The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, October 13, 2011 Volume XX, Number 82

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...The Nazarine Church will host an American Red Cross Blood Drive Thursday, Oct. 13 from 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. 200 Grand, Carthage.

today's laugh

We have the laziest rooster. In the morning, he waits for another rooster to crow, and then he nods his head.


A man is brought in for stealing a pair of shoes. The judge says, "Weren’t you here last year for the same charge?"

"How long can a pair of shoes last?"


This young man climbs a ladder and taps at his girlfriend’s window. They are planning to elope. The girl comes to the window and whispers, "Don’t make so much noise. You’ll wake my father."

The boy says, "You don’t have to worry. He’s holding the ladder."


I’ll give you an idea of how cheap he is. Last week, he and his wife went to the mall with the baby.

His wife went in to shop, and when she got out, she looked and said, "It’s not our baby in this carriage."

He said, "I know, but these wheels are better."


"He not only lied to me about his yacht, but I had to do most of the rowing."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Thief Caught in the Act.

Chas. Scott, the merchants’ night policeman, discovered a man attempting to get out with a sack of flour at the back door of Richardson & Co.’s grocery store at about midnight last night.

The officer was at the time making his rounds to try all doors, seeing if they were properly locked for the night. As he approached the Richardson store the thief broke and ran, leaving the sack of flour sitting just inside the door.

The man would not stop when commanded, and Scott sent a shot after him, but he was dodging zigzag fashion and the shot did not take effect. It was thought someone else was inside the store, but later investigation proved noone there.

An examination this morning shows that the would-be thief made his entrance into the store by pulling a cleat off the door jam, and then sticking a knife through a crack in such a way as to work back the inside bolt.


  Today's Feature

Judgment Against Joplin Landlord.

Attorney General Chris Koster announced he has obtained a consent judgment against a Joplin landlord for alleged price gouging and other violations in the aftermath of the May 22 Joplin tornado.

Koster said David Box, Jr., rents out apartments at Northside Apartments and Classic Townhouses. Following the May 22 tornado, Box notified tenants that their rent was being raised and required that they contact him within three days or their rental unit could be leased to someone else.

Koster said his office received complaints from 13 renters who had received the notice from Box. In one instance, a renter was notified his rent would go from $475 per month to $595 per month, a 25 percent increase. Two other renters were notified their rent would go from $475 to $550 per month, a 16 percent increase.

Koster said Box is ordered to provide restitution to those harmed by his actions and send them a letter of apology for using duress in a time of tragedy, and to pay a $5,000 civil penalty and all court costs. Should Box violate any terms of the judgment, he will be assessed an additional $5,000 penalty.

Jasper County Jail Count

188 October 12, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County



By Monte Dutton

A.J. Allmendinger Has ‘Kingly’ Goals

A.J. Allmendinger earns the interest of thousands of fans just on the basis of the No. 43 on the side of his Ford Fusion.

"43" is the number made famous by Richard Petty, the owner. Petty won a record 200 races carrying that number. No one else ever come close to that total, and it’s almost unthinkable that anyone will ever approach it. It’s among many reasons why Petty is uniformly regarded as NASCAR’s King Richard.

Allmendinger, 29, came reasonably close to making the Chase for the Sprint Cup. He moved up from 15th to 14th in Sprint Cup points after finishing seventh at Dover International Speedway in the AAA 400. To date, the Los Gatos, Calif., native has collected one top-five and seven top-10 finishes during the current season.

The one-time Rookie of the Year in the ChampCar World Series (2004) began competing regularly in NASCAR in 2007. He finished third in the 2009 Daytona 500.

Allmendinger’s goal, obviously, is to restore Richard Petty Motorsports to the position of royalty enjoyed by Petty. Teammate Marcos Ambrose picked up a victory earlier this year at Watkins Glen, N.Y.

"The Chase doesn’t define our season," Allmendinger said. "If we get to Homestead (Fla., site of the final race) and are a lot better than we were last year, I’ll be happy with that."

Regarding his performance at Dover, he said, "You just want to put yourself in that position, but we weren’t quite good enough to win. Depending on what call and where you restarted, I think we might have been top-five there at the end."

The race began disastrously but also spectacularly. After his Ford was bumped from behind by Denny Hamlin’s Toyota, Allmendinger made a spectacular save, keeping the car out the Dover walls and recovering.

"Denny had a nose right there, but it was lap four," Allmendinger said. "Those guys would expect you to give them some room, but he just stuffed it down in there and jacked me sideways. It was no surprise, and as I started spinning toward the wall, I just hammered the throttle. I didn’t think it was going to hit the wall, but then I was afraid that everybody behind me would come piling in.

"I’d like to say it was all driver, but luckily, I tapped the brake and kept it on the throttle, it straightened back up to where I didn’t stop in front of anybody and, thank God, everybody behind us was alert and kind of got it slowed down. I’d say it was 60 percent driver and 40 percent luck. I’ll give myself a little bit of credit."

Just Jake Talkin'

Sometimes technology is really scary.

I was walkin’ up to a convenience store the other day and I heard this voice.

"Attention. This car is backing up!"

At first I thought it was the gas pump talkin’ to me. They’ve scared me a few times too, but the sound was closer than that.

Then I realized I was behind a large van that was creeping toward me. How’d it know?

After gettin’ out a the way, I’m figurin’ the thing just automatically does that when the backup lights come on, but maybe there is a tiny camera watchin’ out for us pedestrians, makin’ sure we don’t end up in harms way. Either way, in this instance it worked, however it works.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



I do not have an air conditioner. "So what?" you say. "There are many cars on the streets without any air conditioning, most of them old, rusted-out beaters." But I have a 2010 Chevrolet Cobalt, base model XFE. My boss bought it for me because he couldn’t pass up a $6,000 brand-new car.

So now I am driving hell on wheels ... literally. It would be one thing if I lived in Alaska or Siberia. But I’m in the middle of the country, where temperatures were regularly 95 this past summer. The dealer wants $2,500 to install air conditioning. Are there any cheaper alternatives? Thank you so much, guys. I am truly grateful. -- Thomas the "Roast Duck"

TOM: Unfortunately, there are no really good alternatives, Thomas. Because almost nobody buys a car without air conditioning these days, your car doesn’t even come with vent windows.

RAY: They had to unload this car for $6,000 because it sat on the lot for almost two years and no one gave it a sniff. And the only reason your boss bought it is because he knew HE wouldn’t have to drive it.

TOM: Fortunately, your car is pre-wired and -ducted for air conditioning, even though there’s no air-conditioning equipment in it. All cars come that way now. And $2,500 is about the right price.

TOM: One way or the other, you should reason with him, Thomas, and ask him to rectify this situation. Remind him that he’s still getting a great deal. Even with the AC, he’s getting a new car for $8,500.

RAY: So tell him that his credentials still will be excellent. He’ll still be able to walk into any cheapskate convention with his head held high.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.