How can you prevent an elephant from
Take away his credit card.
Artist- "Ill give you five
dollars if youll let me paint you."
Old Mountaineer- "Wal, I
Artist- "Its easy
O.M.- "Haint no question
bout that. I wuz jes a-wonderin how
Id git the paint off afterwards."
Teacher- "Willie, define the word
Willie- "A puncture is a little
hole in a tire, usually found a great distance from a
Why do elephants have trunks.
Because they dont have glove
Tragedy in a nutshell: Lion and two
lion-hunters; lion and one lion-hunter; lion.
A Chronological Record of
Events as they have Transpired in the City and County
since our last Issue.
KENDALL TO RESIGN.
Carrier to Move
to Oregon or Idaho.
F. M. Kendall, the veteran Carthage
postman who has been on the force ever since free
delivery went into effect here, today prepared his
resignation to forward to Washington. He expects to be
relieved the middle of January and to leave Carthage the
middle of February for the west. he will spend some time
looking up a desirable location for his childrens
health, and expects to locate either in Milo county,
Oregon, or in Idaho.
Mr. Kendall will be succeeded as letter
carrier of the west district by first substitute George
Mr. Kendall today sold his residence at
435 Cooper street to Mr. Smith who will thus succeed him
in his home as well as in his job. The price of the
property was $1,200.
Hensley Christmas Grand Marshal.
The annual Carthage Christmas
Parade will be led this evening by Grand Marshal
"Danny will lead the
festive array of bands, horses, twirlers, floats
and vintage autos," said Main Street
Director Carol Green.
Main Street Carthage and
SkillsUSA-VICA are cosponsors of the event. The
theme this year is "Unwrap the Spirit of the
Season" and is funded in part by a $1,000
grant from the Helen S. Boylan Foundation.
There are scheduled to be 80
entries in the parade competing for several
trophies recognizing the best use of lights and
the best presentation of the theme for the year.
"Dannys role as a
citizen in Jasper County has helped lighten the
load for many area not-for-profits," said
Green, "because if you needed him, hed
be there. His love of art and visionary ability
helped found and develop the Midwest Gathering of
the Artists from a small show and sale into the
annual gala that we so proudly celebrate so
The parade will circle the
Carthage Square and begins at 7 p.m. on Main
I just wish Id
had a little more time to adjust to the
winter. I knew it would have ta be due
anytime, there was just that one more
outside project I was tryin to get
done on Sunday.
I just went inside to
get the last equipment when it hit. The
thirty degree drop in temperature
wasnt so bad, but the rain pretty
well shut me down. If we can just squeak
out one more decent weekend I will move
inside for the winter. Those
"indoor" projects have been
pilin up durin the nice
I will have to re-drain
the water hose fore a hard freeze.
I had it all tucked away but hooked it
back up the other night to spray a cat
that had strayed into the yard and
drivin the dog nuts. It escaped
with just a soaked coat, but left the
hose filled to the brim. A small price to
pay for a tranquil nights sleep I
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
I recently purchased a neat
little computer game called "The Sims,"
in which one guides little computer people
through little computerized suburban lives.
Unfortunately, Im not much at computer
games, and my first simulated persons life
ended tragically, in a house fire.
doesnt quite mirror real life, but the fate
of my character served to illustrate a real-life
danger: house fires.
Winter is probably the most
dangerous time of year in regard to house fires.
Fireplaces, stoves and heaters all present a risk
to homeowners in fact, kitchen stoves and
space heaters cause the greatest number of
injuries and deaths each year.
So, its important to keep
a smoke detector on every level of your home, as
well as a fire extinguisher, and to keep space
heaters at least 3 feet away from any object that
can burn like blankets, clothing and
Kidde, a leading maker of fire
extinguishers, offers several tips to maximize
fire safety at home:
Test smoke detectors
every month. Replace the batteries twice a year,
and replace the detector every 10 years.
Check fire extinguishers
monthly. If the pressure is low or the cylinder
is damaged or corroded, replace it.
Have the fireplace and
chimney inspected once a year, and cleaned if
Check all appliances to
make sure they work properly, and inspect
electrical cords for signs of fraying or other
Keep matches and
lighters well out of reach of children, and
dispose of cigars, cigarettes and pipe tobacco
Learn to deal with
cooking fires correctly. Fire departments and
related services often host fire-prevention
classes that address these types of fires.
Create an escape plan
and have the entire family practice it once a
month. Show everyone the exits nearest each room,
and have the family crawl to the exits on hands
and knees to stay below smoke. (Have everyone
practice this a second time, blindfolded, to
illustrate the disorientation smoke and darkness
Designate a meeting area
outside in a safe place, and tell everyone never
to go back inside a burning building.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.