A doctor said to his patient: "You have a
slight heart condition, but I wouldnt worry about
"Really, Doc?" the patient
replied. "Well, if you had a slight heart condition
I wouldnt worry about it either."
Two men broke into the Dallas cowboys
trophy room last night.
Police are reported to be looking for
two men carrying a big blue carpet
"Kind of a sad study out today
that single women over the age of 35 are more likely to
be shot by the vice president than to find a
husband." -- Jimmy Kimmel
A man goes to the doctor and says,
"Doctor, Im having trouble with my
"What are the symptoms?" asks
The man replies, "A yellow TV
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Best Encampment Every
Col. Leo Rassieur, past commander of
the G.A.R. and judge of the probate court for the city of
St. Louis, has written Capt. Tuttle, commander of Stanton
post of this city, a letter in which he says the state
campment just enclosed in this city was " the best
encampment over department ever had. I enjoyed myself
splendidly and so did everyone who left Carthage on the
same train with me."
Purchased a Drilling
Messrs. Curtis and Nat Wright have
purchased a drilling outfit and expect it to arrive in a
day or two. This morning Nat Wright left for Bells Neck
mining camp where they will do their first drilling. Owen
Gray of Alba, who is to assist them accompanied him. When
they have completed their work at Hells Neck they
will prospect the "Beeville" land south of
The staff of George Washington
Carver National Monument invites you to Prairie
Day on Saturday, September 10, 2011, from 10:00
a.m. to 3:00 p.m. This event is free of charge.
Staff, volunteers, storytellers, and musicians
will present interactive programs about life
during the mid- 1860s and 1870s, when George
Washington Carver was a child.
Take a horse-drawn wagon ride
through the prairie. Settle in and listen as
storyteller Gladys Coggswell becomes Mary Ann
Cord, recounting her experiences in slavery, and
her determination and hope to survive. Cathy
Barton and Dave Para will perform folk tunes,
emphasizing the cultural heritage of the Ozarks.
Join the Farnum Family for Ozark traditional
music and dance, and listen as storyteller Dee
Ban uses her autoharp to present the history and
song of Missouri history and of the Civil War.
Dip a candle and enjoy the
dulcimer music. Other activities throughout the
day include log hewing, blacksmithing, quilting,
edible and medicinal plants, food preservation,
wool spinning, Dutch-oven cooking, Civil War
field medicine, lye soap-making, plus many more
exhibits and activities set up around the park. A
special Junior Ranger badge if available for kids
and a concession stand will be offered by the
Carver Birthplace Association.
Administered by the National
Park Service, an agency of the Department of the
Interior, George Washington Carver National
Monument preserves the birthplace and childhood
home of George Washington Carver: scientist,
educator, and humanitarian. The monument is
located two miles west of Diamond, Missouri on
Highway V, then ¼ mile south on Carver Road. For
more information, please call the park at (417)
325-4151 between 9:00 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. visit
the park website: www.nps.gov/gwca or send an
email to firstname.lastname@example.org
County Jail Count
183 September 8,
Including Placed out of County
I know theyre just
tryin to be polite, but it bugs me when
ya call and they ask, "May I ask
whos calling?" Well sure you can
ask. What ya really mean is "tell me who
this is or ya aint gettin
Some will get more to the
point, "Who shall I say is
calling?" That at least says
theres no doubt what the question is.
My favorite English teacher
spent an awful lota time leanin me ta
speak proper. Specially the difference
tween can and
may. We used ta bug her by
askin "can I go to the
restroom." She would always squirm a
little, knowin she didnt want to
get into a discussion whether we had
the ability or needed
permission to go.
I suppose the polite thing
ta do is ta identify myself when I make a
call, that would eliminate my irritation and
that of the person answerin the phone.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
SENIOR NEWS LINE
by Matilda Charles
A New Way to Do
When it comes to saving a life,
how far would you go?
We know what CPR is:
Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation. Its used to
restart a heart that has stopped. It involves lot
of hard work pumping a patients chest,
alternating with another person to force air into
the lungs and counting breaths. Of course,
its a worthwhile effort, and many of us
have taken CPR classes to learn how to do it.
Unfortunately, far too many
people wont even try to administer CPR for
one main reason: They are hesitant to give
Now theres an alternative
to standard Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation.
Its called Continuous Chest Compressions
CPR, or Cardiocerebral Resuscitation, and since
it doesnt involve any mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation, one person can do it alone. This
relatively simple, hands-only technique can
double a heart-attack victims chances of
The new method focuses on
keeping blood pumping through the heart and to
the brain (notice the "cerebral" part
of the name), which is crucial for the survival
of the victim. It doesnt do much good if
you get the heart started but the brain has been
without blood for too long.
If youre interested in
learning this technique, there are three steps
before you begin. Go online to
www.heart.arizona.edu, and youll find a
link right on the front page. Watch the video.
Step two is to ask your doctor if you should
learn this technique to use on anyone in your
family who might have a heart condition, or on
anyone else. Step three is to find a class in
your community. While the video is better than
nothing, for something this serious, a class is
the best way to learn it properly.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.