The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 5, 2002 Volume XI, Number 120

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?. . .The Friends of the Carthage Public Library will hold their last monthly booksale for 2002 from 8 a.m.-noon on Sat., Dec. 7th in the Library Annex. Pick up some stocking stuffers.

Did Ya Know?. . .The Carthage Humane Society’s Gift Shop for Pets and Pet Lovers will be open from 10 a.m.- 2 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14th. A mini "Flea Market" will also be featured. Santa arrives at 11:30 for pictures. Proceeds help Carthage’s neediest animals. Vendors may call 358-6808.

Did Ya Know?. . .The Calvary Baptist Church, 528 E. 13th St., will have a hanging of the Green service at 6 p.m. on Dec. 8th. Refreshments will be served.

Did Ya Know?. . .The Kids’ Praise Singers of Carthage First Church of the Nazarene, 2000 Grand, will present the Christmas musical, The Mighty Messengers, on Sun., Dec. 8th at 10:30 a.m. Everyone is invited to attend.


today's laugh

Wife One: What does you husband do for a hobby?

Wife Two: He’s a do-it-yourself taxidermist.

Wife One: A do-it-yourself taxidermist?

Wife Two: Yes, every night at dinner he stuffs himself.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


About the Hair That Isn’t There and Why the Hair is Missing.

The High School Crescent society will hold their regular semi-monthly open meeting Friday night in the High school assembly room. An excellent program has been prepared, one of the principal features of which will be a "mock trial," in which Frank Calkins will prosecute Harvey Goble for cutting off one half of his mustache and selling it to a hair mattress factory.

The incident is alleged to have occurred several days ago. It is further alleged that a number of students caught Frank Calkins and shaved off one half of his mustache hence the suit.

As a result of this incident a notice has been hung up in the High school which reads as follows, "First class barber work done in the High school basement. Shaving a specialty. Harvey Goble, tonsorial artist."

  Today's Feature

Carthage Fire Department Donates Toys.


The Carthage Fire department, KODE 12, and other area Fire departments are working together to provide Christmas toys for local children.

The toys will be distributed at a Christmas dinner for the children and their families on Dec. 19th at the Joplin American Legion building at Fourth Street and Schifferdecker Avenue.

New toys and used ones in good condition are being accepted. The Firemen give the children new toys and used toys that are in good condition. Toys may be left at the Carthage Fire Dept. and Wal-Mart Supercenter in the red toy collection box.

An educational toy will be purchased for each child in Jasper, McDonald, and Newton counties Head Start Programs.

Residents who know of families that might need help may call 417-624-1851 or stop by the Carthage Fire Dept. and fill out a Christmas application. Applications are screened with other toy programs before being accepted to prevent families from receiving Christmas help from more than one agency. Families are referred by employers, churches, neighbors, schools, Economic Security Corp., and other toy programs that are no longer accepting applications.

If you would like to make a cash donation to buy new toys or help with the Christmas dinner make your check payable to the Firefighters "Christmas for Kids." Donations may be left at the Carthage Fire Station.

Mid-America Title Loans in Joplin will be matching all cash contributions made to our toy program until Dec. 19th. Please contact Battalion Chief Ron Hitchcock at the Carthage Fire Department for more information.

NASCAR to the Max

The fans of NASCAR Winston Cup racing consider the period between the last race of the season and the next year’s season opening Daytona 500 the off season. To the teams, there is never an off-season. They begin racing in mid-February and run through mid-November, a span of 38 race weekends (counting two non-points paying events) with very few weekends off during the season. The last 20 races of the season are run on consecutive weekends.

Many of the drivers are able to take some much needed time off, but the crews, or "the guys in the shop" as their drivers like to call them, have little or no time off. In fact many teams were testing the week after the season ended on November 17. Robert Yates teammates Elliott Sadler and Dale Jarrett were testing next years cars and setups on November 19 and 20 which meant the guys in the shop had to have the cars ready and in route to the track before the season even ended. Open testing for all teams will be held in mid-January at Daytona, FL in preparation for the Daytona 500 on February 16.

This year’s points champion Tony Stewart has lived a whirlwind existence since the season ended and he locked up the championship. Stewart’s idea of relaxing is to race sprint cars. He has run several sprint car races the past two weeks, even winning the sprint car feature at the Turkey Night Grand Prix.

To further complicate Stewart’s schedule, the NASCAR Championship Banquet will be held this Friday, December 6 in New York City. Before Stewart claims his check, which will total over three million dollars, he is making numerous media and television visits including Regis and Kelly and The Today Show. Perhaps the highlight of his week, besides the check, was his visit to the White House and a visit with President Bush in the Oval Office. Stewart and Gibbs got to spend about fifteen minutes with the Commander in Chief and presented him with an autographed helmet during their meeting.

Just Jake Talkin'


Looks like it’s time to test the new ban on sleddin’ out at the golf course. From what I understand, yesterday there wasn’t much traffic lookin’ for a hill ta slide down.

For those who must, the hill in Muni Park by the old maintenance buildin’ is still open for the sliders. Just the golf course is off limits. If you’re not sure, ya might wanna check at the Parks Buildin’ ‘fore ya unload.

I’ve never used an inner tube for sleddin’, but it always looked like a good way ta go. ‘Course with the apparent lack of control, I’d want plenty of wide open space.

The biggest problem I have with gettin’ out the sled is not the danger, but the climb back up the hill. I’d like ta find a nice long hill, with a cleared road for the car ta come pick me up at the bottom. And, of course, heated socks.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.



Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column

Click & Clack

by Tom & Ray Magliozzi

Dear Tom and Ray:

I was amazed that the GM website could not answer my simple question: What is the best speed to achieve optimum miles per gallon for my ‘01 Pontiac Montana minivan? It even suggested that there’s nowhere I can go to get that piece of information. Come, now. You mean NO ONE has that information? Wouldn’t it be a simple matter of, say, the government hooking your car up to a testing machine and coming out with not just the best speed, but a line chart showing how higher and lower speeds make the vehicle progressively less fuel-efficient? I’d love to know, since I have a bit of a lead foot. But I’m also a cheapskate, so this information might help me modify my bad behavior, if you know what I mean. Thanks. — Gene.

TOM: Fear not, Gene. We have the answer. We know the exact speed at which your vehicle gets the maximum fuel economy.

RAY: Yeah, Zero. When it’s parked in the garage, with the engine off. You can’t do and better than that.

TOM: When it’s moving, it’s a little harder to determine the exact speed. It will vary depending on roads, the weather and whether the driver accelerates gently or drives like a knucklehead (hint, hint).

RAY: But if you’re looking for a pretty good estimate, here it is: What you want is the spot where the engine is moving slowly, yet the wheels are turning quickly. And that spot — the sweet spot — is the speed just after it shifts into its highest gear.


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