| today's
        laugh 
 How can you prevent an elephant from
        charging? Take away his credit card. Artist- "Ill give you five
        dollars if youll let me paint you." Old Mountaineer- "Wal, I
        dunno." Artist- "Its easy
        money." O.M.- "Haint no question
        bout that. I wuz jes a-wonderin how
        Id git the paint off afterwards." Teacher- "Willie, define the word
        puncture." Willie- "A puncture is a little
        hole in a tire, usually found a great distance from a
        garage." Why do elephants have trunks. Because they dont have glove
        compartments. Tragedy in a nutshell: Lion and two
        lion-hunters; lion and one lion-hunter; lion. 1902
 INTERESTING MELANGE.
 A Chronological Record of
        Events as they have Transpired in the City and County
        since our last Issue.
 F. M.
        KENDALL TO RESIGN. Veteran Letter
        Carrier to Move  to Oregon or Idaho. F. M. Kendall, the veteran Carthage
        postman who has been on the force ever since free
        delivery went into effect here, today prepared his
        resignation to forward to Washington. He expects to be
        relieved the middle of January and to leave Carthage the
        middle of February for the west. he will spend some time
        looking up a desirable location for his childrens
        health, and expects to locate either in Milo county,
        Oregon, or in Idaho. Mr. Kendall will be succeeded as letter
        carrier of the west district by first substitute George
        Smith. Mr. Kendall today sold his residence at
        435 Cooper street to Mr. Smith who will thus succeed him
        in his home as well as in his job. The price of the
        property was $1,200. 
            
                |  | Today's Feature Hensley Christmas Grand Marshal. The annual Carthage Christmas
                Parade will be led this evening by Grand Marshal
                Danny Hensley. "Danny will lead the
                festive array of bands, horses, twirlers, floats
                and vintage autos," said Main Street
                Director Carol Green. Main Street Carthage and
                SkillsUSA-VICA are cosponsors of the event. The
                theme this year is "Unwrap the Spirit of the
                Season" and is funded in part by a $1,000
                grant from the Helen S. Boylan Foundation. There are scheduled to be 80
                entries in the parade competing for several
                trophies recognizing the best use of lights and
                the best presentation of the theme for the year. "Dannys role as a
                citizen in Jasper County has helped lighten the
                load for many area not-for-profits," said
                Green, "because if you needed him, hed
                be there. His love of art and visionary ability
                helped found and develop the Midwest Gathering of
                the Artists from a small show and sale into the
                annual gala that we so proudly celebrate so
                proudly now." The parade will circle the
                Carthage Square and begins at 7 p.m. on Main
                Street. 
 
 |  
                |  | Just Jake
                Talkin' 
 Mornin',
 
                      
                        I just wish Id
                        had a little more time to adjust to the
                        winter. I knew it would have ta be due
                        anytime, there was just that one more
                        outside project I was tryin to get
                        done on Sunday.  
                        I just went inside to
                        get the last equipment when it hit. The
                        thirty degree drop in temperature
                        wasnt so bad, but the rain pretty
                        well shut me down. If we can just squeak
                        out one more decent weekend I will move
                        inside for the winter. Those
                        "indoor" projects have been
                        pilin up durin the nice
                        weather.  
                        I will have to re-drain
                        the water hose fore a hard freeze.
                        I had it all tucked away but hooked it
                        back up the other night to spray a cat
                        that had strayed into the yard and
                        drivin the dog nuts. It escaped
                        with just a soaked coat, but left the
                        hose filled to the brim. A small price to
                        pay for a tranquil nights sleep I
                        suppose. 
                        This is some fact, but
                        mostly,  
                        Just Jake Talkin. |  
                | Sponsored by Carthage Printing | Weekly Column 
 THIS IS A HAMMER By Samantha Mazzotta Home Fire
                Safety I recently purchased a neat
                little computer game called "The Sims,"
                in which one guides little computer people
                through little computerized suburban lives.
                Unfortunately, Im not much at computer
                games, and my first simulated persons life
                ended tragically, in a house fire. "The Sims"
                doesnt quite mirror real life, but the fate
                of my character served to illustrate a real-life
                danger: house fires. Winter is probably the most
                dangerous time of year in regard to house fires.
                Fireplaces, stoves and heaters all present a risk
                to homeowners  in fact, kitchen stoves and
                space heaters cause the greatest number of
                injuries and deaths each year. So, its important to keep
                a smoke detector on every level of your home, as
                well as a fire extinguisher, and to keep space
                heaters at least 3 feet away from any object that
                can burn  like blankets, clothing and
                furniture. Kidde, a leading maker of fire
                extinguishers, offers several tips to maximize
                fire safety at home:  Test smoke detectors
                every month. Replace the batteries twice a year,
                and replace the detector every 10 years.  Check fire extinguishers
                monthly. If the pressure is low or the cylinder
                is damaged or corroded, replace it.  Have the fireplace and
                chimney inspected once a year, and cleaned if
                necessary.  Check all appliances to
                make sure they work properly, and inspect
                electrical cords for signs of fraying or other
                damage.  Keep matches and
                lighters well out of reach of children, and
                dispose of cigars, cigarettes and pipe tobacco
                properly.  Learn to deal with
                cooking fires correctly. Fire departments and
                related services often host fire-prevention
                classes that address these types of fires.  Create an escape plan
                and have the entire family practice it once a
                month. Show everyone the exits nearest each room,
                and have the family crawl to the exits on hands
                and knees to stay below smoke. (Have everyone
                practice this a second time, blindfolded, to
                illustrate the disorientation smoke and darkness
                cause.)  Designate a meeting area
                outside in a safe place, and tell everyone never
                to go back inside a burning building. |  
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