An Antartian died and went to heaven. When he
got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him in order to
gain admittance a prospective soul must answer three
1. Name two days of the week that begin
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is Gods first name?
The Antartian answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin
with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
3. God has two first names, and they
are Andy and Howard."
Saint Peter said, "OK, Ill
buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though its not the
answer I expected, but how did you get 12 seconds in a
year, and why do think Gods first name was either
Andy or Howard?"
The Antartian replied, "Well,
January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
"OK, I give," said Saint
Peter, "but what about the Gods first name
"Well, from the song....Andy walks
with me, Andy talks with me,..., and the prayer...Our
Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...."
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
"Suckers" Had a Reunion at Lakeside.
There was no rain to interfere with the
Illinois picnic at Lakeside today. The day was ideal, but
there was not so large a crowd in attendance as had been
expected, owing doubtless to the fact that many who
prepared to attend last Thursday and were prevented by
the rain would not make a second attempt today.
About 11 oclock the crowd in the
pavilion - probably 200 in number - was called to order
and after music by the glee club composed of C.N.
Spencer, Ed Ogden, Chas. Sirkcosky and Chas. Spencer an
excellent address was made by Rev. R.H. Fry of Carthage a
former Illinoisan. Rev. Mr. Frys remarks referred
especially to the attainments of Illinois citizens. He
dwelt chiefly upon the careers of Lincoln and Lovejoy but
he spoke also of U.S. Grant, Francis E. Willard and
others. He was frequently applauded. At the conclusion of
his address there was again music by the glee club, after
which adjournment was taken for dinner.
Picnic dinners were enjoyed at various
spots on the shaded lawn of the park, after which the
picnicers gathered in little groups and exchanged
Illinois experiences. In many instances people who had
known each other for years met today and for the first
time learned that each were former Illinoisans. Some
Illinoisans were present who have within a week cast
their lot in Jasper county. There was not a
"sucker" present who was not ready to sing
praises of Illinois but the consensus of opinion was that
Jasper county is a more favored spot and a better place
in which to live.
The crowd was more than doubled by
those who came out after dinner. R.D. Calkins, who was
chiefly instrumental in getting up the Illinois picnic,
called the assembly to order and after songs by the glee
club, excellent short speeches were made by W.L. Aaron of
Joplin, J.W. Layne, C.H. Stewart and R.D. Calkins, of
The register for the Illinois picnic
shows 216 families, representing nearly every county in
the state who have taken enough interest in the picnic to
enroll their names. A permanent organization was
effected, of which R.D. Calkins was elected president.
Other officers are being chosen at hour of going to
Largest Build in
Executives with ABCs
reality TV show, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
has stated that the shows upcoming build in
Joplin will be one of the largest in the history
of the popular program. Led by Southwest Missouri
home builder Sam Clifton, president of Millstone
Custom Homes, the October Joplin project will
build seven homes in seven days for families who
suffered losses in the May tornado that destroyed
much of the city. The weeklong Extreme build will
begin in Joplin on October 19.
"Thousands of people in
Joplin and from across the country have contacted
us to donate, volunteer and support this massive
effort to help rebuild Joplin," Clifton
said. "We are so grateful to Pastor Brad
Gray and the members of Calvary Baptist Church,
for their generous support."
Organizers also recently
announced that the episode featuring the Joplin
build will be featured, as the shows 200th
To volunteer, donate, or learn
more about the project, visit:
County Jail Count
? September 30,
Including Placed out of County
It was brought to our
attention by several callers that the
Mornin Mail didnt mention that
there would be a parade for the Maple Leaf
Festival this year. If this caused some
discomfort for our readers were sorry.
With all the activities to be listed, I
suppose we just took the parade for granted.
As with any list we
probly left out other important
activities, though less obvious to most.
We do get ta feelin a
little lonely at the office now and then and
its good ta know that folks do still
pay attention to our efforts to inform the
community of whats goin on.
Keep those calls
comin, even if its just ta say
what ya wanna hear about. Its all news
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Q: Last week while moving
furniture, my sons accidentally shoved an end
table against the wall and punched a hole in it.
How can I fix this? -- Charity in Lansing, Mich.
A: Ouch! Fortunately, drywall
holes are not too expensive a proposition in
terms of repair. You can even get your sons to
help, turning an accident into a learning
For supplies, youll need
a power drill (for driving screws), a putty
knife, a drywall/wallboard saw, a box cutter or
drywall knife, drywall tape (a type of mesh
tape), a drywall repair patch (a large,
self-sticking mesh that can be cut to fit),
drywall compound, sandpaper and matching paint.
If the hole is pretty large --
more than a couple of inches in diameter -- you
will need a spare sheet or piece of drywall (also
called wallboard in some places), as well as
scraps of plywood and drywall screws.
Larger holes need more support
than a plain mesh can provide, so youll
need to replace the damaged drywall. Using a
ruler and pencil, draw a square around the edges
of the hole, giving about a quarter inch of space
from each jagged edge. Next, carefully cut away
the drywall, following those lines. Now you have
a clean square to work with.
Next insert those spare plywood
strips. These go behind the drywall hole,
providing a backing for your drywall patch to
attach to. Hold each strip in place and drive a
drywall screw through the drywall about 1/2 inch
above the hole and 1/2 inch below.
Next, cut your drywall patch to
fit the hole. It actually needs to be a tiny bit
smaller than the hole, about 1/8 inch, so the
patch blends better. Press the patch against the
plywood backing strips and drive screws through
the patch, two at the top and two at the bottom,
and into the backing strips.
Finally, blend the patch in.
Run mesh drywall tape over the edges of the patch
so that it covers the gaps. Then, smooth drywall
compound over the mesh tape, feathering into the
wall (you dont have to put compound over
the center of the patch). Finish the same way as
described for the smaller patch.
HOME TIP: If sanding drywall
compound creates too much dust, try smoothing
using a damp sponge or wet sander, then let dry
completely before painting the area.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.