time
It Counts for Regan Smith
DARLINGTON, S.C. -- Twice Regan
Smith has crossed a Sprint Cup finish line first.
At Darlington Raceway, it finally counted.
There’s no need to dredge
up 2008, when Smith was penalized at the end of a
race at Talladega credited to Tony Stewart.
Besides, Smith said he’d rather win the
Southern 500 anyway.
What’s the use of living
in the past? What’s the use of letting old
wounds fester?
"This isn’t a knock
on Talladega at all, but I would trade [it all]
for one win in the Southern 500," said Smith
in the wee hours of Sunday morning. "This is
so special. We were looking at the names and
faces on the trophy.
"You think about it. My
face is going to be right there next to these
guys and it’s going to be there forever. You
can’t change that. It certainly means a lot
to me."
Some races go to the guy in the
fastest car. Others go to the guy who plays his
cards right. Darlington isn’t a rabbit. No
one pulls it out of a hat. Strategy -- staying
out while others pitted -- put Smith in position,
but when the field went to the post for the final
time, Smith’s betting line was about the
same as a horse named Animal Kingdom earlier in
the day.
Carl Edwards couldn’t
catch him. Enough said.
Smith drives a relatively plain
black Chevy headquartered in Denver, Colo., in
the only sport where the most important Denver
(at least until Saturday night) was in North
Carolina. It’s No. 78, for gosh sakes.
That’s like an outfielder wearing, uh, No.
78.
The odds are still long, but
things are looking up. Smith’s still
starring in "Mission: Impossible." For
his next task, which he chooses to accept, he has
to prove that a "1" in the 10th race is
more significant than the 24.4 average of the
first nine.
"Any win is special,"
said Smith. "This one is even more special.
To get the first one here ... it’s certainly
a big deal.
"We survived and we
won."
That’s the way it works at
Darlington.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I never knew ‘xactly
how long a "nick" was, but I gotta
figure it’s pretty short. The cavalry
always arrived just in the nick of
time.‘Course I never had any idea what a
"nack" was at all. I just know my
grandmother kept all her nacks on a shelf
with her nicks. There wasn’t a nack
shelf and a nick shelf, always a nick nack
shelf.
Actually all this comes
from the word knack. Knickknack is apparently
someone’s idea of the plural of knack. A
collection of knacks is a knackery.
Reminiscent of a hatchery I suppose. That may
explain why so many knacks and knicks are
chicks.
A room used to store a
collection of knickknacks is called a
knickknackatory.
I don’t recall ever
hearin’ that term, but I think my aunt
may have qualified as an unwitting keeper of
a multilevel knickknackatory.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply |
Weekly
Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
Dear Tom and Ray:
I have a 1998 Chrysler Town and
Country Minivan with the six-cylinder engine.
Whenever I drive through a puddle, the belt slips
off. I have replaced the water pump, idler pulley
and tensioner, to no avail. This occurs so often
that I must carry a specially modified wrench
underneath my driver’s seat so I can stop
and put the belt back on. I have become so
proficient at this that I can put the belt back
on in less than four minutes. I have asked
numerous mechanics, both shadetree and
dealership, but have stumped them all. Can you
explain the cause and provide a solution so that
I may hang the wrench back up in my garage? --
William
RAY: Well, we can’t fix
your car, William, but if you really can change a
belt in four minutes flat, I’d be happy to
offer you my brother’s job.
TOM: Actually, this is a common
problem with Chrysler minivans of that era.
Usually when a belt slips off, it’s due to
either a worn-out belt or a misaligned pulley.
RAY: If the pulleys aren’t
all in the same exact plane, the one that’s
out of line will try to tug the belt either
forward or backward out of that plane, and with
the help of something slippery -- like some water
-- it often can succeed in pulling off the belt.
TOM: So about five years ago,
Gates came up with a set of replacement parts you
can have installed that WILL solve the problem.
RAY: The Gates kit contains a
special double-sided, grooved belt and matching
grooved tensioner and idler pulleys.
TOM: The kit costs just over
$100, and your mechanic can get it from his Gates
supplier and install it for you (we’re told
Goodyear has a similar kit). Then you can hang
that wrench back up until the next thing breaks.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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