The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Friday, May 20, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 231

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. Acoustic jam at Red OakII every Sat. starting at 5:30 p.m. in the Salem Country Church. All styles of acoustic music welcomed.

today's laugh

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I’d like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... don’t think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means."

Room Service: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘toast’...

Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side"

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that’s everything."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You’re welcome"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

School Board Meeting.

New Teachers Elected - L. W. Clark Re-elected Janitor.

The board of education held a meeting last night in the library of the high school building. Prof. W. R. Adams, of Springfield, and Miss Walker, of Sarcoxie, were elected as teachers in the schools. Both are graduates of the Lincoln Institute at Jefferson and come highly recommended.

Mrs. M. J. McClurg proposed to the board that a number of ladies might do much toward securing new books for the library by soliciting. The plan is for the ladies to solicit subscriptions of a dollar, each subscriber being allowed the free use of the library for a year. The plan met with favor and was endorsed by the board with the proviso that $50 must be raised to be expended for new books. L. W. Clark was re-elected janitor in chief and will have charge of the school building.

  Today's Feature

Sobriety Checkpoints on Water.

Missouri State Highway Patrol’s Water Patrol Division announces efforts to reduce the incidents of intoxicated vessel operators by the establishment of sobriety checkpoints on Missouri’s lakes and rivers. Vessel sobriety checkpoints will be conducted on many of the state’s bodies of water throughout the 2011 boating season. Sobriety checkpoints are conducted to increase the boating public’s awareness of the potential hazards of operating a boat while intoxicated, maximize enforcement efforts in deterring impaired boating, remove intoxicated boaters from Missouri waterways, and reduce fatalities and injuries through vigorous enforcement of Missouri boating laws.

Last year, just over half of the boating fatalities in Missouri involved alcohol. Missouri boat operators found to have a blood alcohol content of .08% will be arrested for boating while intoxicated. Studies have shown that it can take less alcohol to affect a person’s reaction time when out on the water due the additional environmental stressors boaters are exposed to such as noise, wind, vibration, and sun.

Jasper County Jail Count

194 May 19, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

In this era of mass media and the homogenized fast paced life-style of the larger metropolitan areas, there seems to be some value in not just ridin’ the tide.

Some of the most successful business ventures seem to be those which go against the grain a little.

Some Wall Street types preach this line a thinkin’ all the time. Watch for the trend, then go the other way. The thinkin’ is that by the time it’s a trend, ever’one is already on board.

Those who settled in this part of the country were experts at findin’ opportunities where no one else was lookin’.

The recent exersise in the Downtown Visioning Committee looked "outside the box". Hopefully the investment brings a legitimate return.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column


ART NOTES from Hyde House

by Sally Armstrong, Director of artCentral

I am continuing to prepare our new exhibition opening at Hyde House on May 20th with a group from the Missouri Colored Pencil Artist Society. Most of the work is here, and the pieces are colorful and beautiful. A unifying factor would be realism, but the subject matter and styles are varied and unique. Continuing with a discussion of the artists not mentioned last week, I will present Lora Waring, a Carthage artist and member of artCentral as well as the Colored Pencil Society of America. Lora is presenting mostly floral themed work, very soft colorations, in both watercolor pencil as well as regular colored pencil. She was born and raised in Florida, and nature has always been a part of her life. She is self taught and presented her work in the Member gallery in 2009. A new artist for artCenral is Reeds Spring artist Karen Deeds. She was recently accepted into the CPSA’s International juried competition, and four years ago had a piece juried into the CPSA "Explore This #4" exhibition. Both of these works will be in our show here at artCentral. Karen has worked in colored pencil & watercolor, has taught art in high school and at all levels, including adult workshops. She is a multi-award winner and displays her work in galleries in Kimberling City and Springfield. Additionally, we will be displaying a group colored pencil works by some local junior/student artists in the Member Gallery. These are the remaining artists that will be bringing their work to us at our next opening this week, so please plan to be with us Friday, May 20th at 6:00 for this great exhibition, which will then remain on our galleries weekends noon to 5:00 through June 5th.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.