The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 Volume XX, Number 61

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. The Family Literacy Center, 706 Orchard is holding English Classes 9-11 AM and 7-9 PM $20 per semester - No Child Care available 358-5926. Clases de Engle’s Empiezan -No hay guarderian.

today's laugh

There was this doctor who was severely overworked, which bothered him a lot as he wasn’t able to care for his patients as he would have wished. So, using his professional knowledge, he cloned himself.

For a while, this arrangement worked really well. The patients couldn’t tell which was the original doctor and which was the clone, and everyone received a much better level of care. But then things started to go wrong. The clone doctor began to make lewd and suggestive comments to female patients and even came close to a serious sexual assault.

The doctor decided that before things went from bad to worse he had to get rid of the clone. So he lured him up to the top of a tall building and pushed him off, killing him. He thought his problem was solved, but the following day the police arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.


What kind of little girl was your Mom?

" I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Not More than 100 Cars this Year-General Conditions.

"The berry season is practically at an end," says Sarcoxie Tribune. "Up to and including Wednesday evening, the Horticultural association had shipped 82 cars and Gandy people 5, and with about 3 cars today makes a total of 90 cars of berries shipped in car lots. A few straggling car loads will continue to go out probably up to next Monday, but it is not likely that 100 cars will be shipped.

"Taking the season through, prices have undoubtedly ruled higher than last year, and many of the growers will doubtless make more money than last year, but for pickers and those engaged in other lines of business, the season has not proven so profitable.

  Today's Feature

Art During the Maple Leaf Festival

The Carthage Convention & Visitor’s Bureau and UMB Bank will host the Maple Leaf Art Walk on the Historic Carthage Square. They are gearing up for their October Event. The event will be Friday Oct 14th 6:00-8:30 p.m. and Saturday October 15th 10:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m., with a special "After Hours" at Koka Gallery Friday from 8:30-10:00 p.m.

Those who visit the Carthage Art Walk on Facebook by Friday, September 16th at 12:00 noon and share Carthage Art Walk with their friends and obtain 200 "likes", will qualify for a drawing for an Art Walk prize pack including prints from Lowell Davis, a cookbook and postcards of Historic Carthage!

New to this year’s Maple Leaf Festival, it give the opportunity to celebrate art on the Carthage Square, a prime backdrop with several established galleries located around the square along with dining options and live music.

For more information, contact Wendi Douglas at the Carthage Convention and Visitor’s Bureau, 417-359-8181 or"

Jasper County Jail Count

193 September 13, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

There is prob’ly not a more accurate classic quotation that the one from "Cool Hand Luke." Most will know what it is without bein’ told, but for those youngsters that happen ta be readin’ it is "What we have here is a failure to communicate."

Nothin’ causes more problems, litigation, divorces, and just down right cantankerous attitudes than a failure to understand what’s really goin’ on.

Now the character in the movie didn’t mean that ever’one was gonna sit down and discuss what was botherin’. What he was sayin’ was folks just weren’t payin’ attention to what he was sayin’. I’ve heard its always a good idea ta have the person you’re talkin’ to repeat what you’ve said just ta make sure they understand. ‘Course as they say, there’s always time ta fix what there wasn’t time ta do right the first time.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


By JoAnn Derson

• "I love to have sauteed, sliced mushrooms, and I use my egg slicer to get perfect slices. It’s very handy and much easier to use than doing it with a knife." -- K.P. in Arizona

• To make your own ammonia-based pretreatment for laundry stains, mix together equal parts water, liquid detergent and ammonia in a spray bottle. Never use with bleach.

• You can use a soft cloth dampened with vinegar to clean greasy stains off of suede shoes. This also works on patent leather.

• To shorten children’s shoelaces, tie to appropriate length, then cut off excess. Dip the ends in clear nail polish. Wait a few minutes for the polish to get tacky, then roll between your fingers.

• "To clean plastic, vented hairbrushes, just stick them in the dishwasher. You also can put toothbrushes in the dishwasher periodically." -- E.L. in Michigan

• "If you or your child has a wood splinter, soak the finger/toe in icy water. The water swells the wood, making it easier to remove, while the iciness numbs the area, making it less painful." -- R.D. in Oregon

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.