The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, June 5, 2007 Volume XV, Number 247

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... Advanced tickets for the June 8 Faris Family Concert are available at the Powers Museum and Oldies and Oddities Mall on the Square. Tickets are $7 or adults, under 12 free.

Did Ya Know?... Spare Cat Rescue will help pay for the spay or neuter of your cat. Call for details. 417-358-6808.

Did Ya Know?... The sixth annual Kids Fishing Day will be held Saturday, June 9th from 8:00 a.m. until noon on at Kellogg Lake in Carthage, Missouri.

Did Ya Know?... Kelcey Schlichting, a local blind 5th grader is a finalist in the 7th annual National Braille Challenge to be held in Los Angeles, June 22 & 23. An account has been established at SMB bank to help raise funds for her transportation and food on the trip. Donations can be made at any SMB location.

today's laugh

They certainly are nice people around here. When I first got here, the usher threw me out the side entrance for sitting in the wrong place. I said: "See here, I come from an old aristocratic family!" Then the usher came outside, picked me up, brought me back in and threw me out the front entrance.

Foreman: Hey, Johnson, the new guy is doing twice the work you’re doing.

Johnson: I keep telling him to slow down, sir, but you can’t teach him anything.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Party for Mrs. Close.

Mrs. Close, of St. Louis, was the guest of honor at a bid euchre party yesterday afternoon given by Mrs. F. A. Dickey of Howard street. The game was followed by an elaborate luncheon. Mrs. Secy Waddell won the first honors at cards and Mrs. J. P. Leggett won the consolation. Those present were; Mesdames - Paul Davey, A.N. Morton, J.E. Lang, J.B. Tillman, J.P. Leggett, A.W. Munday, J.T. McGarvey and Lon Ashcraft; Misses - Secy Waddell and Lillian Schooler.

A Drilling Outfit Annihilated.

The Missouri Pacific pay train collided with Will Kirkpatrick’s drilling outfit which was crossing the tracks in the outskirts of Joplin yesterday afternoon. The drill was annihilated and the locomotive was also considerably damaged.

Mrs. Mabel Shivers went to Lamar yesterday evening on a visit.


Today's Feature

Photo Display at Powers Museum.

A special exhibit is currently on display at the Powers Museum, 1617 West Oak Street, in conjunction with the upcoming Carthage Acoustic Music Festival which will be held June 8 and 9. The special traveling exhibit, entitled "Grand Ole Opry" features 30 photographs by Gordon Gillingham of musicians playing at the Grand Ole Opry from 1952 through 1960. The exhibit is made possible by the Mid-American Art Alliance, the Community Foundation of the Ozarks, the Carthage Council on the Arts and the Community Foundation of Southwest Missouri.

The display is arranged so that viewers may guess the names of the performers featured in the photographs to fill out a "label game" sheet. The sheets may then be entered in a drawing for a free book; The Ozarks Greatest Hits by Wayne Glenn. The exhibit will be on display through June 17th in the museum.

The Ozarks Plateau Initiative is a project of Mid-America Arts Alliance with the Community Foundation of the Ozarks, the Missouri Arts Council, and the National Endowment for the Arts.

The Powers Museum is open Tuesday through Saturday, 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

Public Works Meeting Today.

The City Council Public Works Committee will meet this afternoon at 4:30 p.m. in the Council Chambers of City Hall. Items on the agenda include the discussion of a demolition and removal of a structure at 115 E. Mound Street, discussion of an alley vacation south of Vine Street between Short and Locust Streets, and a discussion of the contract with Sprenkle & Associates, the contract engineer for the City.

Just Jake Talkin'

When I was learnin’ how ta do some fishin’ back when, I saw this fishin’ lure that was made ta look like a frog. Now, I supposed that fish liked frogs, specially one that looked as real as the one I ended up buyin’.

When I got to the pond, it worked great. It was nice and heavy, made outa soft plastic that wiggled a lot. Legs flopped around, looked like a delicious frog to me.

With a little practice, I could pull up and release, the frog looked as natural as could be. I got so good that I was even foolin’ the other frogs. But evidently not the fish. Never even got a nibble.

I complained that the fish weren’t bitin’, but maybe they just didn’t have the sophisticated taste for such an uptown frog. Prob’ly coulda done better with a rotted net than I did with that fake frog.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Mornin' Mail

To Your Good Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.

Viral Ear Infection Makes People Dizzy

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I have been looking every day for an answer to my question: What is a virus infection of the inner ear that causes dizziness? My ears were checked for wax and fluid, and they have neither. An MRI of my brain showed nothing wrong. I am so afraid of another attack, especially when I might be away from home. What are the chances of that? -- K.K.

ANSWER: The inner ear houses our balance organ. That organ is like a carpenter’s level, which has a tube filled with fluid in which there is a bubble. If the carpenter has a board in perfect alignment, the bubble is in the center of the tube. When we are in perfect balance, as we are most of the time, our balance organ sends a clear signal to the brain that all is well. When the balance organ is on the fritz, it bombards the brain with confusing information, and that makes a person dizzy. It’s a bit like being constantly seasick.

One of the common causes of such imbalance is a viral infection of the inner ear, which often follows on the heels of a cold or a similar respiratory infection. The illness is called vestibular neuritis. It’s also called labyrinthitis.

Once the inner-ear irritation quiets down, the dizziness leaves. That can take a number of weeks. An antihistamine such as meclizine (Antivert) can make symptoms less formidable. Some doctors favor giving prednisone (a powerful anti-inflammation medicine) at the onset of symptoms.

Could it come back? It’s unlikely to come back again, even if you live the same number of years you have already lived.

to his SON.

by George Horace Lorimer
First published October, 1902

Being the Letters written by John Graham, Head of the House of Graham & Company, Pork-Packers in Chicago, familiarly known on ‘Change as "Old Gorgon Graham," to his Son, Pierrepont, facetiously known to his intimates as "Piggy."

No. 4
FROM John Graham, at the Union Stock Yards in Chicago, to his son, Pierrepont, at Harvard University.
Mr. Pierrepont finds Cambridge to his liking, and has suggested that he take a post-graduate course to fill some gaps which he has found in his education.

June 25, 189_

Dear Pierrepont: Your letter of the seventh twists around the point a good deal like a setter pup chasing his tail. But I gather from it that you want to spend a couple of months in Europe before coming on here and getting your nose in the bullring. Of course, you are your own boss now and you ought to be able to judge better than any one else how much time you have to waste, but it seems to me, on general principles, that a young man of twenty-two, who is physically and mentally sound, and who hasn’t got a dollar and has never earned one, can’t be getting on somebody’s pay-roll too quick. And in this connection it is only fair to tell you that I have instructed the cashier to discontinue your allowance after July 15. That hives you two weeks for a vacation - enough to make a sick boy well, or a lazy one lazier.

I hear a good deal about men who won’t take vacations, and who kill themselves by overwork, but it’s usually worry or whiskey. It’s not what a man does during working hours, but after them, that breaks down his health. A fellow and his business should be bosom friends in the office and sworn enemies out of it. A clear mind is one that is swept clean of business at six o’clock every night and isn’t opened up for it again until after the shutters are taken down next morning.

Some fellows leave the office at night and start out to whoop it up with the boys, and some go home to sit up with their troubles - they’re both in bad company. They’re the men who are always needing vacations, and never getting any good out of them. What every man does need once a year is a change of work - that is, if he has been curved up over a desk for fifty weeks and subsisting on birds and burgundy, he ought to take to fishing for a living and try bacon and eggs, with a little spring water, for dinner. But coming from Harvard to the packing-house will give you change enough this year to keep you in good trim, even if you didn’t have a fortnight’s leeway to run loose.

You will always find it a safe rule to take a thing just as quick as it is offered - especially a job. It is never easy to get one except when you don’t want it; but when you have to get work, and go after it with a gun, you’ll find it as shy as an old crow that every farmer in the county has had a shot at.

When I was a young fellow and out of a place, I always made it a rule to take the first job that offered, and to use it for bait. You can catch a minnow with a worm, and a bass will take your minnow. A good fat bass will tempt an otter, and then you’ve got something worth skinning. Of course, there’s no danger of your not being able to get a job with the house - in fact, there is no real way in which you can escape getting one; but I don’t like to see you shy off every time the old man gets close to you with the halter.

I want you to learn right at the outset not to play with the spoon before you take the medicine. Putting off an easy thing makes it hard, and putting off a hard one makes it impossible. Procrastination is the longest word in the language, but there’s only one letter between its ends when they occupy their proper places in the alphabet.

Old Dick Stover, for whom I once clerked in Indiana, was the worst hand at procrastinating that I ever saw. Dick was a powerful hearty eater, and no one ever loved meal-time better, but he used to keep turning over in bed mornings for just another wink and staving off getting up, until finally his wife combined breakfast and dinner on him, and he only got two meals a day. He was a mighty religious man, too, but he got to putting off saying his prayers until after he was in bed, and then he would keep passing them along until his mind was clear of worldly things, and in the end he would drop off to sleep without saying them at all. What between missing the Sunday morning service and never being seen on his knees, the first thing Dick knew he was turned out of the church. He had a pretty good business when I first went with him, but he would keep putting of firing his bad clerks until they had lit out with the petty cash; and he would keep putting off raising the salaries of his good ones until his competitor had hired them away. Finally, he got so that he wouldn’t discount his bills, even when he had the money; and when they came due he would give notes so as to keep from paying out his cash a little longer. Running a business on those lines is, of course, equivalent to making a will in favor of the sheriff and committing suicide so that he can inherit. The last I heard of Dick he was ninety-three years old and just about to die. That was ten years ago, and I’ll bet he’s living yet. I simply mention Dick in passing as an instance of how habits rule a man’s life.

There is one excuse for every mistake a man can make, but only one. When a fellow makes the same mistake twice he’s got to throw up both hands and own up to carelessness or cussedness. Of course, I knew that you would make a fool of yourself pretty often when I sent you to college, and I haven’t been disappointed. But I expected you to narrow down the number of combinations possible by making a different sort of a fool of yourself every time. That is the important thing, unless a fellow has too lively an imagination, or has none at all. Your are bound to try this European foolishness sooner or later, but if you will wait a few years, you will approach it in an entirely different spirit - and you will come back with a good deal of respect for the people who have sense enough to stay at home.

I piece out from your letter that you expect a few months on the other side will sort of put a polish on you. I don’t want to seem pessimistic, but I have seen hundreds of boys graduate from college and go over with the same idea, and they didn’t bring back a great deal except a few trunks of badly fitting clothes. Seeing the world is like charity - it covers a multitude of sins, and, like charity, it ought to begin at home.

Culture is not a matter of a change of climate. You’ll hear more about Browning to the square foot in the Mississippi Valley than you will in England. And there’s as much Art talk on the Lake front as in the Latin Quarter. It may be a little different, but it’s there.

I went to Europe once myself. I was pretty raw when I left Chicago, and I was pretty sore when I got back. Coming and going I was simply sick. In London, for the first time in my life, I was taken for an easy thing. Every time I went into a store there was a bull movement. The clerks all knocked off their regular work and started in to mark up prices.

They used to tell me that they didn’t have any gold-brick men over there. So they don’t. They deal in pictures - old masters, they call them. I bought two - you know the ones - those hanging in the waiting-room at the stock yards; and when I got back I found out that they had been painted by a measly little fellow who went to Paris to study art, after Bill Harris had found out that he was no good as a settling clerk. I keep ‘em to remind myself that there’s no fool like an old American fool when he gets this picture paresis.

The fellow who tried to fit me out with a coat-of-arms didn’t find me so easy. I picked mine when I first went into business for myself - a charging steer - and it’s registered at Washington. It’s my trademark, of course, and that’s the only coat-of-arms an American merchant has any business with. It’s penetrated to every quarter of the globe in the last twenty years, and every soldier in the world has carried it - in his knapsack.

I take just as much pride in it as the fellow who inherits his and can’t find any place to put it, except on his carriage door and his letter-head - and it’s a heap more profitable. It’s got so now that every jobber in the trade knows that it stands for good quality, and that’s all any Englishman’s coat-of-arms can stand for. Of course, an American’s can’t stand for anything much - generally it’s the burned-in-the-skin brand of a snob.

After the way some of the descendants of the old New York Dutchmen with the hoe and the English general storekeepers have turned out, I sometimes feel a little uneasy about what my great-grandchildren may do, but we’ll just stick to the trade-mark and try to live up to it while the old man’s in the saddle.

I simply mention these things in a general way. I have no fears for you after you’ve been at work for a few years, and have struck an average between the packing-house and Harvard; then if you want to graze over a wider range it can’t hurt you. But for the present you will find yourself pretty busy trying to get into the winning class.

Your affectionate father,

John Graham.

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