The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, October 20, 2011 Volume XX, Number 87

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...Singles Reaching Out (West) will meet at ElCharro, on Oct 28 for dinner at 6 p.m. Come and bring a friend. Info 388-3038 or 246-5604.

today's laugh

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin


"How has your potato crop turned out, old chap?" asked one ardent amateur gardener of his neighbor.

"Splendid, old man," replied the other; "some are as big as marbles, some as big as peas, and, of course, quite a lot of little ones."


You see you have to be careful in that hotel - when you turn on the hot water faucet cold water comes out. And when you turn on the cold water faucet hot water comes out. But it doesn’t make any difference.

Why not?

There’s no hot water.


A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. -Marty Allen


You know you’re never more indignant in life than when you’re shopping in a store you feel is beneath you and one of the other customers mistakes you for one of the employees of that store. Dennis Miller


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Check Ten Years Old.

During the past week a check was cashed at one of the Carthage banks which, on account of the time which has elapsed since it was drawn is of more than passing interest. The check was signed by Dr. F.W. Flower in favor of Dr. J.A. Carter and was tendered in payment of office rent ten years ago. Dr. Carter misplaced the check and forgot all about it until it accidentally came to light a few days ago. It was presented at the bank upon which it was drawn and as Dr. Flower is still doing business with the bank at which it was presented it was readily paid.

Rev. J. S. Porter and wife of Knobnoster, Mo., arrived Wednesday evening to spend three or four days with their son, J. P. Porter, night operator and clerk at the Missouri Pacific depot. Mr. Porter is a superannuated Methodist minister of the St. Louis conference and has many friends here.


  Today's Feature

Police Blotter.

10/18/2011 @ 4:25 a.m., Jamie D. Hodges, 34 of Osage Beach, MO, was arrested for Trespassing 1st at 13304 Locust Road in Jasper County. Sheriff’s Deputies and Carthage Police Department were at the location attempting to locate Hodges. Earlier in the night, the Carthage P.D. was involved in a pursuit and the vehicle wrecked at CR 137 and Locust Road. The driver fled on foot from the scene. Further investigation lead Deputies to a barn at 13304 Locust Road where Hodges was located. He was transported to the Carthage Police Department. Hodges also had a warrant from the Newton County Sheriff’s Office for probation violation and a warrant from Camden County Sheriff’s Office for fraud. The owner of the barn was contacted and he advised he didn’t know Hodges and he did not have permission to be on the property.

The charges for which the above were arrested are mere accusations and are not evidence of guilt. Evidence in support of the charges must be presented before a court of competent jurisdiction whose duty is to determine guilt or innocence.

Jasper County Jail Count

194 October 19, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County



By Monte Dutton

Danica, Danica! Wherefore Art Thou, Danica?

Every time I come to a NASCAR track and Danica Patrick is there, an old Elton John song comes to mind, only with new words.

And ... the same words.

"Danica, Danica, Danica ... Danica, Danica, Danica ... Danica, Danica ..."

Danica is not "alright for fighting." She’s considered "alright for NASCAR," though. In fact, for some reason, she’s considered instrumental in making stock-car racing grow. She’s just there, always there, on every tongue and, in some ways, for no reason.

Oh, by the way, she’s a woman. A very attractive woman. Men enjoy seeing very attractive women. Male sportswriters apparently enjoy writing about them. Women rally around other women. Thus are the currents that swirl around and eventually form the perfect storm.

Patrick’s detractors tend to blame all this on "the media," that worldwide whipping post used to describe anything an individual opposes. But they don’t read our mail. They don’t realize that the fascination with Patrick extends far beyond the doors of media centers and press boxes.

In her time, many considered Amelia Earhart a third-rate aviator with a natural gift for promotion. Some things change, and some don’t.

"Hey, dude, you, like, married a woman, right?"

Eventually, she will have to perform. For right now, though, all she has to do is "perform," if you catch my drift. She’s a fresh face in the garage area. And that’s not all. Don’t be crying "sexist" now. Patrick has starred in about a dozen commercials designed to soak that charge in hypocrisy. She plays her looks with both the tumult of drums and the subtlety of violins. Her song is nothing if not well arranged.

No one ever forgot about Earhart because she disappeared while trying to do something truly remarkable and, quite possibly, foolhardy. Patrick isn’t about to disappear.

Had Earhart not aspired to fly around the world -- had she settled into a career of barnstorming at county fairs, or even into a spokeswoman, an Eleanor Roosevelt of the aviation set -- she would have faded away a bit.

For now it’s sufficient for Patrick merely to compete, to test the water. Next year, when she competes full-time in the Nationwide Series, she’ll have to get more than her toes wet.


Monte Dutton covers motorsports for The Gaston (N.C.) Gazette.

Just Jake Talkin'

You’d think there wasn’t anyone wantin’ a plain old potato chip. Even the corn chip folks are puttin’ out a fancy version of the old standby.

‘Course comin’ up with some new snack food isn’t new, they’ve been addin’ cheese to ever’thing in a sack for some time.

‘Member those little barrel shaped corn snacks with a fillin’? I haven’t seen them for a while. They were supposed ta be the snack of the future.

My favorite weird snack was those "space sticks." Supposed ta have ever’thing ya need to sustain life in space I guess. I think they sent the last package of those on that probe that crashed on Mars. Prob’ly for the best.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



I have a 1993 Subaru Loyale 4-wheel-drive wagon. The transmission-fluid dipstick has broken off the cap. The stem is down the fill tube beyond where I can reach it with a telescoping magnet. I tried to grasp it with a long pair of hemostats, but was unable to get far enough down to grasp it. Tape back-wrapped on a piece of wire was not sticky enough to get it out that way, either.

Is the car safe to drive? I purchased a replacement cap/dipstick and can check the level, which is fine. I’m worried that driving it will end up pushing the broken piece into the transmission. Any idea how to remove it, or how much money it will take to have a shop do it? -- Ken

RAY: You’re worried about a broken dipstick on a ‘93 Loyale, Ken? Isn’t that like worrying about the barnacles on the Andrea Doria?

TOM: Actually, if you have an automatic transmission, you have nothing to worry about, Ken. Since the dipstick’s lateral movement is confined by the tube, the end of the stick is just going to sit there on the bottom of the transmission pan, where it won’t bother anything. There are no gears or anything in that part of the automatic transmission, and the stick can’t go anywhere.

RAY: So if it’s an automatic, just use your new stick to keep an eye on the fluid level, and otherwise forget about it.

TOM: On the other hand, if you have a manual transmission, then you need to remove that thing. There’s nothing BUT gears in a manual transmission, so the stick could get chewed up by the gears and ruin your transmission AND your differential.

RAY: And if tube gets damaged during removal, you can buy a new tube for very little money.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.