today's
laugh
Questions With No Answers
Why is it that two wrongs don't make a
right, but three rights make a left?
If it's a penny for your thoughts, why
does everyone put their two cents in?
How come there's an expiration date on
sour cream?
How come it's a pair of pants, but only
one bra?
When the guy invented cottage cheese,
how did he know it?
Why do we play at a recital and recite
at a play?
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
ALL IN A COW'S STOMACH.
Twenty Ounces of Nails, Scrap Iron and
Rocks
Killed a Carthage Cow.
Kansas City was all excited sometime
since over the exploits of a human ostrich, whose habit
of swallowing barlow knives caused his death there, but
now Carthage has a cow which shows up as great a
performer in that line as the human ostrich. Like the
ostrich, she is dead, having departed this life
yesterday.
She was the property of Mrs. Robinson,
a widow who lives on Clinton street, and was a valuable
milch cow until she fell into the rock and nail eating
habit. That killed her.
When she was dead, T. B. Metcalf, a
veterinary surgeon of 28 years' practice, performed an
autopsy to see what killed her. When the animal's stomach
was removed the cause of her death was clear. It
contained a mixed assortment of old junk, which weighed
just a pound and a quarter.
An inventory reveals that fact that
there is in the collection nine rocks ranging in size
from that of a hickory nut to an egg, only of irregular
shape; fifteen pebbles of all sizes; nineteen nails, also
of all sizes and all degrees of crookedness, most of them
wire; an iron washer as big as a dollar; a piece of
colored glass about the same size; two pieces of scrap
iron; a 2-inch screw and a copper rivet.
Mr. Metcalf says in all his experience
he never saw anything to equal it. He accounts for the
nails, scrap iron, etc., by the theory that the cow ate
them with bran, but where she got the rocks is a poser,
and he does not attempt to answer it.
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Today's Feature Parks Get A Boost.
The Carthage Parks and
Recreation Board met Wednesday evening at City
Hall Chambers. Among topics discussed were the
bids for new playground equipment that will be
funded by a grant from the Boylan Foundation, and
an initial estimate of costs for expanding the
facilities at Fair Acres.
A bid of $19,833 for the
Municipal Park playground equipment was accepted
by the board. Additional costs may be involved in
the installation and preparation.
The Fair Acres Expansion would
bring the girls softball fields to the complex.
Parks Superintendent Alan Bull has gathered
information as to the estimated total cost of the
project which totals just over $1 million. Some
of the work may be done at a lessor cost, but
Bull says the Board wanted a starting point to
begin plans for funding.
Board member Richard Cambell
has indicated that the Steadley Foundation will
be approached to assist in funding, but the City
would also need to be involved. He told the Board
that he felt this would be a three to four year
project for the Steadley Foundation.
Fair Acres Girls Softball
Complex.
The following is a list of the
estimated costs of expanding Fair Acres
facilities.
Dirt work, clearing, leveling,
grading; $250,000
Concession Stand: 20x40 $75,000
Field lights, fixtures, poles,
labor $153,000
Perimeter security fencing,
6,713 feet `$114,121
Dugouts, roofs $11,000
Dugouts, concrete pads, (8)
$1,080
Electric line extensions, 1,080
feet $4,320
Sewer line extensions, 600 feet
$18,000
Water main extension, 1,155
feet $26,000
Walking trail 3/4 mile long,
base rock, and 3/4 mile asphalt $15,334
Parking Lots, base rock and
prep $167,000
Parking lots, double chip and
seal $174,000
Hose reel irrigation guns, two
$9,000
Backstop and foul line fencing
$42,000
Seed, fertilizer, all thirty
acres $12,060
Drinking fountains, dugouts,
(8) $1,200
Bleachers, 4 $2,600
Concrete pads for bleachers,
(8) $1,920
Extend irrigation lines $3,500
Electric and control wires for
score boards $4,300
Asphalt / crushed rock between
softball fields $9,900
Total
$1,100,785
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Most would prob'ly think
that frustration comes from lack of ability
or ignorance of a particular subject. The
real basis of frustration comes from not
bein' able to accomplish somethin' that is
perceived to be within reach.
For those of who know the
frustration of tryin' to repair some type of
machine and bein' confronted by rusty bolts
or inadequate tools, there is always the
satisfaction of venting the anger with the
primitive, but effective, shade tree hammer
throw.
'Course thowin' tools isn't
near as therapeutic as the havin' to walk out
in the yard to retrieve the instrument. This
is especially true 'cause there seems to be a
direct mathematical relationship between how
important the tool is to completin' the job
and the distance it lands from the job site.
It does seem that with
maturity comes the wisdom of just takin' the
walk and not endangering the neighborhood
pets with the tool toss.
This insight usually comes
after a forgotten hammer inflicts mortal
damage to the lawn mower.
This is some fact, but
mostly, Just Jake Talkin'.
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| Sponsored by
Oak Street health & herbs
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Weekly Column
Natural Nutrition
by Mari An Willis
As stated in last week's
column, hepatitis is a serious virus, and since
it effects the liver, it would be wise to promote
a healthy liver. Keeping ones body healthy and
active is a key to prevention. The following
herbs have traditionally been used to nourish the
liver; and are meant in no way to encourage you
to rely solely on them if you have been exposed
to hepatitis. I personally believe if one is at
high risk you should be immunized. These are for
informational purposes only. Consult your
physician if you display any symptoms or feel you
may have been exposed.
1. Milk Thistle. According to
Dr. Michael Murray, the extract from the seeds of
the milk thistle "stimulate regeneration of
liver cells and protects them from toxic
injury."
2. Schizandra. The dried
berries are the part which contain the activity
for liver improvement. This Chinese plant is said
to promote healing of the liver in general.
3. Dandelion. This common
American herb has a folk reputation for
"fixing what ails you." This herb is
high in minerals and benefits the function of the
liver.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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