Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if
you dont know what you are talking about.
An 85-year-old widow went on a blind
date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her
daughters house later that night, she seemed upset.
"What happened, Mother?" the
"I had to slap his face three
"You mean he got fresh?"
"No," she answered, "I
thought he was dead."
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for
takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702
switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we
saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared
for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on
frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern
BR Continental 635: "Continental
635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied
Eastern... weve already notified our
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start
clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground,
what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want
an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a
German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I
Unknown voice from another plane (in a
beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the
The pen is mightier than the sword, and
considerably easier to write with.
An Israeli landed at Heathrow Airport
in London, at the control the officer asked: occupation?
The Israeli answers: no just for visit.
When two egotist meet, its an I
for an I.
Community Policing Work Day.
The Carthage Police Department
has announced another Community Policing Work
Day. On April 21st, 2012 from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm
the Carthage Police Department and local
volunteers will be working in a targeted area
helping the community with their specific needs.
The Carthage Police Department has teamed up with
the Ministerial Alliance and businesses within
the community in an effort to reduce crime and
help residents clean up their neighborhood. Many
local businesses have donated their time and
resources for this program.
The designated area for the
Community Policing area is all businesses and
residences north of Central Avenue within the
city limits. Many residents have responded to the
program and are making efforts to correct
problems within the area.
The Carthage Police Department
Mobile Command Bus will be placed in the 200
block of N. Maple on April 21st for anyone
wanting to help with this community event.
Volunteers are welcome to sign up at this
location and obtain information on assisting a
need in the Community Policing area. If there are
any questions contact the Community Policing
Officers Ben Vogt and Chris Vandegevel at
417-674-1930 or at the Carthage Police Department
Art in the
"Art in the Park/National
Junior Ranger Day" is coming up at George
Washington Carver National Monument, Saturday,
April 28th form 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. The theme
for National Park Week is "Picture Yourself
in a National Park".
Artists will be at work across
park grounds, workshops will be provided to teach
techniques with acrylics, pastels, pencils, and
clay, and at 11:00 a.m. featured artist Mike
Wimmer from Oklahoma City will present his
original paintings commissioned for George
Washington Carver National Monument. His
paintings are featured on new exhibits along the
In the National Park Service A
Call to Action Strategic Plan charting a path
toward the 2016 centennial of the National Park
Service, one action concept, "Arts
Afire" showcases the meaning of national
parks to new audiences by encouraging youth to
create expressions of their park experience via
arts and social media. In response, "Art in
the Park" will feature a Budding Artists
area. Young artists will enjoy the thoroughly
interactive stations geared for kids, as part of
National Junior Ranger Day.
The event is free of charge,
The Carver Birthplace Association will offer a
concession stand with snacks for sale from 11:00
a.m. to 2:00 p.m. In case of rain, all activities
will take place inside the spacious visitor
Chamber Business Expo 2012.
Over 40 exhibitors have
committed to be at the Chamber Business Expo
2012. Thursday, April 26th from 5-7 will be the
Business After Hours, sponsored by John Hoffer
Dodge, for the business professionals of our
local communities. Food and beverages will be
provided by B&C Catering, Dominos
Pizza, Missouri Eagle and the Carthage Chamber.
Friday, April 27th 10-6 the
Expo will be open to the public. An iPad provided
by Cornerstone Family Dental and makeover
provided by Dr. Flys Salon as grand prizes,
food samples from B&C Catering and
Dominos Pizza on site, hourly door prizes,
goodie bags to the first 500 attendees and lots
of other promotions.
Approving Settlement With Joplin Contractor.
Attorney General Chris Koster
has obtained a court order requiring a contractor
who failed to complete work on homes in Joplin
damaged by the tornado to pay restitution.
The contractor, William Pittman
of Owasso, Oklahoma, did business as Precision
Contracting and Roofing and as CWRP, LLC. Pittman
accepted payment from Joplin homeowners to repair
their homes but failed to complete all of the
Under the terms of the
settlement, Pittman must pay $4,500 in
restitution to consumers who were harmed and a
$2,000 penalty to the state. The Attorney General
will also hold Pittman accountable for any
consumer who files a complaint within the next 60
days and provides documentation of loss caused by
the defendants. Any consumers who paid money to
William Pittman d/b/a Precision Contracting and
Roofing or CWRP, LLC d/b/a Precision Contracting
and Roofing, but have not been provided the goods
or services, should contact the Attorney
Generals Consumer Hotline at 1-800-392-8222
or ago.mo.gov and file a consumer complaint.
The agreement filed in court
also requires Pittman to comply with Missouri
consumer laws and all state and local business
registration and license requirements.
Applications Available at Carthage Youth Expo.
Many 46th Annual Maple Leaf
applications, including pageant (baby through
Queen), commercial, food and craft booths and
lighting contest, will be available at the
Carthage Youth Expo, Saturday, April 21st from 9
a.m.-1 p.m. at Fair Acres Family YMCA.
Prizes for many of the contests
will be given. Lighting contest winners will
receive decorative yard stones. Winners in the
baby and toddler division will win a trophy and
ribbon. Little Miss and Mister, Junior Miss and
Princess winners will each win a $50 savings bond
and the Queen and her first and second runner up,
will each win a cash scholarship prize.
Roger Wilson Indicted.
Former Governor Roger Wilson
and a St. Louis attorney were indicted last week
on charges that they were involved in illegal
contributions to the Missouri Democratic Party
from the state-created Missouri Employers Mutual
The indictment charged that
Wilson, in his former capacity as chief executive
officer at Missouri Employers Mutual, embezzled
money from the company through legal bills to
attorney Edward J. Griesedieck, a partner at the
Herzog Crew Law firm in St. Louis, for the
purpose of a political contribution to the
Missouri Democratic Party.
When news broke Thursday, the
Missouri Republican Party charged that "it
is obvious" that individuals at the Missouri
Democratic Party, including Gov. Jay Nixon, must
have known about the source of the funds.
In this election year, hoping
to tie Nixon to Wilson, Republicans circulated a
photograph of the two together at a 2007
fundraiser. Nixon, however, was not specifically
mentioned in the indictment.
County Jail Count
167 April 18,
Including Placed out of County
by Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
My car time-travels into the
future. I have a 2004 Volvo XC70 station wagon (I
know its dowdy, but its better than a
minivan, right?) that for some reason does not
keep proper time. I can set the clock to the
correct time, and within days it will be running
fast. Within two months, the clock is fast by 20
minutes. I can understand losing time because of
a weak battery or something, but advancing in
time? Any thoughts? OK, let me clarify that: Any
thoughts pertaining to my question?-- Lisa
TOM: We actually do have a few
of those, Lisa.
RAY: If youre the kind of
person who is chronically late, you may have a
spouse who is surreptitiously nudging your clock
ahead in an attempt to get you to be on time.
TOM: Most likely, Lisa, the
clock itself is faulty. And, unfortunately, the
clock in this car is part of the instrument
RAY: And when you find out that
in order to replace this clock, you have to
replace the whole instrument cluster for $1,000,
youll embrace the time-honored solution for
malfunctioning automotive clocks.
TOM: Youll go to the
hardware store, and for four bucks, youll
buy yourself one of those stick-on digital
clocks. Youll peel off the backing and slap
it right onto the instrument panel, over where
your current clock sits.
RAY: Now, its possible
that your entire instrument cluster is beginning
to fail. If something crucial in the cluster
stops functioning -- like the speedometer -- you
may be forced to replace the whole thing at that
TOM: Or, if youre lucky,
your regular mechanic will know one of the places
that fixes these panels for a few hundred bucks,
and hell be able to send it out for you.
ART NOTES from
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
Time is short
before we will be holding summer kids
artCamp, and I am excited to continue the
planning in earnest. I had received the class
proposals from 8 art instructors who will be
participating again this year, but due to the
many other things going on, had not had the time
to sit down and compile them. I did so this past
Sunday after spending Saturday at the art walk
and then removing two displays that we had a part
in during that event. With everything put away at
the gallery, I sat down with the class proposals
and typed them all into the computer, and this
years proposals numbered 49! What a fun
bunch of reading! Thirty have been chosen, and as
is sometimes the case, a theme rose out of the
group, and unbeknownst to any of them,
"birds" was common to many proposals.
"Angry Birds" is a popular computer
game and theme for merchandising in the world
arena, and artCamp will be offering two classes
with this theme, additionally a more traditional
bird class will be taught the history of the
great bird artist Audubon and paint traditional
birds while designing and constructing wacky bird
nests of the kids creation. The bird
classes are only a bit of what is coming up in
our current artCamp which will be scheduled this
year from July 16- 27th here at Hyde House with
three classes being offered daily for the
kids choosing. We will not be holding
classes this year on Saturdays, but will continue
for a third year with the kids art show on
the Sunday that falls between weeks on July 22. I
encourage you to call me with the names of kids
who will qualify, ages 8-14, that may not have
attended in the past but who might be interested.
We will hold 30 completely different classes, and
kids sign up for as many as they choose, one per
day, each class completing in that day. I will
again be offering some basic skills classes in
drawing and painting, as well a two clay
construction classes, and assorted
"crafty" classes which will include
jewelry making, some sewing and crochet, and just
a bunch of fun activities for both boys and
girls. If you have come in the past, you are
already on my list to receive information, and
the fliers should go to print this week. See you
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