| today's
        laugh Uncle John came to stay, and before he left he
        gave his nephew five dollars. "Now be careful with
        that money, Tommy," he said. "Remember the
        saying, A fool and his money are soon
        parted." 
        "Yes, Uncle," replied Tommy,
        "but I want to thank you for parting with it, just
        the same." 
          
        A minister asked a little girl what she
        thought of her first church service. "The music was
        nice," she said, "but the commercial was too
        long." 
          
        Boss- "Theres $10 gone from
        my cash drawer, Johnny; you and I were the only people
        who had keys to that drawer." 
        Office Boy- "Well, spose we
        each pay $5 and say no more about it." 
          
        Wedding Guest- "This is your
        fourth daughter to get married, isnt it?" 
        MacTight- "Ay; and our
        confettis gettin awfu gritty." 
          
        Avenue- "I avenue baby
        sister." 
         
        1911 
         
        INTERESTING MELANGE.  
        A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.  
        A Tie Game At Lamar. 
        Carthage and Lamar High school teams
        played a 0 to 0 game of football yesterday at the Lamar
        fair grounds. The boys came home this morning sounding
        the praises of the Lamar people and reporting a square
        deal on the football field. "The best treatment we
        ever had in our life," declared the team in chorus. 
        The game was witnessed by a small crowd
        which just about paid the expenses of the visiting team.
        The first half was a stand-off, but the second half ended
        with the egg-shaped ball so close to the Lamar goal line
        that had it been turned endways the ball would have been
        a Carthage touchdown. The referee was the squarest and
        fairest our boys ever saw. He was a Lamar man, formerly
        from M.S.U. The best work for Carthage was done by F.
        Moore, W. Wood, D. Parker and Nichols, a Joplin boy. A
        great feature of the game was Lamars end tackling. 
        
            
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                Today's Feature Greene County
                Extension Programs in Jeopardy. 
                SPRINGFIELD, Mo.  The
                budget proposed by members of the Greene County
                Commission cuts the annual allocation to the
                Greene County Extension Council to the state
                minimum of $10,000 for 2012. That reduction puts
                the local office, which provided educational
                programs for over 25,000 people during 2010, in
                jeopardy according to Greg Whitlock, chairman of
                the Greene County Extension Council. 
                "Our best projection is
                that with this current reduction, the office will
                have enough money to operate for another 12 to 14
                months," said Whitlock. "A cut of this
                size will cause a significant reduction in
                services here in Greene County. For two years we
                have pulled from our reserves to fulfill our
                mission after the Commission cut our budget by 72
                percent." 
                University of Missouri fully
                funds the salaries, benefits, training, and
                computer support, for the five specialists
                headquartered in Greene County. County funds are
                used to pay for two administrative assistants and
                office expenses like the telephone, copies,
                office supplies, some postage and travel for
                specialists conducting programs. 
                 
                Jasper
                County Jail Count 
                173 November 29,
                2011 
                Total
                Including Placed out of County 
                 
                 
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                Just Jake
                Talkin' 
                Mornin',
                    Ive been seein
                    several versions of an email that is
                    reminiscent of the "good ol
                    days." Baby boomers seem ta be
                    lookin back at what they consider a
                    simpler time. 
                    Seems most view the
                    nostalgic time as a pleasant one.
                    Course we all heard stories
                    growin up by parents and grandparents
                    bout how it used ta be. The difference
                    is their stories were tempered by a couple a
                    world wars and the great depression. The
                    boomers were sheltered from a good portion of
                    such experience. 
                    Overall the parents of
                    boomers musta done a fair job of raisin
                    their kids. They seem ta have a good share of
                    fond memories. Hopefully the second
                    generation boomers find a few good memories
                    ta hang on to also. 
                    This is some fact, but
                    mostly, 
                    Just Jake Talkin. 
                 
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                | Sponsored by
                Carthage Printing | 
                 
                Weekly
                Column 
                HERES A TIP  
                By
                JoAnn Derson 
                 This year, some friends
                and I came up with the brilliant idea of having a
                Christmas card swap. We all have leftovers from
                years gone by, but we cant remember whom we
                sent them to. We got together for coffee and
                swapped leftover cards. One of the group is very
                computer savvy, and she had us bring our address
                books so she could print labels for us. Its
                wonderful, and we expect to do this for as many
                years as we can. 
                 Recipe Substitutions: If
                you need 1 cup of self-rising flour, use 1 cup of
                all-purpose flour plus 1 1/2 teaspoons baking
                powder and 1/2 teaspoon salt. 
                 Whats on sale in
                December: Candles, loss-leader items (ask for
                rain checks when available) and after-holiday
                sales on cards, decorations and small gifts. 
                 Need an emergency
                ornament hook? Unfold a paper clip to get a hook
                on either side. Hang away! 
                 "I just got a big
                batch of baby clothes from a friend. Many of them
                were stained around the neck, and I thought they
                would be mostly unusable, but my mom came over
                and soaked them in hot water and OxyClean. It was
                amazing. Almost all of the stains came out! The
                moral of the story is: Trust Mom and dont
                give up on stained clothes." -- T.K. in
                Alabama 
                 Just a reminder: The
                American Dental Association recommends replacing
                your toothbrush every three to four months. As
                the bristles get frayed, its effectiveness is
                reduced. So while you are out shopping for
                friends and family, pick up something for
                yourself! 
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        Publishing. All rights reserved.      
           
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