Mornin' Mail

The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, September 13, 2005 Volume XIV, Number 60

Did Ya Know?... The Jasper County Courthouse will have a drop-off box for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Items needed include bottled water, non perishable food items, cleaning and personal hygiene products, etc. Donations will be accepted in the Courthouse and County employees will arrange for delivery to the victims.

Did Ya Know?. . .The McCune- Brooks Hospital Blood Pressure Clinic is open M-W-F from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Clinic is located at 2040 S. Garrison in the MBH Wellness Center. Call 358-0670 M-W-F for more information. BP Logbook available.

today's laugh

Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut off his arm. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon.
The surgeon said, "You’re in luck! I’m an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours." So Sam left and when he returned in four hours, the surgeon said, "I got done faster than I expected. John is down at the local pub."
Sam went to the pub, and there was John throwing darts.
A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again, and John cut his leg off. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the surgeon.
The surgeon said, "Legs are a littletougher. Come back in six hours."
Sam left and when he returned in six hours, the surgeon said, "I finished early. John’s down at the soccer field."
Sam went to the soccer field, and there was John kicking goals.
A few weeks later, John had a terrible accident and cut his head off. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon.
The surgeon said, "Gee, heads are really tough. Come back in twelve hours."
So sam left and when he returned in twelve hours the surgeon said, "I’m sorry, John died."
Sam said, "I understand, - heads are tough."
The surgeon said, "Oh, no. The surgery went fine! John suffocated in that plastic bag."

1905
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Fell From A Tree.

Peculiar Mishap to a Small Boy - From Fork to Fork Without Injury.

Ralph Bennett, son of A.P. Bennett, living in the northeast part of the city, met with a peculiar accident Sunday afternoon.

While playing hide-and-seek with a number of neighboring lads he climbed into a large maple tree to hide from his companions. He was near the top when a limb broke under his weight and he was precipitated downward rapidly. The noise of his falling attracted the attention of his playmates who stood helpless watching him fall.

From limb to limb he fell first head-foremost, then sidewise, and sometimes feet down. Each limb that he struck turned his body, until he struck the lower limb in a sitting posture and as the limb bent under his weight he slid gracefully and unhurt to the ground.

He arose laughing but pale. He wasnot hurt in the least, except for a few bruises of minor importance. His escape was little short of a miracle. In fact, his mother, who is a devout Holiness lady, says she knows it was a miracle and she is going to dedicate the lad’s future life to church work.

Dr. Burch Home Thursday.

Dr. E.J. Burch who has been in Colorado with his family for the past two weeks, expects to return this Thursday.

Today's Feature

TRIM Grant on Agenda.

Carthage City Council will meet this Thursday at 7:30 p.m. in the Council Chambers of City Hall. Council will hear the first reading of an ordinance concerning a Tree Resource Improvement and Maintenance (TRIM) Grant of as much as $10,000 for tree planting at Kellogg Lake. Thee ordinance is to be passed as an emergency measure moving through to second reading at the same meeting. The grant is a cooperative agreement with the Missouri Department of Conservation and is brought from the Public Services Committee.

Gas Prices Hurt City Departments.

The Budget/Ways and Means Committee discussed elevated gasoline prices at their last meeting. There was no quorum present and no official action was taken.

The figures through August show gas prices at 20 percent higher than last year. According to City Administrator Tom Short if the current rate continues the budget will fall short by $18 thousand. Departments in this case would need to begin taking money out of line items in their individual budgets to cover the cost of gasoline.

Letter To The Editor
Opinions expressed reflect those of the writer and not necessarily those of the Mornin' Mail

My name is Robin Holland. I am an evacuee from Mississippi. I am here with my two teenage daughters, my mother, sister, cousin, my mother’s companion and his son are here from Louisiana. First I would like to say thank you to the Tripletts for all of their kindness and the Von Holtens for providing a place for some of us to stay. We have come here with nothing but the clothes on our backs and have nothing to return to. The Triplett family have started a fund for us at the Arvest bank under the name of Robin R. Holland. Any donations would be greatly appreciated as we have nothing.

Stench Report:
Monday,
09/12/05

No Odor

Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin
I never knew exactly why they call it the "dog days of summer," but I’m certainly aware of what it is.

Poor animal gets all the blame.

Durin’ sports as a kid, the coach always accused players of "doggin’ it." That of course indicated someone who wasn’t puttin’ out a hunderd percent.

The most famous reference to the canine in recent times I suppose is the "Three Dog Night." I understand that is in reference to a night so cold ya gotta sleep with three dogs to keep warm. Comforting thought.

‘Course Mark Twain’s statement about someone referrin’ to Twain’s canine ancestry on his mother’s side of the family has been around a while.

I suppose bein’ man’s best friend isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.