The manager walks to the mound, ready to yank
the pitcher. The pitcher protests, "I struck this
guy out the last time."
"Yeah, but this is the same
The judge says to the defendent,
"I told you I didnt want to see you
The defendent says, "I told that
to the cop. He wouldnt believe me."
Sometimes it doesnt pay to pay
attention. I saw a sign that said stop, look, and listen.
I did, and a train hit me.
Theres a great new pasta
dietwalk past a bakery, walk past a candy store,
walk past an ice-cream shop. . . .
My wife says I have a terrible memory.
So far this year, Ive forgotten her birthday, our
anniversary, Valentine Day, and whos boss.
Geometrywhat the acorn said after
it grew up.
Then there was the guy who poured
margaritas in the birdbath. It was enough tequila
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BAKER WAS ACQUITTED.
Chas. W. Baker, the accused murderer of
Q.C. Weaver, was acquitted by the jury yesterday on the
The case was a hard fought one and has
created a great deal of interest all over the mining
district. Baker was defended by Hon. Howard Gray and John
Flanigan, of this city, who handled the case with great
ability. The case was decided yesterday at 6 p.m.
Must Pay Up.
Several merchants have been summoned to
appear before Judge McCune to answer why they have not
paid their merchants tax. The suits will be brought
by B.F. Hackey representing the county. A merchant from
Carthage, Carterville, Neck City and two from Webb City
have been summoned.
CAMPAIGN BEGINS NOVEMBER 8
Carthage R-9 School
Foundations 2011/12 Major Saver Card
fundraising campaign begins November 8 and runs
through November 15. Cards are only $10 each and
may be purchased from Carthage elementary, middle
school and junior high school students or by
calling the Carthage R-9 School Foundation at
Each participating school
receives a portion of the funds raised through
the sale of the Major Saver Cards. The discount
cards include special offers on purchases at 15
area restaurants and businesses and are valid
through November 1, 2012. Offering something for
everyone in the family, businesses featured on
this years card include Cabo del Sol,
Carthage Municipal Park Roller Rink,
Dominos Pizza, El Charro, Hardees,
Humble Pie and Blaizen Coffee, Iggys
Diner, Long John Silvers, McDonalds,
Oriental Villa, Pancake Hut, Shakes,
Sirloin Stockade, Sonic and Taco Town. The Major
Saver Card program would not be possible without
the support of these businesses and their
commitment to Foundation and Carthage students.
Carthage R-9 School Foundation assists the school
district in providing enhanced educational
opportunities for students and teachers. Since
the foundations inception, it has granted
funds to all Carthage R-9 District schools for
educational programs and classroom equipment, and
has awarded thousands of dollars in scholarships
to graduating seniors. For information about
Carthage R-9 School Foundation, call 359.7047.
County Jail Count
? November 2,
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
An Early Present
for Blaney, Baldwin
The finish of the Good Sam Club
500 was side-by-side, but third place was
Dave Blaney, driving the
underfunded Golden Corral Chevy for owner Tommy
Baldwin, took the checkered flag third, matching
a career best.
Blaney, who just turned 49, was
"We have to thank
(fourth-place) Brad Keselowski, who stayed with
us all day long, every lap," Blaney said.
"When you get somebody committed to you, no
matter what, it makes it a lot easier. Then
its just timing at the end.
"We were in the right
place at the right time, squeezed through a
couple holes, there you are."
The finish was worth $160,833,
a tidy sum for Baldwins struggling team.
"Its huge for a race
team," Blaney added. "Its a tiny
little team. This race car weve got, it was
a Bill Davis (owned) car in 2007 and 2008.
Its not a killer. Its a big, big
accomplishment for us to come out.
"This is a track where you
can do this. You can hang in all day. With Brad
Keselowskis help, we could hang in all day
and take advantage of getting a big push at the
right time. Thats what it comes down to
here, having a car that will roll the last couple
laps to do that. It all just worked out."
The autumn Talladega
Superspeedway race was the 393rd of Blaneys
career but only his fourth top-five finish. He
has two career poles. His best previous finish
this season was 13th at Richmond, Va., on April
While Bowyer, who won, and
second-place Jeff Burton were breaking away from
the pack, Blaney and Keselowski were advancing
from 14th and 15th in the races decisive,
"That was odd to see them
get that far away that quick," Blaney, from
Hartford, Ohio, said. "That is obviously
what made it a different kind of race. ...
Its exciting racing, whether its
tandem or packs, stressful on the drivers,
exciting for the fans."
I was reminded the other
day about a lesson by the author/teacher
Peter Drucker. If youre not familiar,
he may be considered the most knowledgeable
management type person around.
He thinks there are three
things management must always be concerned
with, productivity, liquidity, and tomorrow.
Unfortunately tomorrow doesnt lend
itself to be easily calculated to the bottom
line. There are some things that are at best
an educated guess.
todays dollars are effectively spent
while keepin an eye on tomorrow can be
tricky, but havin some type of plan may
help the City retain the quality of life
weve grown accustomed to.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
My husband was driving our
Yukon on the highway (cruise control set on 70)
when he passed out. He was in the left-hand lane
of four lanes, so I reached over and turned off
the ignition and steered to the left shoulder,
and then to the grassy median .
I finally drove into a large
road sign that dipped down and then back up,
causing the car to finally stop. Then I took my
seat belt off and called 911. Did I mention that
I was screaming at my husband the whole time? (I
thought he was dying.) My question for you: Was
there anything else I could have or should have
done? -- Jimmie Jo
RAY: Well, the first thing you
should do is make sure your husband never listens
to our radio show again. He obviously has a hard
time staying awake as it is.
TOM: You did very well under
the circumstances, Jimmie Jo. So congratulations
for keeping your wits about you and getting the
vehicle to a safe stop. Great job.
RAY: For next time (which we
hope there isnt), well give you a few
TOM: Turning off the engine
isnt our first choice -- either for a
medical emergency like this or for unintended
acceleration. When you turn off the engine, you
lose your power brakes and power steering. That
can make it harder to control the car --
especially from the passenger seat.
RAY: So, in a case where
youre on a highway and you have plenty of
room to stop, you should reach over and shift the
transmission into Neutral. Thatll allow the
car to eventually roll to a stop, but will allow
you to steer easily.
TOM: We trust that by now your
husband has recovered, and that youve
figured out what caused him to lose
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