The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, August 8, 2007 Volume XVI, Number 37

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... Spare Cat Rescue will help pay for the spay or neuter of your cat. Call for details. 417-358-6808.

Did Ya Know?... Carthage Lodge No. 197, A.F. and A.M. will hold a regular meeting Thursday, August 9, 2007 at 7:30 p.m. (dinner and fellowship at 6:30 p.m. in the Criterion Lodge #586 A.F. & A.M. in Alba, MO. to elect officers for 2007-2008. All area Freemasons are invited to attend.

today's laugh

Two ants were watching a duffer tear up the golf course. One ant said to the other, "Let’s get on the ball before he kills us!"

An IRS agent stormed into a tiny delicatessen on a side street. Calling over the owner, he said, "I have your returns right here. How can you justify your travel expenses? Four trips to Europe?"
The owner answered, "We deliver."

How come "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

We had the laziest rooster. He never crowed. He’d wait for the rooster next door to crow, and he’d just nod.

I bought a new watch the other day that was waterproof, dustproof, shockproof and guaranteed against theft. It caught on fire.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Jail Conditions and Jailors.

It seems almost a miracle that disease is not more prevalent and that some of the prisoners do not actually die from the effects of a term in jail and such would be the condition if not for the care of Deputy Sheriff Plummer, who has charge of the jail. The cage is scrubbed thoroughly once and often twice daily with disinfectants used liberally. Two prisoners are in the jail suffering from gunshot wounds; Harry Needles, who was shot in the leg at Springfield while endeavoring to escape from an officer, and Jim McAfee, who was wounded in the leg and shoulder in an attempted holdup at Joplin. McAfee concealed the fact that he was wounded until he was on his way to Carthage and stuffed tobacco into his wounds to prevent bleeding. The tobacco cure seems to be a good thing as he is recovering rapidly. Both men have been furnished cots and are kept in the "bull ring" or corridor which surrounds the cage.


Today's Feature

Services Committee Approves Repairs.

The City Council Public Services Committee met Monday evening in a regular session. The meeting was held outside the maintenance barn at Fair Acres as part of an ongoing tour of the City parks system.

The committee approved a motion to accept a bid for the repair of a pillar at Carter Park from Hodkin Masonry Construction LLC in the amount of $2,215. Several months ago one of the pillars at the southeast entrance to the park was damaged by a shipping truck. The party responsible for the damage was contacted and has agreed to reimburse the City for the repair costs.

The committee also approved a motion to forward to Council a contract with the Missouri Department of Transportation for a public transportation grant. In this contract, which is the same as has been used for many years, MODOT will pay half of the losses incurred by the City taxi $76,380. program. The City will pay the other half. The total cost listed for the operation of the taxi program is Passenger fees generated approximately $26,000. The remainder, $50,380, is divided between MODOT and the City, who will each contribute $25,190.

Just Jake Talkin'
The process of gettin’ your driver’s license has been streamlined compared with years past.

The most time spent is from decidin’ on whether or not ya want your social security number on your license, whether or not ya wanna be an organ donor, do ya want your vital statistics sold to some mail order house, stuff like that. I was totally unprepared to have ta think durin’ the renewal process so it caught me a little off guard.

The upside to all the time savin’ gadgets they use to get you in the system is ya walk out with a pretty nifty lookin’ license (if you except the subject matter of the photo in my case) and the routine only takes a few minutes. I was given a second chance at the photo. Didn’t take it, but later wondered why it was offered.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Mornin' Mail

Here's A Tip
By JoAnn Derson

• Here’s a "novel" tip from H.L. in Louisiana: "I had a stroke of brilliance last month and I had to share. Using simple wallpaper adhesive, I wallpapered an alcove in my study, baseboard to ceiling, with the pages of a favorite, though badly damaged novel. I couldn’t bear just to throw the book away, so I used the good pages on the wall. The effect is wonderful and certainly interesting to visitors."

• "If you have trouble opening a vacuum-sealed jar, try tapping lightly around the perimeter with the handle of a butter knife. You can also tap the perimeter on the edge of the counter, but be careful not to accidentally break the glass. It should loosen it up enough to open because it weakens the vacuum seal. This also should teach you not to jostle jars in the pantry." -- F.W. in Minnesota

• "If you are purchasing school supplies (hopefully on sale), why not pick up a few extra items to give to the teacher or a local school-supply charity organization? There are many children whose brains are willing but whose budgets are weak. We all must do what we can to help educate the children." -- A former teacher in North Carolina

• To clean stuffed animals, wipe off any stains as best you can (spray-on oxygen cleaners work well), then put them together in a pillowcase. Knot or otherwise close the case, and put in a dryer on a no-heat setting until dry. You can set them out in the sun to air out if they have any odor.

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