The Mornin' Mail is published weekly

Week of
Thursday, January 5-11, 2011 Volume XX, Number 142

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?. . This space is available for non-profit organizations for timely announcements.

today's laugh

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

One day a teacher was giving a lecture on philosophy, and had the class enthralled. It was a brilliant lecture.

Suddenly, over his head a bright light flashed and an angel came down and approached the teacher. She said, "You are doing such a good job teaching this class, I have decided to give you one wish. You can have infinite money, infinite wisdom, or infinite knowledge."

Thinking for a minute, he humbly asked for infinite wisdom.

She tapped him with a magic wand and disappeared in a flash.

The class leaned forward to hear the first words from a man with infinite wisdom.

He said, "It would have been wiser to take the money..."

About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up.

"They think we have an accent," she replied.

"But they have an accent, right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?"

"Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out."

His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

Vice President Al Gore

  Today's Features

Dog and Cat Tags Due and Available.

The City Clerks office has distributed new dog and cat tags to veterinarians in the area and they are available now. They can be obtained through local veterinarians or Dog licenses are handled by the city clerk’s office. Proof of rabies vaccine given by a licensed veterinarian is required. The license fee at City Hall is $5.00.

For a Dog license, the fee is five dollars for a non-spayed female or non-neutered male. There will be no license fee for a spayed female or a neutered male. It shall be the responsibility of the owner of any spayed female or a neutered male to keep and provide upon request, proof that said dog has been spayed or neutered. There will also be no license fee for dogs owned by persons sixty-five (65) years of age or older.

Cat License

Any person residing in the city and owning or having in his or her possession any cats shall obtain a license as required by the Carthage Code. There shall be a charge of five dollars for a non-spayed female or non-neutered male. Licenses for the keeping of cats shall expire annually on the anniversary date of its issuance. There will be no license fee for a spayed female or a neutered male. It shall be the responsibility of the owner of any spayed female or a neutered male to keep and provide upon request, proof that said cat has been spayed or neutered. Further, each cat must be vaccinated for rabies. There will also be no license fee for cats owned by persons sixty-five (65) years of age or older.

No more than five dogs and cats, and no more than three of this number being dogs, shall be kept at any individual, commercial, industrial or residential unit within the city.



Saferite Retires.

Frank Saferite, owner of Grundy’s Body Shop, has sold the business and retired as of January 1, 2012.

Frank has been associated with Gurndy’s Body shop for 42 years, being the owner for the last 33 years.


From The Blotter.

Jeannie M. Chartier, 57, of Carthage was arrested on 12/30/11. Ms. Chartier works for a local bonding Company and detained Mr. Reynaldo Delarosa on 12-28-11 saying she was revoking his bond, Ms. Chartier took him to the Jasper County Detention Center but was refused due to not having a judges order to revoke his bond. Ms. Chartier then took Mr. Delarosa to her residence and hand cuffed him to the banister of her staircase until 12-29-11. Delarosa was released after calling a friend to pay his bond to the Chartier. Chartier was subsequently arrested and charged with false imprisonment, Misdemeanor, $2,500 bond, in reference to the incident that occurred within Jasper County.



Patrol Reports Five Fatalities During New Year’s Counting Period.

The Missouri State Highway Patrol reports five people died during the New Year’s holiday counting period from 6 p.m., Friday, December 30, 2011, to 11:59 p.m., Monday, January 2, 2012. Troopers investigated 163 traffic crashes with 75 injuries and 5 fatalities. In addition, troopers made 114 arrests for driving while intoxicated.

During last year’s New Year’s holiday counting period, troopers investigated 157 traffic crashes with 70 injuries. Statewide, there were five fatalities during the 2011 New Year’s holiday. In addition, troopers made 90 arrests for driving while intoxicated.

Based on preliminary crash report information, Colonel Ron Replogle, superintendent of the Missouri State Highway Patrol, wants to make the public aware of a 5 percent decrease in traffic fatalities in 2011 when compared to 2010. "As of January 3, 2012, Missouri traffic crash fatalities totaled 773 for 2011, compared to 821 traffic crash fatalities in 2010. This is the first year since 1949 that Missouri has experienced less than 800.



Jasper County Jail Count

179 January 4, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



Between yesterday afternoon and this morning, I have had three flat tires. The tire that was flat yesterday had a screw in it, and the tires that are flat this morning have finishing nails. My question is, Are plugs reliable, or are patches or tire replacement recommended? I will add that I am living in Costa Rica, and tire puncturing is a known technique for robbing foreigners. Thus the idea of replacing tires only to have them repunctured is not appealing. -- Bill

TOM: Well, my first thought was that you need run-flat tires. Run-flats require special equipment to mount them, plus they’re expensive, require tire-pressure monitors and may not be as repairable as standard tires.

RAY: So, on second thought, you need a 55-gallon drum of pepper spray mounted on the roof.

TOM: Actually, plugs have been used since the days of the Roman chariots. OK, not that long, but they’re well-established and effective. As long as the hole in the tire is not too big, you can insert a plug and expect it to last for the remaining life of the tire -- which in your case sounds like about six hours.

RAY: But even better, a plug is something you can do yourself, Bill. You can go to any auto-parts store and buy yourself a plug kit.

TOM: It consists of a bunch of plugs, a reamer, which you use to make the hole the exact size of the plug, and a tool for inserting the plugs.

RAY: So you create the hole, then thread the plug into the insertion tool, and then you insert it and remove the tool. And voila! The repair is done and you’re on your way.

TOM: So then what you need is a cylinder of compressed air that you can carry around in your trunk. Good luck, Bill.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.