Today's Feature
Approved The Tractors.

A request for a tractor cruise to be held September 10 was approved by the Public Safety committee in their regular meeting this week. Convention and Visitor Bureau Director Teresa Gilliam asked the committee for permission to allow approximately 50 to 60 tractors to drive around three sides of the Carthage square. The parade-like procession would be part of an approximated 35 mile cruise beginning at Red Oak II and ending at Municipal Park.

Gilliam told the committee that a Jasper County Sheriff car would follow the parade and an escort vehicle with lights would precede the tractors. The event is to benefit the Jasper County Sheriff K9 unit. The estimated time of arrival on the square would be between 10:00 and 10:30 a.m. according to Gilliam.

The committee questioned the speed of an average tractor. Though no one from the committee was positive of a top-speed, it was estimated to be approximately 10 miles per hour. The committee also discussed the presence of the Farmer’s Market on the square and decided it not to be an issue as Gilliam was not requesting closure of the square.

Stench Report:
Wednesday,
08/17/05

Minor Stench on Tuesday Evening

The tractors I drove as a kid workin’ on farms weren’t made for cruisin’. One old John Deere had a metal seat with no springs and of course no power steerin’ and barely any brakes.

Now that doesn’t mean I didn’t see how fast I could go out on the gravel roads and still hold on. But I got uncomfortable pretty quick when a front tire hit a rut and started followin’ it. There is somethin’ about sittin’ on top of a couple tons of iron with a mind of its own that makes even an adolescent throttle down a mite.

I don’t know all the details but I’d assume there will be more than a few vintage tractors in the cruise comin’ around the Square. With the time and energy spent puttin’ these machines back in shape, I doubt we’ll see any hot roddin’ that mornin’.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Dear Tom and Ray:

We are a couple of old broads in our 70’s, both very hard-headed. My friend drives with her purse between her stomach and the steering wheel. I think this is probably very dangerous! I tried to tell her that when the air bag is deployed, it comes out with a great deal of force - enough to push her purse into her ribs or stomach and do major damage. Am I right to worry about my best bud, or am I just a worrywart? -Ouida

RAY: Well, we’re more worried about those big cigars she smokes, Ouida. One of those could end up down her gullet if the airbag deploys.

TOM: But you’re right about the purse. We checked with the air-bag experts at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, and they gave the purse position a thumbs-down. They’re concerned that it could interfere with the proper path of the air bag.

RAY: So I suppose, instead of heading directly for her chest, the purse could deflect the air bag upward, sending the force of it directly into her schnozola. Or the air bag could break the pocketbook, allowing apiece of it to cause her a nasty injury.

TOM: Not to mention the embarrassing possibility that she’d end up with the word "Prada" embossed, backward, on her abdomen.

RAY: And then there’s the factor of what’s in the bag. I know that old ladies, by regulation, are required to carry large quantities of facial tissues. But she probably carries some hard objects, like keys, a compact or even knitting needles.

TOM: So the best place for the bag is on the floor on the passenger side, or right next to her, between the front seats. Tell her if she has an emergency need for a tissue or a picture of her grandkids, you’ll be right there to provide an immediate assist, Ouida.

RACING
By Greg Zyla
Sponsored by Curry Automotive

Powder Puff Derbies Are Thing of the Past

Recently, I attended the ARCA 200 at Pocono Raceway and watched as Erin Crocker, noted female sprint driver, drove Ray Evernham’s Dodge Charger to an impressive third-place finish. (She’s in a driver development program).

The same weekend, IRL star Danica Patrick turned in her best competitive performance of the year at the Milwaukee Mile, passing car after car and lapping her teammates before crashing out later in the race. Both Crocker and Patrick are garnering headlines for their efforts, but let’s not be fooled into thinking that the feminine inspiration hasn’t been in racing until now.

Sara Christian, Louise Smith and Ethel Flock Mobley all raced in NASCAR’s premier Grand National division back in 1949.

According to recent ESPN research, women now account for 42 percent of NASCAR fans — up 6 percent since 1995. The dominating age group of the female fans is no surprise, as the 18- to 34-year-old group leads the demographic chart.

As for female on-track acceptance, the fact that the once-popular Powder Puff Derbies are now few and far between is an excellent indicator that women are being taken seriously as competent race drivers. Things aren’t perfect, but they are getting better.