| today's
laugh A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown
ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes
over and asks for their order. The man says,
"I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"
and turns to the ostrich. "What’s yours?"
"I’ll have the same,"
says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns
with the order. "That will be $6.40 please,"
and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact
change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich
come again and the man says, "I’ll have a
hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says,
"I’ll have the same." Once again the man
reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one
evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks
the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I
will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the
man. "Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes
with the order and says, "That will be $12.62."
Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket
and places it on the table.
The waitress can’t hold back her
curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you
manage to always come up with the exact change out of
your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man,
"several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and
offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever
had to pay for anything, just put my hand in my pocket,
and the right amount of money would always be
there."
"That’s brilliant!" says
the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million
dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich
as you want for as long as you live!"
"That’s right! Whether
it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other
thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?"
The man sighs and answers, "My
second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who
agrees with everything I say.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
SMALLPOX SITUATION.
Four
Cases—Quarantine for Exposed Patients Expires
Tuesday.
There are now four cases of smallpox at
the detention hospital - no more and no less. These four
have been reported. The first of these four in now
believed to be past the crisis. Two have comparatively
light cases and the fourth has a very severe case.
The gang quarantined in the
"shack" on North Main street, where it broke
out last, are all there yet, with no indications of any
of them getting sick. The time for their contracting the
disease will be up Tuesday, and if the weather turns bad
their quarantine period will be up before the house near
the hospital is finished.
W.D. Arnold and Will Rhodes drove out
to the mines on the Hood land east of Reeds Monday. They
report things very active there and everyone confident
that it is destined to be a great camp.
| |
Today's Feature Goodbye
McCune-Brooks.
The City Council voted 9-0 to
accept a lease agreement with Mercy Hospital for
the McCune-Brooks Hospital building. Mercy will
take over the operation on January 1, 2011. The
initial term of the lease is fifty years with
options for another 49 years. It also includes an
option for Mercy to buy the operation outright
after five years with the approval of voters in
the community.
The proposed agreement was
first made public during the last City Council
meeting and has seen little public opposition.
McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital
has struggled to meet bond covenants on the City
backed $40 million construction financing since
it relocated several years ago. The original
hospital building on Centennial Avenue is now the
new headquarters for the Carthage Water and
Electiic Plant.
CW&EP has invested
approximately $2.5 million in remodeling and
updating the structure and recently occupied the
building after being headquartered on the
Carthage Square for the last hundred years.
Jasper
County Jail Count
166 November 23,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
artCentral
ART NOTES from
Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
It seems like our holiday time
is here, as Thanksgiving is this week and we just
completed our first Candy House Building class
here at Hyde House this past Sunday afternoon. I
welcomed nine girls aged 8-13 to our gallery to
construct a gingerbread house each, covered with
candies and icing. Each girl designed a different
house, and in the two hours that they were here,
they individually assembled their houses on
decorative platters, decorating them with a
variety of candies and trims. We enjoyed
refreshments together, and at the end of the
afternoon each girl took home her house along
with additional supplies if she desired to
continue to work on her project. I also gave each
a copy of the guidelines and entry form for the
contest held by St. Lukes on December 8th to be
displayed at the Sassy Spoon downtown. Entries
are to be delivered on the 1st, and there will be
judging in both junior and senior divisions with
the houses available for auctioning later,
proceeds going back to the garden fund at
St.Lukes. Our leftover candy will be donated to
the Crisis Center. I will be closed this weekend
as we continue our exhibition with Theresa
Rankin’s beautiful oil paintings, but will
re-open the following weekend instead, that being
the first weekend of December. If you have not
had a chance to come by and view this beautiful
exhibition I encourage you to do so on one of
those three days, the 2nd, 3rd or 4th, and enjoy
our gallery which is decorated for Christmas! I
will host our annual board’s Christmas
luncheon on December 14th and that is always a
fun time to give back to my wonderful board of
directors. Happy Thanksgiving to all who are
reading today!
|
 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
The annual influx of
tourists and locals tourin’ the various
displays of lights and the historic district
has begun.
I don’t know if that
is part of the noticeable increase in
traffic, or if I’m just becomin’
more impatient as the days grow shorter.
With vehicles turnin’
their lights on earlier I’m
guessin’ I’m just noticin’ the
number of folks travelin’ here and there
as I try to make my way to the house in the
evenin’s.
‘Course I’m
talkin’ ‘bout that long five or ten
minute commute I make ever’day.
Prob’ly be quicker to walk, but ya never
know when ya might need ta get outa town in a
hurry. I suppose I will have ta take my
Christmas attitude adjustment and learn to
have a little more patience for the season.
There’s still the shoppin’ to do.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
|
| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply |
Weekly
Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
A couple of months ago, I
bought a used 2007 Tacoma truck from a Toyota
dealer. The truck had 53,000 miles on it. After
driving it for 5,000 miles, I took it to my local
mechanic for an oil change. He, being the good
mechanic that he is, checked the air filter. To
his surprise, there was no filter element in
there! He put one in and told me about his
discovery. My question to you is this: How much
damage could have been done to the motor in the
5,000 miles I drove it without an air filter? I
intend to tell the dealer, but first I’d
like to know what effects this missing filter
could have on the truck.-- Jay
TOM: Well, you could have lost
a few neighborhood birds in your engine, Jay. Or
maybe a Toyota Yaris.
RAY: Actually, you probably did
no damage at all, especially if you drove on
normal, paved roads.
TOM: The air filter really
protects the engine when you’re driving on
dirt roads, when dust and grit are surrounding
the car in a cloud and are being continuously
sucked into the engine.
RAY: Still, I agree that
it’s worth telling the dealer about it.
First, they made a mistake, and they should know
about it.
TOM: Second, you’ll solve
a mystery for them. For two months, some mechanic
has been wondering how he ended up with an extra
brand-new air filter still in the box.
RAY: And finally, it’s
reasonable to ask them for some kind of extended
warranty on the engine. Or at least on low
compression and burning oil. If you did suck some
grit into the engine and damage it during the
past 5,000 miles due to the dealer’s
negligence, you probably won’t know about it
for another 25,000 or 50,000 miles.
|
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
|