I went into the greasy spoon next to the office
and ordered a tuna on wheat. The waitress said, "Oh,
Im sorry, were out of wheat bread.
Youll have to have it on white."
The next day I went to the same place
and ordered the same tuna on wheat. Again she told me
they were out of wheat, Id have to get it on white.
The third time I went there I decided
to skip the step of being refused the wheat and just
ordered tuna on white. The waitress looked up from her
notepad and said, "Arent you the guy who
usually orders it on wheat?"
Flush from their Healthcare plan
victory in Congress, the administration is proposing
mandatory Federal Auto Insurance.
Like healthcare, the government will
fund car insurance for everyone who is unable to afford
the increasing premiums by raising taxes on drivers who
dont have accidents.
A law professor was lecturing to his
students and asked them if they were familiar with Roe
vs. Wade. When none of the students volunteered an
answer, he called on Bambi in the front row.
Bambi thought hard for a moment and
then finally replied, "That was the decision
Washington had to make before crossing the
Call the psychic hotline and dont
Vice President Lyndon Johnson received
the following message from an Indian (Native American) on
"Be careful with your immigration
laws. We were careless with ours."
Law of probability: The probability of
being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity
of your act.
Poised on CW&EP Rate Hikes.
The CW&EP staff presented a
budget draft for fiscal year 2012-2013 during the
Boards April meeting members discussed major
items including revenues, operating expenses and
capital expenditures. According to the minutes:
"A motion by Johnson and
seconded by Faulk to include in the budget a
managerial flexible pay increase of 2.75 percent
Also discussed was the impact
on local costs due to EPA and DNR regulations
being implemented through the Clean Air Act and
the Clean Water Act on the federal level.
Implementation of regulations such as the
Cross-State Air Pollution Rule covering S02 and
Nox, the Coal Combustion Residuals Rule covering
fly ash, and the Utility MACT Rule covering
mercury and particulate matter, combined with
increased cost for coal and rail transportation,
is expected to increase the cost of electricity
by 40% within the next 6 years, with much of that
increase coming as soon as 2014.
A motion by Beimdiek and
seconded by Ross to approve the CW&EP Fiscal
Year 2012-2013 budget for presentation to the
Carthage City Council with recommended rate
increases of 15% Electric with a decrease in
revenue from Purchased Power Adjustment of
approximately 5%, 15.6% Water Rate increase, and
10% Wastewater increase passed unanimously."
The Council is now considering the increases.
Energy Initiative Short of Signatures.
The Missouri Energy Development
Association (MEDA) and Missourians for Affordable
Renewable Energy (MARE) have announced that
California-based Earth Island Institute,
Inc./Renew Missouris (EII) new renewable
energy mandate initiative petition effort was
unable to produce the necessary amount of
signatures to the Secretary of States
Office by the signature collection deadline of
May 6, 2012. Therefore, no renewable energy
mandate initiative petitions will be eligible for
the November 2012 election ballot.
"MEDA, MARE, and
additional business and labor coalition partners
worked extremely hard to protect Missouris
residential and small business energy consumers
by defeating the rampant rate increases that
would have resulted from EIIs costly
mandate," said Trey Davis, president of
MEDA has been working since
2008 to put into action the original renewable
energy mandate, Proposition C, so that investment
is promoted. As recently as December 27, 2011,
the Cole County Circuit Court ruled in favor of
MEDAs argument that Proposition C provides
a 1 percent rate increase limit, not 10 percent
plus like was argued for by EII, and that a
utility may comply with the standard by
purchasing renewable energy credits and
facilitating a broad market within which the
credits can be traded and consumer costs can be
Collectively, MEDA members
deliver now, and in the future, nearly 1000 MW of
wind energy to customers.
Food Drive On Saturday, May 12.
anniversary of "Stamp Out Hunger"
annual national food drive.
The Carthage Area United Way
encourages community members to donate a sturdy
bag of non-perishable items (canned foods, pasta,
rice, cereal, etc.) to be collected by letter
carriers as they deliver mail along their postal
"Stamp Out Hunger" is
a national partnership between NALC, the U.S.
Postal Service, United Way, the AFL-CIO, the
National Rural Letter Carriers Association,
Campbell Soup Company, Feeding America, Valpak,
AARP and Uncle Bobs Self Storage. Mail
carriers will take the donations to the local
Post Office and then it will be delivered to
Carthage Crosslines Ministries, a Carthage Area
United Way agency that assists in meeting
emergency needs of persons and families in our
community by providing assistance with food and
The Food Drive will be this
Saturday, May 12, 2012, prior to mail delivery.
Those unable to get donations out on Saturday
morning, can drop off any donation, all year
long, at the Crosslines office, 600 E. 6th
Street between 8 and noon or call 358-1577 for
Bag(s) should be left next to
This year the drive is amidst a
"perfect storm" of high unemployment,
sky-high food and gasoline prices, unprecedented
budget cuts to federal nutrition programs, limits
on charitable-giving incentives and a decline in
federal commodities. Some larger food banks are
reporting declines in food inventories of as much
as 35 percent from last year. Moving into the
summer months, 22 million students are at risk of
going hungry when the school year ends. For many
children, school meals are the only complete and
nutritious meals they eat.
DWI Check Point
weekend May 11th-13th, 2012.
The weekend of May 11th-13th,
2012, The Jasper County Sheriffs Office
with the assistance of the Southwest Missouri DWI
task force, will be holding a sobriety
checkpoint, in Jasper County. According to the
Sheriff, this Check Point will be a "No
Refusal" check point. A no refusal check
point is defined as if a suspect is arrested for
driving while intoxicated/impaired and refuses to
submit to a breath test. A search warrant will be
obtained and a blood sample will be acquired. A
member of the Jasper County Prosecutors
Office and a Jasper County Judge will be on scene
to issue any needed search warrants or other
The Jasper County Sheriff says
that he and his Office, "want to preserve
the safety of the residents of Jasper County and
keep the roadways in Jasper County safe. Drunk
drivers kill thousands of innocent people yearly
on the roadways and this check point goal is to
deter impaired driving and seek out those people
who drive impaired, violate the law and most
importantly save lives of those passing through
County Jail Count
181 May 9, 2011
Including Placed out of County
by Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
I love your show. I recently
got a 2001 Audi A8L that now has 130,000 miles on
it. The only other owner was my dad, and he took
extremely great care of the car. Recently, the
check-engine light has been coming on, saying
that my catalytic converters efficiency is
too low. My mechanic tested it and said the level
is just barely above what I need for the car to
pass its emissions inspection.
He said to wait as long as I
can to replace it, but that some people choose to
get rid of their cars at this point because the
repair is $5,200, and the blue-book value of the
car is only $6,000. So, what should I do? Keep
the car and pay $5,200 to replace the converters
when the time comes, or sell it now, while it is
still passing its emissions tests?
TOM: You have to relocate to
somewhere with no emissions testing, Patrick.
Have you considered the Democratic Republic of
RAY: A lot of people dont
realize that when you buy a high-end car,
its not only the purchase price thats
high -- the parts and service are "premium
TOM: But the price you got
sounds a little high even for Audi. This car uses
two catalytic converters. According to our
sources, the converters themselves cost about
$1,900 if you buy them from Audi. Then you
probably should replace all four oxygen sensors,
at about $200 a pop. And then add labor. Still, I
dont see how they can charge you more than
about $3,500 for this job. So I think the
estimate you got is high.
RAY: Not that $3,500 is cheap!
But if someone offered you this car, right now,
with new catalytic converters, for $3,500,
youd probably buy it, right? After all,
whats your alternative? You could sell it
for $6,000 and get what? A 2004 Dodge Caravan?
ART NOTES from
Armstrong, Director of artCentral
wonderful for our third opening of 2012, John
Lasaters exhibiton called "Ordinary
Beauty", and I am thrilled to report that
sales for this show exceeded any other show to
date! We ended up with 26 paintings total, and
six have been sold to date. It is not too late to
see this beautiful exhibition, as the gallery
will be open this coming weekend and the next,
Fridays-Sundays noon to 5:00 daily, through May
20th. John did something that was a first for me
as director, and began a plein air painting on
the front porch of one of the beautiful blooming
magnolia flowers from the big saucer magnolia
tree in the front yard. He got about 1/3 finished
when guests began arriving, and he had to pause,
then never returned to finish. The subject being
painted has long since perished, but we are
hoping to convince John to complete the painting
and donate it for auction in our late summer
members sales donation auction, so stay
tuned for that! Please come by if you have not
already done so to take a look! It was a busy
weekend for me too, not only being present at the
gallery to greet guests, but to prepare several
mailings that went out to both our membership as
well as all former artCamp students. I have ready
the artCamp class materials, and have sent those
now to some 89 student homes in hopes of
receiving many of our former students back once
more in July for our two week kids artCamp.
This years camp features 29 classes,
sometimes as many as four a day! This means that
we can offer alot of choices to our students, and
the eight teachers who will be bringing these new
classes have presented a lot of fun and
interesting alternatives. This years
overall theme seems to be birds, and particularly
"angry birds" will be featured in a few
places, so if you have a child aged 8-14 who
might be interested in coming for the first time,
stop by the Public Library later this week, or by
the Chamber of Commerce, for the hot-pink
informational fliers and registration cards. More
information next week on specific classes.
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