The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, September 15, 2011 Volume XX, Number 62

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. The Family Literacy Center, 706 Orchard is holding English Classes 9-11 AM and 7-9 PM $20 per semester - No Child Care available 358-5926. Clases de Engle’s Empiezan -No hay guarderian.

today's laugh

Ways To Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

3. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

5. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

6. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

7. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

12. Wear a special hip holster for your

remote control.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Held Up Near Wichita Saturday Night-

Two Suspects Under Arrest.

The east bound passenger train on the Frisco, which reaches Carthage at 5:37 a.m., was held up and robbed Saturday night at Andover, a small station about ten miles east of Wichita, an account of which will be found in the dispatches on another page. The express car alone was robbed, the passengers not being disturbed.The two men who did the work first rode into the town and robbed the ticket agent, securing about $90, all of which with the exception of about three dollars, was personal property of the agent.

After robbing the agent they started out to flag the train. The agent had given the alarm as soon as they had left and a citizen of the town, Mr. Fordwell, attempted to give the train crew warning, and was shot by the robbers.

  Today's Feature

United Way Kick-Off.

Carthage Area United Way will kick off their 2011/12 Campaign Thursday, September 15th with a luncheon at the Broadview Country Club.

Invited guests including Pillar Givers, Volunteers, Advocates and Agency representatives will be the first to view the new campaign video and Dr. Greg Goetzinger, Volunteer Campaign Chairman will introduce his campaign cabinet members along with announcing the campaign goal amount.

Generous sponsors for this event include: Arvest Bank, Hometown Bank, Southwest Missouri Bank and UMB Bank.

The Carthage Area United Way helps support 14 Agencies. These agencies include ACHE Dental Clinic, American Red Cross, Boy Scouts, Carthage Crisis Center, Carthage Crosslines Ministry, Cerebral Palsy of Tri-County, Children’s Haven of Southwest MO, Children’s Mercy Hospital, Family Literacy Council, Girl Scouts, Jasper County 4-H, Lafayette House, Carthage Salvation Army and Special Olympics.

Jasper County Jail Count

189 September 14, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County



By Monte Dutton

Gordon Gets One Back

It’s so easy to get all misty-eyed.

Jeff Gordon outdueled Jimmie Johnson -- his teammate, friend, protege and nemesis -- to win the rain-delayed AdvoCare 500 at Atlanta Motor Speedway. Since Johnson first roared into the NASCAR spotlight in 2002, the two have competed together in 352 Sprint Cup races. Johnson has won twice as many (54-27) and finished ahead of Gordon in 55.1 percent. Johnson has won five straight championships, and Gordon hasn’t won any. His four all were before Johnson arrived.

When Johnson arrived, everything changed for Gordon. It’s so tempting to proclaim, while awash in sentimentality, that happy days are here again.

They may be, but it’s been 10 years since Gordon’s fourth championship, and the Chase hasn’t even started. He doesn’t have Johnson on the ropes, and others have just as much a stake in dethroning the perennial champion.

No one has Johnson on the ropes. He’s finished in the top 10 in five straight races, fourth or better in four of them and second in two of the last three. Oh, by the way, he’s the points leader.

All of that having been noted, the Tuesday race, run at shortly after 11 a.m., with millions of fans at work and nestled in neither recliners nor grandstand seats, was a great memory for those who’ll have one. In NASCAR, seldom has so much been witnessed by so few.

Gordon had that Jimmie Johnson Sinking Feeling and somehow managed to shake the fever. A winner of 85 races has been in a lot of parades, few of them on Tuesdays, and it appeared as if Johnson was going to rain on it. But Gordon held on, against all expectations, and it was a grand and righteous spectacle.

"Not too many people get to do that these days, and I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it, either," said Gordon, and the "that" translated to "beating Jimmie Johnson."

Meanwhile, Johnson’s hands were reportedly trembling when he climbed out of his car.

"Man, that is what racing is all about," he exclaimed "That was a lot of fun."

Gordon held on by his wits, for dear life, with all he had and by the hair of his chinny-chin-chin.

If he holds off Johnson for 11 more weeks, it’ll be magic. If Johnson wins again, it’ll be expected.

Just Jake Talkin'

I’d have ta guess that most parents are near ready for the kids ta get back ta gettin’ a good learnin’. At least the idea of gettin’ back on the somewhat regular schedule of it all has ta be a matter of a relief for most.

From my understandin’, summer vacation from school was originally put in place so that kids could help out on the farm durin’ the harvest season. ‘Course that was when over 90% of folks ‘round here depended on the land for a livin’. Now that less than 2% of the population lives on workin’ farms, some have suggested keepin’ kids in school year ‘round. There are prob’ly some good arguments for such a set up, real logical type arguments. I figure there are some things that are better learned outside the school settin’. Baseball, fishin’, and bicycle ridin’ for instance. Guess I’m just a traditional guy.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



I just got word that my 2005 Prius, with 110,000 miles, needs a new hybrid battery. I got the car new, and it’s been well-maintained, but the battery has not given us the 150,000 or 180,000 miles that we had hoped we could get out of it. Our dealer is willing to replace the battery pack with a new one for $3,500 (another dealer would charge $3,995).

I’m not sure if a "used" battery makes sense for a Prius, and I’m not sure if we could find a non-dealer with the experience necessary to do the replacement. Does it make sense to move forward and put a new battery pack in the car? We just finished paying for the car, so essentially, we’ll be buying a known entity for $3,500, but it’s a bitter pill! Your suggestions? -- Daphne

TOM: Doesn’t that frost your shorts? The warranty for the battery pack is 100,000 miles, and yours keels over at 110,000.

RAY: Well, the first thing you should know is that certain states have adopted what are called California Emissions Rules. If you registered your car in one of those states, you’re in luck. Because in those states, the Prius battery warranty is automatically extended to 10 years or 150,000 miles.

TOM: So if you bought your car in California, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania or Maine, go back into your dealership, toss ‘em the keys and say call you when it’s done.

TOM: If not, then you’ve got two choices. One is to buy a used battery pack from a Prius that’s been in an accident. That’s a lot cheaper, and it may work out fine for you.

TOM: Because the Prius batteries have been so good, there are not a lot of places that do this. So your best option, in the end, may be a new battery pack. And $3,500 is about the right price.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.