Addressing his students, the medical professor
said, "Now notice how the muscle of the
patients leg is contracted until it is now much
shorter than the other. Therefore, he limps. Now
students, what would you do in such circumstances?"
Student, "I would limp, too."
How much is your hamburger steak?
$2.25 a pound.
But at the corner store it is only
Why dont you buy it there?
Because they havent any.
Oh, I see. When I dont have it, I
sell it for $2.00 a pound.
An Easterner was being driven by a
rancher over a blistering and almost barren stretch of
West Texas when a strange bird scurried in front of them.
Asked what it was, the rancher replied, "Thats
a bird of paradise."
The stanger from the East rode in
silence for a moment, then said, "Long way from
home, isnt it?"
Bob: Do you believe in mind reading?
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
JACK INSIDE CITY
R. A. Bowen, the well known drill man,
has just made a fine strike of jack in his last drill
hole on the Harding land in the 5th ward along the
Missouri Pacific track. He has a third interest in a
lease on 56 acres - eastern capitalists holding the other
two-thirds and has been quietly pegging away for the last
month finding plenty of mineral in three drill holes,
saying nothing about it.
The fourth hole reached 170 feet this
week working in what will undoubtedly prove pay dirt from
58 feet down. This was such a fine strike that Mr. Bowen
could not continue his plan of secrecy so the story came
A reporter visited the ground this
morning and easily washed out a handful of the ordinary
drillings which contain probably 30 per cent of clear red
jack. The land is owned by the Granby Mining Co. and H.
H. Harding and has never been prospected before.
The Maple Leaf Festival
Committee and the Carthage Convention and
Visitors Bureau are accepting applications
from Carthage residents for the Maple Leaf
Festival Lighting Contest. As with the original
campaign in 1967, Carthage residents will be
encouraged to decorate yards and businesses to
illuminate and celebrate the changing of the
season. Prizes will be awarded and the displays
will be available for public viewing during the
Maple Leaf Festival, October 8-16, 2011.
"This year we are
switching it up a bit and adding a day viewing
category," says Wendi Douglas, Carthage CVB
Director. "Carthage has been voted a
beautiful city time and time again and
highlighting the area in the fall seemed a unique
opportunity for visiting leaf lovers."
The displays must be within
Carthage city limits and available for judging
and viewing October 8-10, 2011. Applications are
available at the Carthage Chamber of Commerce and
must be received before October 7, 2011. First,
Second and Third Place winners will be chosen in
day and night categories. First place winners
will receive a garden plaque for year round
County Jail Count
? October 5,
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Stars Align for
A fairly common script device
applied to Tony Stewart and, for that matter,
Clint Bowyer, in New Hampshire.
In the race a year earlier,
Bowyer won largely as a result of Stewarts
car running out of gas at the end. The fortunes
reversed this time.
"Its amazing it
happened like that," Stewart said.
"Clint was one of the first guys who called
last year, and as happy as he was (that) he won
the race, he knew how disappointing it was for
"You dont want to
win them that way, and you dont want to see
guys lose them that way. This is a sport where
guys have a lot of respect for what happens and
how it happens. Having a win get away from you
that way is disappointing for anybody."
People talk about irony all the
time. Most of the time, its coincidental,
not ironic. Irony has been in place on the Sprint
Cup circuit recently, however.
It wasnt long ago that
Stewart, frustrated and dejected, all but wrote
himself off, questioning whether his team even
belonged in the Chase. The turnaround -- and a
rather pleasant need to eat his words -- occurred
"It happened in a
week," Stewart said. "We went from five
laps down at Bristol to running third at Atlanta
the next week. No, you dont see it coming.
Its not like we say, OK, this is what
happened, this is whats wrong and this is
what you have to do to fix it.
"There have been races
where we just missed it, couldnt get happy,
couldnt get the car happy. There have been
races where weve had a top-five, top-three
or winning car and something stupid happened. ...
The potentials been there all year. You
wonder when the bad luck is going to stop."
No more wondering now.
The question is whether Stewart
can now avoid the erratic nature of his regular
season for the remainder of the Chase. If
anything can temper the optimism associated at
the moment with a bid for a third championship,
its that Stewart figured to do well in the
first two races, based on his record at
Chicagoland Speedway and New Hampshire Motor
Stewart has proven ever since
he first climbed into a stock car that he can win
anywhere. The chief issue from here on out will
be whether or not his No. 14 Chevy can win
anywhere. Stewart can be his own worst enemy. As
a general rule, however, its not when
hes behind the wheel.
In victory lane, an exultant
Stewart spoke of how he had gotten rid of some
"dead wood" at Stewart Haas Racing.
When asked about it later in the media center, he
turned surly and wouldnt discuss it.
Earlier, his crew chief, Darian Grubb, had said
he didnt know what the boss was talking
about, and Stewart retreated a bit by saying no
one had lost his or her job in the wood cleaning.
Who knows? Maybe it was a
rotting stack of cedar out back.
Whatever it was, it
I havent heard any
official statistics, but Ive gotta
think that moren half the population of
the City has this cold/flu thing. Whatever it
is, it seems ta spread through a family or
workplace fairly easily.
Sniffles, coughin and
generally miserable feelin seem ta be
the standard. It seems ta last at least a
week and most seem ta hang on longer. It
doesnt seem ta be confined to this
area, I know of several outa state folks who
have been workin through the same
thing. Course Ive talked to some
who say they never get sick, but this thing
got em. Those of us who havent
been hit yet are gettin a little ill
just figurin our times a
At the first sign, Im
gonna take my traditional steamin bath
and load on the blankets. Sometimes it works.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
I observed in a recent VW
commercial that the car has a feature that
automatically unlocks the doors at the time of a
collision. I was always taught that locked doors
make the car structurally stronger. Why would a
manufacturer create this feature to unlock the
doors at the time of a crash? -- Mike
TOM: Locked doors dont
make a car structurally stronger, but CLOSED
doors do. And locking the doors makes them more
likely to stay closed in a crash.
RAY: The federal government has
set safety standards for door latches that are
quite strict. So doors almost never open anymore
due to the force of the crash itself.
TOM: But the one weak link is
the door handle and the rods that it connects to.
If your car is moving very fast at the time of a
crash, the inertia can move that handle or the
rods it attaches to in the door, and that can
unlatch the door -- as if youd pulled the
RAY: But if a door is locked,
the handle becomes inoperative. You can pull on
it or push on it, but its detached from the
rods that activate the latch, and the door
TOM: Thats why its
recommended that you keep your doors locked when
youre driving. And why many cars
automatically lock the doors when you start
RAY: VWs crash-response
system is designed to shut off the ignition
switch, cut the fuel-pump relay, turn on the
hazard lights and unlock the doors. And all this
stuff is activated the moment the air bag and
seat-belt pretensioners deploy -- which is during
TOM: It would make more sense
for VW to program in a delay, so that the doors
unlock a few seconds later, presumably after the
vehicle has come to a complete stop. After all,
first responders are fast. But theyre not
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.