"Some people would kick anywhere but in a
football game," snorted the restaurant
proprietor,"I cant see what them epicures has
got to complain about with this soup."
"They wouldnt have no grouch
coming sir," explained the waiter, tactfully,
"if only the cook would admit its soup. He
says its coffee."
The astronomy professor was lecturing.
"I predict the end of the world in fifty million
"How many?" cried a
frightened voice from the rear.
"Fifty million years."
"Oh," said the voice with a
deep sigh of relief, "I thought you said fifteen
"Dear Emily," he wrote.
"Words cannot express how much I regret having
broken off our engagement. Will you please come back to
me? Your absence leaves a space no one can fill. Please
forgive me and let us start all over again, I need you so
much. Yours forever, Bob.
"P.S. - By the way,
congratulations on winning the lottery."
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Crippled Woman
Dr. Snyder, county physician, today
sent a crippled woman named Scott to the poor farm.
According to the story furnished by the neighbors, the
unfortunate woman was abandoned by relatives, who did
reside in a small house on Smelter Hill. The crippled
woman lived with a family named McCullum, said to be her
parents. Yesterday they moved to some unknown clime and
left the poor crippled woman alone with no fire and
nothing to eat. Neighbors discovered the poor
womans condition and provided her something to eat.
Today they reported the case to Dr. Snyder, who ordered
Mrs. Scott sent to the county farm.
T.V. Porterson, a traveling
representative of the Standard Oil Co., is in town today.
He has heard of the oil indications northwest of Carthage
and in Avilla vicinity, and is said to be here to
investigate the same.
Minutes of Fame Contest Winners
The Chamber of Commerce offers
its congratulations to the 45th Annual Maple Leaf
Three Minutes of Fame Lip Sync Contest winners.
This years contest was sponsored by
Grundys Body & Frame Shop.
The following was released by
"In the Adult Division
first place went to Atomic Tan for their
"Chain of Fools". "Single
Ladies" brought Lydia Vasquez, Katie Short
and A.J. Lutz second place and St. Lukes
Nursing Center took third place with "Let Me
Call Out Bingo".
In the Junior Division Natalie
Gilliam and The Wedding Party took first place
with "White Liar". In second place was
Elizabeth Poe with "Popular". Third
place went to the Carthage Jr. High 7th Grade
Leadership Council for "Footloose".
Mya Schrader won first place in
the Youth Division with "We Are Who We
Are" and "Why Cant We Be
Friends" brought Maxyne Bennett second
Thank you to Emcee Cheryle
Finley and Judges Tracy Asbell, Libby Peck, Chris
Horine and Maple Leaf Grand Marshal Frank
County Jail Count
192 October 114,
Including Placed out of County
I was out drivin in
the rain the other day, thinkin what a
hassle it was. Course it was good ta
have the moisture after the long dry spell we
had this summer, it was good to see a good
long soakin rain rather than it all
comin in a few hours.
As I was feelin sorry
for myself havin to be gettin a
little wet gettin in and out of the
truck, I see this guy walkin down the
street. Soaked to the bone, but
acceptin the fact was makin his
way. I pulled over and found he was a high
school student on his way back to school.
Gave him a ride, but only a few blocks. As I
pulled out from droppin him off, a kid
gets outa his car with an umbrella. He sees
me and stops and turns a little and the wind
catches his rain stopper and blows it up. The
kid gets soaked. My day wasnt so bad
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Carthage Printing Services
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Snake? Whats That?
Q: One thing my uncle
recommended when I moved into my recently
purchased house is something called a
plumbers snake. Just what is that? I
presume its for getting into pipes or
something. -- Tammy in Des Moines, Iowa
A: Youre right, Tammy, it
does have something to do with getting into
pipes. Specifically, a plumbers snake --
more professionally known as a hand auger -- is a
handheld tool used for clearing clogs in drain
Using the hand auger takes a
little bit of practice. Its not hard to
use, but youre fishing blind through the
drainpipe, and figuring out the difference
between a bend in the pipe and the actual clog
can take a few tries. So, for example, lets
say youre clearing a clog in a sink drain.
Youve either removed the trap (the U-bend
pipe under the sink) or, if the trap has this,
unscrewed the bolt at the bottom of the trap and
let the water drain into a bucket. But the clog
doesnt clear (meaning its a little
further back in the drain line). With the trap
removed or the drain bolt unscrewed:
--Loosen the auger lock (the
bolt sticking up at the feeder end of the auger)
and feed the cable into the drain line.
--When you meet resistance,
find out if youre simply at a bend in the
pipe. Feed out a few inches more cable so you
have some extra sticking out of the pipe. Tighten
down the auger lock. Slowly turn the auger handle
clockwise, pushing slightly. If its a bend
in the line, the resistance will stop and you can
continue feeding cable.
--If the resistance
doesnt let up, you may have located a clog.
Turn the handle a few more times to try and snag
the clog material. Then, loosen the auger lock.
Continue turning the handle clockwise to reel in
--If you meet solid resistance
and then the cable slowly feeds in, with
continuous resistance, you likely have a soap
clog. Slowly continue to bore through the soap
clog until resistance lessens. Then, retrieve the
cable by loosening the auger lock and turning the
Once youve taken care of
the clog, reconnect the trap. Run hot water
through the pipe, which will flush out loose
debris or help break up that soap clog.
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