While making his rounds, a doctor points out an
x-ray to a group of medical students.
"As you can see," he says,
"the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia
are radically arched."
The doctor turns to one of the
students, "What would you do in a case like
"Well," ponders the student,
"I suppose Id limp, too."
"Information? I need the number of
Caseway Insurance Company."
"Would you spell that,
"Certainly. Thats C as in
cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in
why. A as in are. Y as in you."
"Just a minute, sir. Ill
connect you with my supervisor."
A women goes to the police station
about her missing dog. He say "you should give a
brief description about your dog".
She says one of his ears is missing,
one of his eyes is missing, one of his legs his missing
and his tail is half cut off. He asks for the dogs name.
She replies "lucky"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
To Build an Addition.
In order to give
the Crane Hardware Co. needed room, T. Regan will build
an extension on the rear of the building which they
occupy, thus making their building one hundred feet in
length. Work will begin immediately. This will add
greatly to the appearance of their store room.
Hunter to Resign.
Justice M. M. Hunter expects to resign
his office as justice of the peace as soon as his affairs
are settled up and will leave with his family for
Pennsylvania, where he will remain for some time in the
Allegheny mountains for his wifes health.
The official vacancy has been
anticipated by the aspiring ones, and several are after
the appointment to the place. The county court, which is
Popocratic in politics, will fill the position. Judge
Kilgore and Claude Berry are two of the most prominently
mentioned for the place.
of Tetanus Vaccine.
The Missouri Department of
Health and Senior Services (DHSS) has arranged
for emergency shipments of 1,300 doses of
tetanus-containing vaccine to be delivered to the
Joplin area today.
One thousand doses of the new
pertussis-containing vaccine (Tdap) will go to
the Jasper County Health Department and 300 doses
of tetanus-diphtheria (Td) vaccine will go to the
Joplin City Health Department.
Clean-up and repair during and
after a disaster present a greater risk of
injuries that can lead to serious infection. One
of the most serious is tetanus, also known as
"Lock Jaw," which can be deadly.
Tetanus infection is
preventable by vaccination.
You should get a booster dose
of tetanus-diphtheria (Td) vaccine if you have
not had a dose within the past 10 years.
You should also get a Td
booster if you are unsure of the last time you
received a Td shot. Anyone who receives a deep
cut or puncture wound during reentry and clean-up
activities should seek immediate medical
attention and ask about a tetanus-containing
County Jail Count
May 24 -
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Hindsight Is 20/20
As Matt Kenseth charitably
pointed out, had it not been for late caution
flags, his Roush Fenway teammate, Carl Edwards,
might have won the last two Sprint Cup races.
Kenseth, of course, could
afford to be understanding, since it was he, not
Edwards, who won the FedEx 400 at Dover
In spite of all the Monday
morning crew chiefs who have been insisting ever
since the checkered flag waved that Edwards,
Jimmie Johnson and Clint Bowyer collectively
botched the race, blew the victory, struck out
and fumbled the ball, its really much more
complicated than hindsight would seem to suggest.
In recent years, a certain
oddity gradually has become apparent. When the
strategic situation that decided the
seasons 11th Sprint Cup race arises, the
leaders are sitting ducks. Whatever they do
dictates what other drivers do. If the leaders
change four tires, the next group will either
change two, as in the case of Kenseth, or not
change any, which was good enough to secure
second place for Mark Martin.
As Johnson said, "I knew
we were outnumbered once we came off pit road,
and so many guys who had taken two or didnt
stop ... I knew we were in trouble."
If only he had known that
before he came off pit road ...
When the leaders stay on the
track, or change two tires, the next group
probably changes four. The situation at Dover
made it even more complicated. Rains had limited
practice. No one had really studied how much
faster four fresh tires were than two. In
practice, they ran with four tires that had been
placed on the cars at once. Until near the end of
the race, most everyone dutifully changed all
four tires during each visit to the pits.
Edwards, Johnson and Bowyer all
played it safe. They seemed to have the fastest
cars, so it would stand to reason that the best
way to keep it that way would be to complete the
race on fresh rubber.
What they perhaps didnt
realize was that Kenseth had a fast car, too. He
had just never quite been able to show it at the
front of the pack, largely because he had started
24th and spent much of the race trying to
establish track position. The fact that Johnson
had started first had much to do with the fact
that he led 207 laps.
But, said Kenseth, "I knew
one of the first three cars on the restart was
going to win the race. The rubber (from tire
wear) would build up (on the track) and make it
almost impossible to pass."
Kenseth quickly got past Martin
because he had the tire advantage. Bowyer,
Edwards and Johnson finished sixth, seventh and
ninth, respectively, because, once trapped back
in the pack, they couldnt get free of
Now it all seems crystal clear,
but it wasnt really a no-brainer until
everyone took his chances. Kenseth pulled out his
second victory of the season because he and crew
chief Jimmy Fennig made the right call.
Ive always thought I
had a pretty fair recollection. Back to
earliest childhood there are things that I
know happened and I can bring em up on
There are times that I do
have doubts, however. Ever now and then
I get to talkin to an old friend I went
to school with and theyll bring up some
incident that they claim I was involved in
and I dont have any idea what
theyre talkin about.
"Remember that time we
were out fishin and you slid down that
bank and into the creek?" I might say.
"We never went
fishin," comes the reply.
The fact that these lapses
in memory obviously arent just in my
mind is reassurin. But maybe it
wasnt fishin. Maybe we were quail
huntin. Anyway it sure is a good
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin..
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
My husband and I recently
purchased a new car. My husband refuses to run
the air conditioning in heavy stop-and-go traffic
or if we are sitting in the parked car. When I
ask him what the reason is, he says that since
the compressor for the air conditioning is
belt-driven, if there is no airflow into the
engine, the car will overheat. So Im
wondering why I see everyone else sitting in
their nice, cool cars with the windows up, but
their cars arent overheating. He has been
this way with all of his vehicles. We have a
vacation coming up with a 12-hour drive. Im
worried about long, HOT construction delays. --
RAY: Katie, we feel for you. We
really do. The reason you see everyone else
sitting in their nice, cool cars is because
theyre not married to your stubborn
TOM: Hes being overly
cautious. Far too cautious. For at least three
decades now, all cars have come equipped with
electric cooling fans. When the car isnt
moving and theres no wind being pushed
through the front grille, an electric fan now
comes on, independent of the engine, and makes
its own breeze for the radiator.
RAY: Thats why cars can
sit in traffic, even with the AC on, on very hot
days, and still not overheat.
TOM: In fact, most cars have a
second cooling fan, or a higher speed for the
cooling fan, that kicks in automatically whenever
the air conditioner is turned on, just to provide
extra cooling under hot conditions.
RAY: Now, there is a limit to a
cooling fans effectiveness. It never will
provide as much cooling air as you would get when
driving 65 mph on the highway. So if youre
stuck in traffic for a long time, and its
120 degrees out, an engine still can overheat.
But those are highly unusual conditions.
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