The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, October 27, 2011 Volume XX, Number 92

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...Singles Reaching Out (West) will meet at ElCharro, on Oct 28 for dinner at 6 p.m. Come and bring a friend. Info 388-3038 or 246-5604.

today's laugh

Do you find that advertising brings quick results?

I should say it does. Why, only the other day we advertised for a night watchman, and that night the safe was robbed.


My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that’s why."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Gang and Gambling Cases.

Officer Reno captured Jim Hurt who was fishing near the upper bridge Saturday. He was one of the gang who beat W. H. Smith over a month ago.

He pleaded guilty to assault and battery, but after hearing both his story and Mr. Smith’s, Justice Woodward remanded him to jail under suspended sentence until his companion, Will Perry will be tried, and the degree of his guilt ascertained. His sentence will then date from today. The third of this gang is still hiding out, and the police are keeping a lookout for him.


D. E. Seighman of Joplin today settled the fines and costs for himself and two assistants—Ben Clark and a Japanese man by the name of Bautzman. The entire sum came to over $122. These men were arrested for gambling at the market fair.

  Today's Feature

Flanigan Awarded.

State Rep. Tom Flanigan, R-Carthage, was presented with the Legislative Friend of Public Health Award from MoALPHA (Missouri Association of Local Public Health Agencies) at the recent Joint Annual Public Health Conference in Columbia. Flanigan was awarded for his legislative support on local public health.

MoALPHA announced that Flanigan received the award for his involvement and vocal concerns for local public health. Rep. Flanigan showed commitment in the 2011 legislative session by supporting funding for local public health agencies during a time when virtually all other programs were being reduced. His actions lead to local agencies receiving level funding.

"With so many competing interests across the state, the budget process is certainly not an easy one," said Rep. Flanigan. "It is, however, relatively easy to be supportive of local initiatives that are better able to focus on the consumer. I’m honored that MoALPHA chose to recognize me in this way, and look forward to continuing to be supportive of local solutions to local problems."

The Legislative Friend of Public Health Award recognizes a legislator, current or past, or any staff member of a legislator who has worked to improve public health by sponsoring or supporting legislation and/or budget initiatives that strengthen the public health system in Missouri. Tony Moehr, administrator of the Jasper County Health Department, nominated Representative Flanigan for the award.

Jasper County Jail Count

? October 26, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County



By Monte Dutton

The Ebb and Flow of Jimmie Johnson

CONCORD, N.C. -- Think the Chase for the Sprint Cup varies week to week? Consider the extreme example of the driver who has won the past five championships.

Jimmie Johnson offers evidence of how the NASCAR title format punishes mistakes more than it rewards successes.

Finishes of 10th and 18th in the Chase’s first two races left Johnson 29 points behind Tony Stewart, who won them both. Then Johnson finished second at Dover and first at Kansas, pulling to within four points of the lead, now occupied by Carl Edwards.

Johnson crashed at Charlotte in the Bank of America 500, resulting in a placing of 34th. As a result, he is now eighth, 35 points behind Edwards. The point system changed this year, and each point has a greater value. Comparing point totals of 2010 with those of the current year, the gap between Edwards and Johnson, 35 points, is the equivalent of about 90 under the previous format.

Five races remain. Johnson’s bid for a sixth straight title is in jeopardy, but he is far from conceding.

"We just have to go racing," he said. "That’s all there is to it. There are five races left, and right now all we have are those five races.

"Definitely not the night we wanted. This is not going to help us win a sixth championship. I promise you, this team and myself, we won’t quit. We will go for every point we can from here on out, and hopefully we are still champions at the end of the year."

The volatility is obvious in everyone’s results except Edwards, who has finished eighth or better in each Chase race (ninth or better in his last eight, dating back to the regular season), and Kevin Harvick, who has finished 12th or better in the Chase events. At the top, they are five points apart.

The last four positions in the Chase standings are occupied by drivers in considerably worse situations than Johnson. Dale Earnhardt Jr. is 60 points out of the lead, followed by Ryan Newman (-61), Jeff Gordon (-66) and Denny Hamlin (-86).

Just Jake Talkin'

I’ve always heard the old sayin’ that opinions are like belly buttons, ever’body’s got one. The other slant on that I tend ta like better is that opinions are like armpits, ever’body’s got a couple.

Now a lotta folks don’t think their opinions are any more worthwhile than the next. That seems ta be a pretty healthy attitude. Throw them ideas out there and kick ‘em around. Someone might pick up on a mediocre idea and run with it, turnin’ it into somethin’ no one else would a thought of.

The real problems arise when someone seems ta think there can be only one opinion, and they’ve got it.

There’s always more than one way ta look at any particular situation. It’s the arguments that sometimes don’t always make sense. Either way it’s an interestin’ proposition. A lot more interestin’ than armpits.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



I had the "opportunity" to watch my car fall off a flatbed tow truck last night in the middle of Brooklyn.

I’m waiting on a phone call from the towing company as to what’s next, but should I even try to repair a car that fell about five feet off a flatbed tow truck? If so, what kind of damage should I be sure to check for? Since it was dark and I could not see the car very well, all I could see was major damage to the front end, and the radiator was all bent out of shape. I’m assuming the towing company will just look to repair it the cheapest way possible, and I don’t want to have problems in a few months. -- Joe

TOM: I can tell you how it happened, Joe. The driver forgot to attach the safety chains. Or forgot to secure them. When you flatbed a car, you chain the chassis to the bed of the truck so the car doesn’t what? Fall off while you’re driving!

RAY: Obviously, the front end of your car got bashed, Joe, but the real question is whether the frame got bent. If a frame is bent badly enough, it can never be adequately restraightened. If that’s the case, you can’t align the wheels, and it is, essentially, junk.

TOM: So the most important thing to do now is to have someone who is advocating for YOU inspect the car. If it were me, I’d either have the car towed to my own dealer (by some other towing company!) or call my insurance company.

RAY: And then let the insurance company pay for the repair. It’ll chase the towing company to recoup the money.

TOM: And don’t be surprised if your insurer declares the car a total loss.

TOM: But if the insurance company declares it totaled, I’d accept that news stoically, and start over with a car that hasn’t tried to learn to fly. Good luck, Joe.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.