| today's
laugh My mother is so passive-aggressive. She says
things to me like, "You just can’t seem to do
anything right, and that’s what I really love about
you." Laura Silverman
I find that ducks’ opinion of me
is greatly influenced by whether or not I have bread. Mitch
Hedberg
I went into a general store. They
wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically. -Steven
Wright
I play tennis and I’m pretty good,
but no matter how much I practice I’ll never be as
good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg
My dad didn’t like people as much
as he liked his car. He even introduced it to people.
"It’s my Bonneville," he said. "My
family’s over there."
Then he went on, "It’s an
American-made car. You can drive it head-on into a train
and live." That was my cue to mutter, "You
ought to try that, dad. The seven-fifteen’s coming
around the bend."
Louie Anderson
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
SYCAMORE STREET
BRIDGE.
The Sycamore street bridge over the
Missouri Pacific railway has been completed and Mayor
Harrington, Street Commissioner Eness and City Engineer
Edwards drove out this morning, inspected the work and
accepted the structure in the name of the city.
It is one of the largest and best
bridges of the kind in the city and is the culmination of
a twelve year fight with the Missouri Pacific railway to
get a bridge built at this crossing, which is the last
one where such a structure is necessary.
The city council recently requested
that the graded approached to this bridge be rounded up
in the middle, thus giving proper drainage at each side
of the road, but the contractor already had the
approaches graded flat, and as it was according to the
specifications previously accepted by the city, the
change could not be required.
The Missouri Pacific not only built
this bridge, but have to keep it in repair.
.
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Today's Feature Maple Leaf
Parade Float Winners
Leggett and Platt took the
Sweepstakes Award which is granted to the
"most outstanding" unit of the parade
for portraying the theme, showing exceptional
artistic value and overall outstanding
workmanship and exceeding all other parade
entries.
The Chamber’s Choice Award
was given to Carthage Health and Rehabilitation.
This award is granted to a float that promotes
the Carthage area and effectively portrays the
image of the festival.
Butterball won the Artistic
Achievement Award for having a float that
surpassed all others in artistic value and
creativity, both in uniqueness of the idea and
the materials used and for outstanding
workmanship.
The Community Image Awards are
given to the best decorated units entered by
non-profit organizations that promote goodwill
and community pride. These floats are judged on
theme, creativity, attractiveness and
workmanship. This year’s adult award went to
Carthage Church of Christ. The youth award went
to 4-H.
The Freeman Ozark Center took
this year’s Special Recognition Award which
goes to a unit the judges feel merits extra
recognition.
Jasper
County Jail Count
198 October 18,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I see there was a recent
study that say folks aren’t gettin’
enough sleep these days. I suppose such a
study would have interested Tom Edison, who
reportedly got through his life sleepin’
‘bout four hours a night and a couple a
cat naps durin’ the day.
Some research indicates
that sleep is more of a mental rest that
allows the brain to shut down for a while.
This gives the gray matter time to sort
through all the junk that gets crammed into
it durin’ the day, sort out the stuff it
needs ta keep, and sluff off the trash.
‘Course cat’s
might have the right idea. They sleep about
ninety percent of their life. I suppose if
all humans had ta worry about was a portion
of MeowMix and a clean cat box, we’d get
a lot more sleep too.
This some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’
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Carthage Printing Services |
Weekly
Column
Halloween can be a spooky good
time for children and adults alike, but the cost
of costumes can be downright scary. When I was a
child, my brother and I dressed as a pirate and a
gypsy, respectively, for several years, as they
were costumes that could be put together using
things you might find around the house. This
week’s focus is on inexpensive or FREE
Halloween costumes. Happy Halloween!
• Most anyone can come up
with a ghost costume (basically, a white sheet
with eyes cut out and cut off at the bottom so
itÕs not too long). How about dressing up that
ghost with costume jewelry and makeup, or a
mustache/beard drawn on, with a tie and carrying
a briefcase labeled ÒScare CorporationÓ? Use
hats or other dress-up accessories to make Dr.
Ghost or Officer Ghost. The possibilities are
endless.
• A basic scarecrow needs
only a flannel shirt, a pair of jeans and socks,
a floppy hat and some straw. Stuff wadded-up
plastic bags into shirt or pants to fill, then
use rubber bands to secure straw at the cuffs.
Paint on a funny face. (Thanks to J.R. in
Illinois.)
• Be an over-the-top
tourist: A loud Hawaiian-style shirt paired with
a pair of shorts, perhaps socks with sandals?
Carry a camera on a strap around your neck. Use a
small carry-on bag as your treat bag, or decorate
a paper sack by gluing on squares cut from a map.
• Be Static Cling! Use
safety pins to pin a variety of small items to
your outfit -- think socks, scarves, even a pair
of undies if you dare! Tease hair until it's
standing straight up, and use hairspray to keep
it that way.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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