today's
laugh On the street definitions:
Acquaintance - 1. A person whom we know
well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend
to. 2. A degree of friendship called slight when its
object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich
or famous.
Admiration - Our polite recognition of
anothers resemblance to ourselves.
Adult - A person who has stopped
growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.
Advertising - Makes you think
youve longed all your life for something you never
even heard of before.
Alcohol - A liquid good for preserving
almost everything except secrets.
Artistic Temperament - Seldom
recognized until its too old to spank.
Diplomat - A man who convinces his wife
that a woman looks stout in a fur coat.
English - The universal language,
spoken almost everywhere except in England and Boston.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Leg Cut Off at Oronogo.
T. K. Irwin was in Oronogo a few hours
this morning and reports another deplorable railroad
accident there. A 16-year old young man from Siloam
Springs, has been out to Arkansas City, Kas., to work in
the harvest fields and becoming sick he was going home.
There was to be a rally or celebration of some kind in
Siloam Springs tomorrow, and the boy was in a hurry to
get home to attend that. He was out of money, evidently,
and bumming his way on freight trains. In attempting to
catch a train at Oronogo he fell under the wheels and had
one leg mashed off below the knee. The doctors were
preparing to amputate when Mr. Irwin left.
Gone Into the
Transfer Business.
Lawrence Havens, the popular grocery
clerk of this city, has been obliged on account of ill
health, caused by close confinement in the store to give
up his position with Walter Wells. He has decided to run
a transfer wagon in this city.
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Today's Feature State Auditor
Sues Gov. Nixon.
State Auditor Tom Schweich
announced last week that his office has filed a
lawsuit in Cole County Circuit Court asserting
Gov. Jay Nixon violated the Missouri Constitution
and failed to utilize established accounting
principles when he withheld more than $170
million from state agencies, programs and
educational institutions prior to the start of
the current fiscal year.
In June, the state
auditors office announced the commencement
of a regularly scheduled audit of the Missouri
governors office. As veteran auditors (who
have served multiple administrations) reviewed
general accounting and fiscal practices of the
governors office, they also reviewed the
governors accounting procedures and alleged
legal authority for more than $170 million in
withheld appropriated funds. On August 19, the
state auditors office sent a letter to the
governor expressing serious concerns about the
legality and financial basis for his withholds.
The letter noted that neither the governor nor
any budget official could provide any supporting
data (spreadsheets, ledger books, cash balance
sheets, projections, studies, analyses or any
other data) to support the withholdings. The
auditors office found the withholds to be
contrary to the express language of Missouri
Constitution as the governor made the
withholdings prior to start of the current fiscal
year. The Missouri Constitution states the
governor can only make withholds based on current
fiscal year revenue data, at which time there was
none.
The withholds were made from
appropriated funds for: Parents as Teachers,
Bright Flight Scholarships, Medicaid, community
colleges and state universities, veterinary
student loans, the Missouri Film Office,
community intervention programs, Area Agencies on
Aging (funding partially restored), domestic
violence grants (funding partially restored),
childrens treatment services, the
judiciary, trade zone facilities, regional port
authorities, math and science tutoring, the
Scholars and Fine Arts Academy, the Missouri
Lottery, the Missouri Department of
Transportation, the Missouri Federal and State
Technology Partnership Program (MOFAST), MOHELA
Projects, the Missouri State Penitentiary (MSP)
Remediation, marine maintenance facility, civil
detention and legal fees, Alzheimers
grants, Access Missouri Scholarship, crisis care
services (funding partially restored), the
Missouri Research and Education Network
(MOREnet), the Office of Child Advocate,
Boonville Readiness Center, community development
corporations, transportation, early grade
literacy, industry training, local air pollution
control, eating disorders staff & expenses,
mediation and firefighter training.
The auditor also noted that the
governor withheld funds from the Republican
controlled legislature and the Republican
auditor, but did not cut funds for his own office
or any Democrat statewide elected official.
Jasper
County Jail Count
198 September 2,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I find it useful to lose
somethin ever now and then.
Nothin seems ta motivate gettin
rid of those things ya figure might come in
handy some day like tryin ta find
somethin ya need right now.
That old pair a roller
skates that ya thought might actually be used
at some point in your life suddenly becomes a
startin place for a heap of junk. I
continues with that tennis racket that needs
restringin.
If your really on a roll,
youll find a trunk or two that will
barely hold together under the load of your
other "treasures" long enough to
get to the curb. Havin an empty box
always helps the motivation. Ya keep
lookin for junk to fill it with.
The worst thing is if ya
find what your lookin for too early in
the day. At least you can still brag to how
smart ya are not to throw anything out.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Column
To Your Good
Health
By Paul G. Donohue,
M.D.
Berries, Nuts,
Popcorn and Diverticulosis
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I know you
have written about diverticulosis before, but
would you mind going over it again? I was
hospitalized with it and had to have intravenous
fluids. My brother-in-law says that wasnt
necessary. He has it, and it has never caused him
any trouble. He says hes careful about not
eating nuts, seeds, popcorn and berries, and
thats all you have to do for it. I know I
was in pain, and I know it wasnt imagined.
Can you clear up these issues for me? -- W.F.
ANSWER: Your brother-in-law is
right about diverticulosis. It seldom causes
severe pain. Diverticulosis is the formation of
diverticula -- small protrusions on the outer
colon wall. Its a condition widespread in
countries where refining flour is the rage.
Refining gets rid of fiber, and a low-fiber diet
is believed to be a major factor in the
development of diverticulosis. Fiber keeps
undigested food soft, moist and easily propelled
through and out of the digestive tract. Without
it, stool becomes hard and dry. The colon must
exert great force to pass it through. That force
generates diverticula formation.
You had more than
diverticulosis. You had diverticulitis --
inflammation of the diverticula. Each
diverticulum connects with the colon through a
narrow neck. If that neck becomes obstructed,
bacteria in the diverticulum multiply and cause
it to swell and become most painful. Swollen
diverticula break and form abscesses, which add
to the pain. Most often, diverticulitis must be
treated in the hospital.
At one time, people with
diverticulosis were uniformly instructed to avoid
nuts, seeds, popcorn, berries and similar foods
in the belief that they would obstruct the neck
of a diverticulum and bring on a bout of
diverticulitis. That position isnt
universally adopted anymore. However, if your
personal doctor tells you to avoid those and
similar foods, do so. He or she knows far more
about your particular condition than does someone
at a word processor hundreds or thousands of
miles away from you.
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