The Mornin' Mail is
published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, August 8, 2007 Volume XVI, Number
Did Ya Know?... Spare
Cat Rescue will help pay for the spay or neuter
of your cat. Call for details. 417-358-6808.
Did Ya Know?... Carthage
Lodge No. 197, A.F. and A.M. will hold a regular
meeting Thursday, August 9, 2007 at 7:30 p.m.
(dinner and fellowship at 6:30 p.m. in the
Criterion Lodge #586 A.F. & A.M. in Alba, MO.
to elect officers for 2007-2008. All area
Freemasons are invited to attend.
Two ants were watching a duffer
tear up the golf course. One ant said to the
other, "Lets get on the ball before he
An IRS agent stormed into a
tiny delicatessen on a side street. Calling over
the owner, he said, "I have your returns
right here. How can you justify your travel
expenses? Four trips to Europe?"
The owner answered, "We deliver."
How come "fat chance"
and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
We had the laziest rooster. He
never crowed. Hed wait for the rooster next
door to crow, and hed just nod.
I bought a new watch the other
day that was waterproof, dustproof, shockproof
and guaranteed against theft. It caught on fire.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Jail Conditions and
It seems almost a miracle
that disease is not more prevalent and that some of the
prisoners do not actually die from the effects of a term
in jail and such would be the condition if not for the
care of Deputy Sheriff Plummer, who has charge of the
jail. The cage is scrubbed thoroughly once and often
twice daily with disinfectants used liberally. Two
prisoners are in the jail suffering from gunshot wounds;
Harry Needles, who was shot in the leg at Springfield
while endeavoring to escape from an officer, and Jim
McAfee, who was wounded in the leg and shoulder in an
attempted holdup at Joplin. McAfee concealed the fact
that he was wounded until he was on his way to Carthage
and stuffed tobacco into his wounds to prevent bleeding.
The tobacco cure seems to be a good thing as he is
recovering rapidly. Both men have been furnished cots and
are kept in the "bull ring" or corridor which
surrounds the cage.
Committee Approves Repairs.
The City Council Public
Services Committee met Monday evening in a
regular session. The meeting was held outside the
maintenance barn at Fair Acres as part of an
ongoing tour of the City parks system.
The committee approved a motion
to accept a bid for the repair of a pillar at
Carter Park from Hodkin Masonry Construction LLC
in the amount of $2,215. Several months ago one
of the pillars at the southeast entrance to the
park was damaged by a shipping truck. The party
responsible for the damage was contacted and has
agreed to reimburse the City for the repair
The committee also approved a
motion to forward to Council a contract with the
Missouri Department of Transportation for a
public transportation grant. In this contract,
which is the same as has been used for many
years, MODOT will pay half of the losses incurred
by the City taxi $76,380. program. The City will
pay the other half. The total cost listed for the
operation of the taxi program is Passenger fees
generated approximately $26,000. The remainder,
$50,380, is divided between MODOT and the City,
who will each contribute $25,190.
The process of gettin your drivers
license has been streamlined compared with years
The most time
spent is from decidin on whether or not ya
want your social security number on your license,
whether or not ya wanna be an organ donor, do ya
want your vital statistics sold to some mail
order house, stuff like that. I was totally
unprepared to have ta think durin the
renewal process so it caught me a little off
The upside to all the time
savin gadgets they use to get you in the
system is ya walk out with a pretty nifty
lookin license (if you except the subject
matter of the photo in my case) and the routine
only takes a few minutes. I was given a second
chance at the photo. Didnt take it, but
later wondered why it was offered.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
Here's A Tip
By JoAnn Derson
"novel" tip from H.L. in Louisiana:
"I had a stroke of brilliance last month and
I had to share. Using simple wallpaper adhesive,
I wallpapered an alcove in my study, baseboard to
ceiling, with the pages of a favorite, though
badly damaged novel. I couldnt bear just to
throw the book away, so I used the good pages on
the wall. The effect is wonderful and certainly
interesting to visitors."
"If you have
trouble opening a vacuum-sealed jar, try tapping
lightly around the perimeter with the handle of a
butter knife. You can also tap the perimeter on
the edge of the counter, but be careful not to
accidentally break the glass. It should loosen it
up enough to open because it weakens the vacuum
seal. This also should teach you not to jostle
jars in the pantry." -- F.W. in Minnesota
"If you are
purchasing school supplies (hopefully on sale),
why not pick up a few extra items to give to the
teacher or a local school-supply charity
organization? There are many children whose
brains are willing but whose budgets are weak. We
all must do what we can to help educate the
children." -- A former teacher in North
To clean stuffed
animals, wipe off any stains as best you can
(spray-on oxygen cleaners work well), then put
them together in a pillowcase. Knot or otherwise
close the case, and put in a dryer on a no-heat
setting until dry. You can set them out in the
sun to air out if they have any odor.
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