| today's
laugh A cameraman is asked how he has remained just a
cameraman after so many years. He explains, "When
you start a picture, there are all kinds of meetings. One
day I was so sick of going, I got a monkey, put some of
my clothes on him, and let him go to the meeting. Now
that monkey is running a studio, and I’m still a
cameraman."
Yesterday I was walking down the street
wearing my eyeglasses and all of a sudden my prescription
ran out.
— Steven Wright
The technological advance I wish I
could get is an addition for my answering machine, a
Get-to-the-Point button.
— Alicia Brandt
I was in Texas and it was so dry people
were putting stamps on envelopes with pins. I saw a tree
chasing a dog. I cried, and three people started to lick
my face.
"It looks like rain," said
the boarding house hasher as he set a bowl of soup in
front of one of his boarders.
"Yes it does," he replied,
getting a whiff of it, "but it smells a little like
soup."
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Buggy Damaged in a Collision.
Elmer Knight and a boy named Kyle had a
colt get away from them yesterday afternoon while driving
it to a breaking cart. The colt dashed wildly up Grant
street and collided with a buggy from which Miss Blanche
Griswold had just alighted. She was in the act of tying
her horse to a hitching post between Sixth and Seventh
streets, when the collision occurred and she was unhurt.
The buggy was damaged to the extent of $15 or $20. The
run away horse was caught shortly after striking the
buggy.
She Would Use
"Those Lazy Prisoners."
A Carthage woman on a muddy street
crossing was heard to suggest that the crossing ought to
be kept clean. "Some of those lazy prisoners might
be put to work," said she, "if there is no
other way."
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Today's Feature Creation Of The
Southwest Missouri Joint Municipal Water Utility
Commission.
The City Council is scheduled
to meet tomorrow evening in City Hall for their
regular meeting at 7:30.
The agenda includes a scheduled
vote on an Ordinance authorizing the Mayor to
enter into a contract with other municipalities,
public water supply districts and other public
sector entities of the State of Missouri to form
a Joint Municipal Water Utility Commission
described as follows:
"The purpose of this Joint
Contract and of the Commission created hereby is,
generally, to develop water supply sources,
facilities related thereto and the necessary
water supplies required to meet the needs of the
Contracting Members and the inhabitants they
serve, in the most economic and feasible manner.
It is the intent of the Contracting Members to
organize the Commission on a regional basis to
efficiently provide for a potable water supply
and the production, joint purchase and
distribution arrangements to produce and
distribute safe drinking water to all or a part
of the potable water requirements of the
Contracting Members in the most economical and
efficient manner.".
Jasper
County Jail Count
? October 21,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
They say the trick to
rabbit huntin’ is to have a dog that
never quite catches up to the rabbit. The
furry little critters have a habit of
runnin’ in a big circle and comin’
back to cross their tracks. The idea is to
confuse any varmit that is chasin’
‘em. The hunter is supposed to stay put
and wait as the dog works his way through the
hedge rows. Eventually, the theory is, the
rabbit will come back by for an easy shot.
Havin’ a dog, as a
kid, and always thinkin’ that rabbit
huntin’ would be great sport, I went in
search of the wascally wabbit. Unfortunately,
the dog had not read the sportin’
magazine that I had. He’d take out after
the rabbit all right, but eventually I would
have to go find the mut out sniffin’ in
a rat nest or barkin’ at some squirrel.
‘Course there is a
chance that the rabbit wrote the real story.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Column
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Closing Up for
Winter
Q: Last year, I placed weather
stripping inside my home’s window frames and
the door. Yet I still feel that the house is
drafty, and my heating bills didn’t really
go down. Is there more that I can do? -- Frank
L., Burlington, Vt.
A: You should do a home energy
audit (or home energy assessment) this fall,
before winter closes in, to find out if and where
heat is escaping from your house. This can be
done using a do-it-yourself kit -- often
available through your utility company at a
reduced price -- or by hiring a professional.
Professional auditors often use
a blower door as their primary tool in hunting
down sources of air coming into the house. The
blower door is a fan unit that attaches to an
exterior door, and includes a unit to measure air
pressure inside the house. The door lowers the
air pressure inside the house; then, higher
outside air pressure means air will enter the
house through unsealed openings and cracks. The
auditor hunts down these entry points.
Ask the auditor if the blower
door is calibrated or not. A calibrated blower
door can provide additional information on how
airtight the home is.
Another tool in the
professional auditor’s arsenal is the
thermographic scan. Using this, he or she can
determine whether your home needs new insulation
and where exactly that insulation needs to go.
Proper insulation can go a long way toward
reducing energy costs, particularly in older
homes.
To find a professional auditor,
contact your utility company or visit its
website. Ask friends and neighbors if
they’ve had an energy audit, and get
recommendations from them. Contact several
auditors, and ask if they use a calibrated blower
door and whether they do thermographic scans. Get
a written estimate before allowing any work to be
done.
HOME TIP: Closing off unused
rooms in winter and shutting the air vents in
them can help reduce heating costs.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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