The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, May 4, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 219

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?. Kiwanis J.T. Prigmore Senior Charity Classic May 5th, 2011 Carthage Golf Course.

today's laugh

It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors’ favor, the home quarterback blew his top.

"How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter."

The official just stared.

The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. "What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!"

The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback.

The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"


I always wanted to be somebody, but I guess I should have been more specific.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Killed a Diamond Rattlesnake.

Yesterday while on a fishing expedition up Spring river near McDaniels’ mill Chas. Albaugh, the "well known paper hanger", killed a large diamond rattlesnake. The reptile was about four feet long and a couple of inches thick. Seven rattles and a button decorated his snakeship’s tail. The diamond rattlesnakes are said to be a great rarity in this vicinity. The reptile was pounded into a jelly by Mr. Albaugh.

A Pocketbook Lost and Found.

Mrs. G.C. Kellogg lost her pocket book containing $42 in the gutter in front of the First National bank this afternoon. Oran Henning picked it up and left word at the bank and stores near by. A half hour later Mrs. Kellogg recovered her property. She was fortunate to recover it, as not everyone would have been as honest in the matter as was Mr. Henning.

  Today's Feature

Birds Point Floodway Activated.

(PoliticMo) - In an effort to release pressure on a levee in Cairo, Illinois and other areas, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers activated Birds Point-New Madrid floodway late Monday evening, flooding more than a hundred thousand acres of Missouri farm land.

Major General Michael Walsh, commander of the Mississippi Valley Army corps, said the levee was enduring "enormous, unprecedented" pressure due to severe amounts of rain in the last week. The gauge at Cairo, Ill., surpassed the 61 feet required to activate the plan, said the Southwest Missourian.

U.S. Senators Roy Blunt, R., Claire McCaskill, D., and Rep. Joann Emerson, R., who represents the flooded region, wrote a letter to the Secretary of the Army Monday, writing,"To be clear, most understand that ‘activation’ of the floodway in effect, means ‘destruction’ of the floodway."

"Scores of homes, as well as 130,000 acres of productive property and public infrastructure, are within the path of destruction," wrote the Members. "We urge the USACE to dedicate all available planning resources to respond decisively, definitively, and immediately to give back the personal property, livelihoods, and public infrastructure that will be lost."

Missouri unsuccessfully litigated against the Corps’ decision to blow the levee, which Speaker of the Missouri House of Representatives Steven Tilley, R-Perry, told PoliticMo was "a bad situation with two bad choices."

Lt. Governor Peter Kinder, R., called on Missourians to pray for the victims of the flood, and noted the "courage" of farm families during the decision making process.

"As rains have continued to fall, making a bad situation even worse, the demolition of the Birds Point Levee was made certain this afternoon by announcement of the Army Corps of Engineers," Kinder said. "This drastic action is unfortunate for so many Missourians."

Kinder said he was "ready to assist" those effected in any way possible, and lawmakers called on the Corps to restore the floodway in full "without delay or red tape and without uncertainty or further hardship upon those who will inevitably suffer in the Missouri Bootheel."

Estimates say the floodway activation could cause $1 billion in property damage, and millions in lost revenue for farmers.

"The Corps’ decision today makes me heartsick for those who live and work in the floodway," said Rep. Emerson. "The certain damage to homes, buildings and productive farmland will take years to undo."

Just Jake Talkin'

It’s all over but the shoutin’. That’s one a those phrases that ever’one was aware of when I was growin’ up.

In general I’d have ta say it means the decidin’ is done. Nothin’ more to be accomplished, just the rumble that follows a lightin’ strike in the distance. But where the different meanin’s might be is dependin’ on whether you happened to be sittin’ under the tree the lightin’ hit, or if ya just happened to see the streak from your back porch.

From a distance, ya might be shoutin’ ‘bout how beautiful nature is in it’s wildest form. From under the tree, the shoutin’ would be more likely heard as a curse of such dastardly power and the wrath it brings to man. ‘

Course that brings us to the consideration that any shoutin’ at all doesn’t change the result.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


By JoAnn Derson

• "My dogs stay outside most of the day now, while the weather is so nice. We bring them indoors when it gets too hot, but for a treat, we will freeze a plastic cup of ice and then chuck the "ice block" on the porch. They lick at it and play with it. It’s like a little doggie water park when they are done." -- M.E. in Ohio

• Finding a summer camp for your kids can be a chore. Check with your child’s school and school friends for recommendations. Also, see if your city’s recreation department is holding any camps. Some county extension offices (agriculture department) offer camps. Many of these are reasonably priced. Don’t delay.

• "I have a tip for you. When pouring water into your coffee maker, use a 4-inch funnel, placing it in the tank. It helps to keep from spilling water. Pour slowly!" -- P.T. in Illinois

• "To keep the kitchen garbage can from smelling, put meat, vegetables, fruit and peelings in a bread bag, and put it in the freezer until you take it outside for the garbage collector." -- E.L. in Virginia

• "Keep fast-food coupons in your car’s glove compartment. They will be there if you need to drive through, and will be handy for picking up dinner on the way home. If you need them at home, chances are your car is there anyway!" -- F.D. in Alabama

• Got paper to recycle? More and more schools are recycling paper as a way to fundraise. Don’t have a kid in school? Drive by and look for a Dumpster or bin that’s labeled. Odds are good you’ll find one. If you don’t, ask!

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.