Andy came to work one day, limping something
awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked
Andy what happened.
Andy replied, "Oh, nothing.
Its just an old hockey injury that acts up once in
Josh, "Gee, I never knew you
Andy, "No I dont. I hurt it
last year when I lost $1,000 on the Stanley Cup
play-offs. I put my foot through the television."
Three surgeons were having a drink
after a busy day at work and were debating who was the
best to operate on. The first surgeon said "I reckon
Librarians are the best to operate on because their parts
are all in alphabetical order."
The second surgeon said " Nah,
Mathematicians are the best because their parts are all
The third surgeon piped up and said
" Nah, youre both wrong. Politicians are the
best. They have no heart, no guts, no brains and their
faces and arses are interchangeable!"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
THERE WAS LITTLE
The peaceful and pleasant home of Miss
Lizzie Slocum, 117 South Garrison avenue, was the scene
of momentary excitement about 10 oclock yesterday
morning, when a spark from the flue ignited certain
shingles in proximity thereto and for a little time
excited the quiet community and drew a large congregation
of those interested in the welfare of Mrs. Slocum, who is
a favorite in the neighborhood. The fire department
responded promptly and saved the property from damage.
Col. and Mrs. Smiley, Miss Clara White
and Mr. Leonard Hull, late of Auroro, Ill., who is
interested in the Pleasant Valley mines, are guests of
the house and are very grateful for the speedy response
of friends and fire department.
Col. Smiley said, as he saw the people
assembling in great numbers, "Behold how great a
matter a little fire kindleth!"
Small is Strong.
The Chamber of Commerce has
announced that nominations are currently being
accepted for the Small Business of the Year
Award. Customers, employees and community members
are encouraged to nominate businesses for this
The Small Business of the Year
Award will be presented to a local business that
has presented a positive image and has been a
vibrant entity within the Carthage business
community. Recipient must be a Chamber member in
good standing and have fewer than 50 employees.
Past recipients are ineligible
for nomination and include: Main Street
Mercantile, Oak Street Health & Herbs,
ServPro of Carthage/Joplin, Central Pet Care,
Clouds Meat Processing, Grundys Body
& Frame Shop, Stewards Frame Shop,
Block-By-Block Quilt Shop, Smith Midwest Realty
and Florette By Countryside.
Nomination forms are available
by contacting the Chamber office. Nominations
must be received by 5:00 p.m. Friday, December 2
to be considered.
County Jail Count
166 November 23,
Including Placed out of County
I grew up knowin the
value of a good 2 by. There was always a need
for a shelf in the garage or some gadget that
could be built with the scrap lumber out in
On visits he would pull out
a wood shingle and build me a whirly gig or
carve a flat, one dimensional "Buntline
special" hand gun.
Two by fours were great for
makin giant rubber band guns that used
slices of inner tube for projectiles. A few
good 2x12 stacked like stair steps made a
great car ramp for changin the oil.
Longer 2x12s made great ramps to jump
the bikes from.
Lumber meant you could
build things, a tree house, fort, a box to
keep campin gear in. All necessary
tools of an energetic youth. Course
gettin the "board" tempered
the enthusiasm some.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Q: I read somewhere that when
getting a home ready for sale, a person should
balance any doors that wont stay open. How
does one balance the doors? When I contacted a
handyman and asked if he would give me a price to
balance three doors, he didnt seem to know
what I was talking about. Please help. -- Edna
and Jim, via e-mail
A: "Balance" probably
means shimming up the doors so that they hang
straight on their hinges, allowing them to open
and close freely. But that doesnt guarantee
that the door wont swing shut on its own.
Houses sometimes settle onto their foundations at
a very slight angle, just enough that doors
opposite that angle will slowly swing shut on
A balanced door is a nice
touch, but personally, as a home buyer, a door
that swings shut by itself is not one of the
"big things" I would look for. I would
be more interested in how well-cared for the
interior and exterior look, and if the house is
right for my needs, because I can fix a poorly
hung door anytime.
If you must have balanced
doors, though, you can adjust their angle by a
few degrees using shims. A shim is just a thin
piece of wood or cardboard inserted behind one or
both hinge plates in the doorframe. The
difference in thickness repositions the hinge
angle just slightly to either lift or lower one
corner of the door.
To match the angle of the door
to the angle of the house, use a level (a
straight measuring tool with bubble indicators,
ideally for both vertical and horizontal
measurements). Mark the bubbles balance
point on both the wall next to the doorframe, and
on the hinge end of the door itself.
Using a helper, unscrew the
hinge plates from the frame and insert a shim
(trimmed the same size as the hinge) in either
the top or bottom inset, depending on whether the
doors angle needs to go up or down. Screw
the plates back on (the screws will go through
the shim material) and check the level again.
Balancing a door to match the
angle of the house this way will take several
attempts, which is why Im not sure
its worth the time spent. But if its
worth it to you, thats what is important.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.