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laugh Husband: You must admit, that men have better
judgment than women.
Wife: Oh, yes. You married me, and I
married you.
Witness: Well, I think-
Lawyer: Don’t think! In this
courtroom you are to tell what you know, not what you
think!
Witness: Well, I’m not a lawyer. I
can’t talk without thinking!
Gall is when you borrow your pal’s
new car and call him a half hour later, saying,
"Your airbag works."
A woman wrote the Department of
Agriculture asking for advice on her chickens, who seemed
to be suffering from a strange ailment.
Every morning for the past month, she
wrote, I have discovered three or four of my hens lying
on their backs with their feet in the air. What’s
the cause of this?
A few days later she received a
telegram. YOUR HENS, it read, ARE DEAD.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Pacific Express
Company Responds.
The cry for help from suffering Texas
has been responded to by the Pacific Express company by a
donation of $500 in cash and a notice to all agents that
when train service is reestablished to Galveston the
company will carry free money and express parcels when
addressed to the mayor or a responsible relief committee.
This does not include heavy or bulky freight.
A young man by the name of Osborne came
over from Galena a few weeks ago to visit his
brother-in-law, Scott Rodeman of Kendricktown. While here
he was taken with an exceptionally severe case of typhoid
fever, and for awhile his life was despaired, but Dr.
Wise now reports him out of danger.
Mrs. Carrie Davis will entertain this
evening in honor of her guest, Miss Massey of Kansas
City.
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Today's Feature Nationwide
Emergency Altert Test.
As part of their ongoing
efforts to keep our country and communities safe
during emergencies, the Federal Communications
Commission and Federal Emergency Management
Agency will conduct the first nationwide test of
the Emergency Alert System (EAS). The EAS test
plays a key role in ensuring the nation is
prepared for all hazards, and that the U.S.
public can receive critical and vital
information, should it ever be needed. The first
nationwide test will be conducted Wednesday,
November 9 at 2 p.m. ET. This test may last up to
three and a half minutes, and will be transmitted
via television and radio stations within the
U.S., including Alaska, Hawaii, the territories
of Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and
American Samoa. Similar to local emergency alert
system tests, an audio message will interrupt
television and radio programming indicating:
"This is a test." When the test is
over, regular programming will resume.
On November 9 at 2 p.m. EDT,
please remember: Don’t stress; it’s
only a test.
Jasper
County Jail Count
? October 31,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I saw the other day that
they are gettin’ close to bein’
able to make artificial diamonds. Seems there
have been several companies workin’ on
this for a lotta years.
These aren’t some
glass fakes, these are artificially produced
at the molecular level makin’ it hard
for even experts to tell the difference. The
question is raised as to whether it matters
if they are real or fake if there isn’t
any structural difference.
I’m sure it matters to
those who dig up the real thing. But to the
ever’day consumer these days,
probl’ly not. To quote onea the Beatles
in the animated movie "Yellow
Submarine", "It’s all in your
mind." For most, I’d have to assume
the jewel is more of a symbol than an
investment. But then, even Bugs Bunny likes
carats.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
To Your Good
Health
By Paul G. Donohue,
M.D.
Take a Rest, My
Restless Legs
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I would like
to know more about restless leg syndrome. -- I.J.
ANSWER: Roughly 7 percent of
women and 3 percent of men suffer from restless
leg syndrome. That gives you a lot of fellow
sufferers. People describe it in many ways. Some
say it’s an aching in their legs. Others
describe it as a creeping-crawling sensation. No
matter how people express the feeling, it makes
them get up and move around. Activity lessens or
gets rid of the sensations, but they can and do
come back. They usually appear in the evening or
at night when people are sitting or when they get
into bed.
No one is sure what causes the
syndrome. Things that lessen its intensity and
frequency are cutting back on caffeine, stopping
smoking and exercising daily. Eliminating alcohol
is a most helpful remedy.
Sometimes restless leg syndrome
is associated with iron deficiency and the anemia
due to iron deficiency. Your doctor will want to
check you for that.
Pramipexole (Mirapex) and
ropinirole (Requip), both drugs for
Parkinson’s disease, are used for this
syndrome, even though it has no relationship to
Parkinson’s disease. They stimulate certain
brain areas that control movement. Levodopa,
another Parkinson’s medicine, also is
prescribed. There are others, should these fail.
Periodic limb movements of
sleep is another condition that frequently occurs
along with restless leg syndrome. It’s
involuntary movements of the legs and feet during
sleep. The kicking and jerking last about two
seconds and recur every 20 to 40 seconds. Often
the affected person is unaware of them. The bed
partner plays a nighttime role of being a
drop-kicked football and is quite aware of
what’s happening. The affected person is
quite tired during the day. The same medicines
used for restless leg syndrome can be used here,
too. Daily exercise might put an end to the
nocturnal movements.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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