The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, April 9, 2007 Volume XV, Number 207

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... Carthage Church of the Nazarene is holding a "Poor Man’s Lunch" on Friday, April 13th, in the multi-ministry center of the church, Fairview & Grand, Carthage from 11:30 to 1:30 (lunch) and 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. (dinner). Adult $3.50, Children $2.00. Carryouts and delivery available, public invited. Call 358-4265 for more info.

Did Ya Know?... The McCune-Brooks Hospital Auxiliary meeting will be held April 11th at 10 a.m. in the hospital cafeteria.

Did Ya Know?... An Eggs & Issues Legislative Forum will be held Friday, April 13th in the First Assembly of God Family Life Center 1605 Baker. $7 per person, payable at door. 7 a.m. breakfast; 7:30 a.m. program. Reservation deadline: Wednesday, April 11. Call Carthage Chamber of Commerce at 417-358-2327 or e-mail to

today's laugh

I swear the roaches in my apartment have military training. I set a roach bomb; they defused it. - Jay London

It amazes me that people still go to wax museums. Pay twenty-five dollars to see a six-foot tall Winston Churchill candle. And they always say, "It’s so lifelike." Lifelike and motionless cancel each other out. I’d only find a wax museum amusing if it was on fire. - Daniel Liebert

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Looking for a Son-in-Law.

E.G. Beem, of Mattoon, Ill., was here yesterday looking for W.N. Reid, of that city, who ought to be Beem’s son-in-law. Mr. Beem was here several weeks ago and started back to Mattoon with Reid, but the youngster gave the old man the slip and he thought the fellow had again come to Carthage, but he was not here this time.

Scared to Death.

A singular as well as unfortunate incident occurred at the railroad crossing west of the coal chute on Sunday. Mr. Cal. Head, of Georgia City, was driving a spirited horse and crossed the railroad just ahead of an approaching train, and as the train came on the horse made a few quick lunges and started to run, but Mr. head had control of him and soon brought him to a standstill when the animal dropped to the ground and died before the harness could be taken off him. Mr. Head thinks he was simply scared to death.


Today's Feature

Master Gardeners Recognized.

News release

Fifty-seven Master Gardeners were recognized recently for providing volunteer service to their local communities. Fifteen completed their Master Gardener certification by donating at least 30 hours. Another 42 maintained their certification by donating at least 20 hours during the past year.

Completing their Master Gardener certification are Mary Bethel, Carthage; Betty Bierkortte and Sherry Reed, Pierce City; Brent Bitner, Pittsburg KS; Paul and Sharon Duncan, Aurora; Gerald Gardner, Sarcoxie; Anna Guarino, Pedro J. Pantoja, Linda Spangler, and Sue Walters, Joplin; and Carole Hayes, Denise Kramme, Donna McDonald and Marti Shelton, Carl Junction.

Maintaining their certification are Glenita Browning, Beulah Courter, Jo Ellis, Judy Haigh, Gary Hansford, Jess and Peggy Kessinger, Susan Primm, Benita Shields, and Nina Von Holten, Carthage; Mary Ann Simrell, Sarcoxie; Doris Carson, Vicki Christensen, Vivian Cox, Mary Holtmeier, Valarie Ikerd, Dale Mermoud, Chuck and Sandra Plant, Kitty Ward, Ron Wood, and Marilyn Wylie, Joplin; Susie Cook, Debbie Fedie, Pat King, Terri Smith, and Edie Sullivan, Carl Junction; Brenda Beck, Cassville; Janet and Stan Bell, Wentworth; Pamela Brown and Linda Goodman, Oronogo; Gary and Judy Davis, Purdy; Doug Kauffman, Verona; Carol Kay, Monett; Susan Ball, Shirley Mitchell and Donna Whitehead, Seneca, Patty Poirot, Miller; and Diane and Richard Volk, Duenweg.

The Master Gardener program begins with approximately 30 hours of classroom instruction. At the end of the training program, the participants are asked to donate a minimum of 30 hours of volunteer service in their communities within the following year. To maintain the certification, they are asked to give at least 20 hours of service per year. During 2006, local Master Gardeners donated over 3,100 hours resulting in over 5,900 contacts.

For more information about the program, contact the Jasper County University of Missouri Extension Center in Carthage at 417-358-2158.

Stone’s Throw Auditions.

Auditions for the Musical All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten will be held at Stone’s Throw Theatre, Carthage, Mo. on April 9th and 10th at 7:00 p.m. The cast will include singing parts for 2 women and 3 men and a non-singing part for 1 man. A prepared song should be brought. A pianist will be available. The show is scheduled for May 31 & June 1, 2, 3 and 8, 9, 10, 2007 and will be directed by Linda Bailey. Musical Director is Clint Newby. For more information call 417-358-7268 or email

Just Jake Talkin'
If the weather would settle down and stay pleasant for a few days, I would consider draggin’ out the bicycle and gettin’ it ready to ride.

That usually consists of turnin’ the bike over on its handlebars and seat, givin’ the pedal a crank and reversin’ it ta check the brakes (I prefer the coaster brakes), oilin’ the chain and wheel bearin’s, and pumpin’ up that one tire that goes flat ever winter.

The real time consumin’ part is gettin’ the wheel straightened out. It takes practice to get the spokes adjusted just right.

I’ve always gotta tighten up the flashlight clamp too. I tried onea those generators that rub on the tire, but they make peddlin’ up hill pretty tough. I’ll stick with the flashlight. Least if ya have a flat and have ta walk home, you can see where you’re goin’.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Oldies & Oddities

This Is A Hammer
By Samantha Mazzotta

Carpet Won’t Lie Flat

Q: The wall-to-wall carpet in our condo has developed several small raised humps in the middle of each room. What would have caused this, and how can I get the carpet to lie flat again? -- Lawrence C., Watertown, Mass.

A: Newly installed carpeting has a tendency to stretch a bit, and everyday traffic shifts that carpeting around and creates ripples, or bumps. Improperly installed carpeting may also do this. If the carpeting was recently installed, contact the installation company. Most installers will correct any issues or re-stretch the carpet within a certain time frame.

If this is not possible, re-stretch the carpet yourself. You’ll need a couple of tools to do this properly: a sharp utility knife, a wide putty knife and a knee-kicker. This aptly named tool, available at carpet-supply stores or equipment rental centers, grips the carpet firmly and slides it into place with a jolt from your knee.

Remove furniture from the room and inspect the carpet, noting any damage or loose seams. Then, take your trusty putty knife and move to the side of the room. Carpet is generally tucked underneath the baseboard along the wall but not firmly attached; instead, a thin strip of wood with several metal pins jutting up out of it is placed about a half-inch from the baseboard and the carpet is laid on top of it. Use the putty knife to pry about a foot of carpet from under the baseboard, then lift the carpet edge off of the pin strip.

Use this pried-up portion to measure the depth of the prongs on the underside of the knee-kicker: they need to be long enough to grab the mesh carpet backing, without grabbing the padding underneath. Adjust the prongs using the knob on top of the kicker.

Move to a corner of the room where the carpet is firmly attached. Press the knee kicker prongs into the carpet about two inches from the baseboard. Thrust your knee straight into the kicker’s rubber cushion. Then, holding the kicker in position with your knee, use the putty knife to tuck the little bulge of carpet under the baseboard. Work your way around the room.

If the carpet bulges remain, or the carpet moves easily under the knee-kicker, use the utility knife to trim the edges of the carpet (do one side at a time between stretches, running the knife along the bottom of the baseboard), and then re-stretch and re-tuck until the bulges are gone.

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