The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, January 8, 2008 Volume XVI, Number 142

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?... Curbside cleanup of fallen branches will continue through February 1. Limbs will be collected only from the City right-of-way, directly behind the curb line. No collections will be made from private property. Citizens wishing to have limbs removed are encouraged to move debris to the right-of-way. For more information call the Public Works Department at 237-7010.

Did Ya Know?... The Carthage Public Library’s Wednesday morning story time will resume on January 9th, and Young Adult Book Discussion Group will meet on January 8th at 4:00 p.m.

today's laugh

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard the facts of both sides. Mr. Brown had a public fight with Mr. Smith. Mr. Brown had in his possession at the time one butcher knife, two razors, brass knuckles, and a blackjack. Mr. Smith had on his person, one sickle, one hatchet, two meat saws, a cleaver and an icepick. Both men plead ‘Not Guilty,’ each asserting a plea of self-defense. I judge you have reached a verdict."
"We have, your honor."
"And that verdict..."
"We, the jury, would have cheerfully paid one dollar per man to have seen the fight."

Some men are known by their deeds, others by their mortgages.

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Train Nine Hours Late.

The Missouri Pacific passenger train due here at 3:20 yesterday afternoon was nine hours late. The delay was caused by a serious wreck at Lee’s Summit, at a place called "Dead Man’s Curve." Three persons were killed and fifty injured.

Leave Tonight for Europe.

Mr. and Mrs. E. O’Keefe leave tonight for Philadelphia, Pa., and will sail from there next Saturday for Queenstown. From there they go first to Belfast, Ireland, where they will visit a brother of Mr. O’Keefe. They will be in Europe about two months.

Carthage Stone In Kansas City.

There is now being built in Kansas City a six story hotel which will cost when completed $250,000. Carthage stone is being used from top to bottom. E.C. Thym as the stone contract.


Today's Feature

Assessor Mails Personal Property Forms.

News release

Jasper County Assessor has mailed forms to property owners for listing their personal property which is subject to assessment for the 2008 assessment year.

By March 1, 2008, every owner or holder of personal property must report, on the form provided by the assessor, all taxable personal property which was owned or held by the person or business on January 1, 2008.

"Every year a few property owners forget to return their lists," Don Davis said, "so we make every effort to remind people to return them on time."

Those not returning a completed list to the assessor by the March first deadline are subject to a penalty.

"Penalties range from $10 to $100 depending upon the value of the property and the statutes provide the assessor with almost no discretion to waive the penalties," Davis said. According to the assessor, until recently, few penalties were applied and the lists were commonly filed late. These statutes were toughened in 1994, and compliance with the law increased dramatically.

The assessor advises that the best way to remember to return the list on time and avoid a penalty is to fill it out, sign it and put it in the mail the same day you receive it. It is also helpful for the property owners to copy the completed and signed form and keep a copy with their records. If a question arises regarding filing, the copy will indicate the form was completed.

Property owners or lessees who have not received lists are not excused from filing and should contact the assessor for a blank form at Jasper County Assessor’s Office, 302 S. Main St., Carthage, MO or at 417-358-0437 or 417-625-4355.

Council Meets This Evening.

The Carthage City Council will meet this evening at 7:30 p.m. in the Council Chambers of City Hall. Items on the agenda include the second reading of an ordinance amending the budget to appropriate an additional $27,250 to the Carthage Public Library for increased operating expenses.

New Reporting Requirements.

News release

In 2008, for the first time, owners of manufactured home parks, manufactured home storage facilities, marinas or any hangars will be required to report to the county assessor information regarding certain personal property located at their facilities. Failure to report the property could result in the property being assessed against the facility owner and the assessment of a penalty.

According to the new statute, section 137.092, RSMo, the owner of such facility must report to the county assessor by January 30th of each year certain personal property owned by others that is located at the facility. The personal property that must be reported is any house trailer, manufactured home, boat, vessel, floating home, floating structure, airplane, or aircraft. The list of personal property must be accompanied by the name and address of the owner of the personal property, the county of residence of the owner, if known, and a description of the personal property.

If the owner of the facility fails to timely report or fails to include all of the information, the assessor may assess the property to the owner of the facility and assess a penalty ranging from $10 to $100 based upon the value of the property not reported.

Just Jake Talkin'
I suppose one of the handiest tools to have around is a pipe wrench.

A good sturdy one can be used for ‘bout most anythin’. ‘Course, it is built for putting’ pipes together with couplers and takin’ ‘em apart again. It’s a specific tool built for a specific thing. Over the years however, those of us that have happened to be caught in the right circumstances have come up with other ingenious methods of testin’ the durability and flexibility of this simple device.

They usually have a little weight to ‘em and naturally get picked up whenever a little bigger hammer is necessary. They work great for poundin’ in a fence post in a pinch. Because of their size, they are a little awkward for fine work, but I’ve even seen the imaginative shade treers manipulate a 36" pipe wrench ta work on their pocket watch.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Mornin' Mail

To Your Good Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.

Cholesterol Isn’t Good or Bad

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I would like to know about cholesterol. What part of the body makes it? Does it make bad as well as good cholesterol? What foods contain bad and good cholesterol? -- B.A.

ANSWER: Cholesterol is cholesterol; there is no good or bad. Most cholesterol is made in the liver. Cholesterol foods contribute only a minor fraction to total blood cholesterol. Saturated fat stimulates liver production of cholesterol. Saturated fat is the fat that surrounds meat and the fat that’s found in whole-milk dairy products. Cholesterol has important body functions. It’s a part of every cell’s membrane.

Because cholesterol doesn’t dissolve in water, it has to be modified to be transported in the blood from the liver to distant body sites. The modification consists in hitching it to lipoproteins - part fat, part protein molecules. Lipoproteins can be though of as trucks.

LDL (low density lipoprotein) takes cholesterol to arteries, where it dumps it. LDL cholesterol infiltrates the artery wall and eventually builds an obstruction in the artery. This is "bad" cholesterol. The lower the LDL cholesterol, the better off arteries are.

HDL (high density lipoprotein) transports cholesterol from artery walls and takes it back to the liver, where it is degraded. It’s "good" cholesterol. The higher the HDL cholesterol, the better off arteries are.

Dietary changes can increase HDL cholesterol and lower LDL cholesterol. Eat a diet that emphasizes fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Minimize the intake of saturated fats. Low-fat dairy products are good. Avoid trans fats. Trans fats are listed on food label. Lose weight, if need be. Exercise daily.


More Letters from
a Self-Made
to His Son

by George Horace Lorimer

First Published 1903

From John Graham, head of the house of Graham & Company, pork packers, in Chicago, familiarly known on ‘Change as Old Gorgon Graham, to his son, Pierrepont, at the Union Stock Yards.

No. 10
From John Graham, at Mount Clematis, Michigan, to his son, Pierrepont, at the Union Stock Yards, Chicago. The young man has done famously during the first year of his married life, and the old man has decided to give him a more important position.



I remember one boy who organized a secret society, called the Mysterious League. It held meetings in our big vault, which they called the donjon keep, and, naturally, when one of them was going on, boys were scarcer around the office than hen’s teeth. The object of the league, as I shook it out of the head leaguer by the ear, was to catch the head bookkeeper, whom the boys didn’t like, and whom they called the black caitiff, alone in the vault some night while he was putting away his books, slam the door, and turn the combination on him. Tucked away in a corner of the vault, they had a message for him, written in red ink, on a sheep’s skull, telling him to tremble, that he was in the hands of the Mysterious League, and that he would be led at midnight to the torture chamber. I learned afterward that when the bookkeeper had reached in his desk to get a pen, a few days before, he had pulled out a cold, clammy, pickled pig’s foot, on which was printed: "Beware! first you will lose a leg!"

I simply mention the Mysterious League in passing. Of course, boys will be boys, but you mustn’t let them be too cussed boyish during business hours. A slow boy can waste a lot of the time of a five-thousand-dollar man whose bell he’s answering; and a careless boy can mislay a letter or drop a paper that will ball up the work of the most careful man in the office.

It’s really harder to tell what you’re getting when you hire a boy than when you hire a man. I found that out for keeps a few years ago, when I took on the Angel Child. He was the son of rich parents, who weren’t quite rich enough to buy chips and sit in the game of the no-limit millionaires. So they went in for what they called the simple life. I want to say right here that I’m a great believer in the simple life, but some people are so blamed simple about it that they’re idiotic. The world is full of rich people who talk about leading the simple life when they mean the stingy life. They are the kind that are always giving poorer people a chance to chip in an even share with them toward defraying the expenses of the charities and the entertainments which they get up. They call it "affording those in humbler walks an opportunity to keep up their self-respect," but what they really mean is that it helps them to keep down their own expenses.

The Angel Child’s mother was one of these women who talk to people that aren’t quite so rich as she in the tone of one who’s commending a worthy charity; but who hangs on the words of a richer woman like a dog that hopes a piece of meat is going to be thrown at it, and yet isn’t quite sure that it won’t get a kick instead. As a side-line, she made a specialty of trying to uplift the masses, and her husband furnished the raw material for the uplifting, as he paid his men less and worked ‘em harder than any one else in Chicago.

Well, one day this woman came into my office, bringing her only son with her. He was a solemn little cuss, but I didn’t get much chance to size him up, because his ma started right in to explain how he’d been raised--no whipping, no--but I cut it short there, and asked her to get down to brass tacks, as I was very busy trying to see that 70,000,000 people were supplied with their daily pork. So she explained that she wanted me to give the Angel Child a job in my office during his summer vacation, so that he could see how the other half lived, and at the same time begin to learn self-reliance.

I was just about to refuse, when it occurred to me that if he had never really had a first-class whipping it was a pity not to put him in the way of getting one. So I took him by the hand and led him to headquarters for whippings, the bench in the shipping department, where a pretty scrappy lot of boys were employed to run errands, and told the boss to take him on.

I wasn’t out of hearing before one kid said, "I choose him," and another, whom they called the Breakfast-Food Baby, because he was so strong, answered, "Naw; I seen him first."

I dismissed the matter from my mind then, but a few days later, when I was walking through the shipping department, it occurred to me that I might as well view the remains of the Angel Child, if they hadn’t been removed to his late residence. I found him sitting in the middle of the bench, looking a little sad and lonesome, but all there. The other boys seemed to be giving him plenty of room, and the Breakfast-Food Baby, with both eyes blacked, had edged along to the end of the bench. I beckoned to the Angel Child to follow me to my private office.

"What does this mean, young man?" I asked, when he got there. "Have you been fighting?"

"Yes, sir," he answered, sort of brightening up.

"Which one?"

"Michael and Patrick the first day, sir."

"Did you lick ‘em?"

"I had rather the better of it," he answered, as precise as a slice of cold-boiled Boston.

"And the second?"

"Why, the rest of ‘em, sir."

"Including the Breakfast-Food--er, James?"

He nodded. "James is very strong, sir, but he lacks science. He drew back as if he had a year to hit me, and just as he got good and ready to strike, I pasted him one in the snoot, and followed that up with a left jab in the eye."

I hadn’t counted on boxing lessons being on the bill of fare of the simple life, and it raised my hopes still further to see from that last sentence how we had grafted a little Union Stock Yards on his Back Bay Boston. In fact, my heart quite warmed to the lad; but I looked at him pretty severely, and only said:

"Mark you, young man, we don’t allow any fighting around here; and if you can’t get along without quarrelling with the boys in the shipping department, I’ll have to bring you into these offices, where I can have an eye on your conduct."

There were two or three boys in the main office who were spoiling for a thrashing, and I reckoned that the Angel Child would attend to their cases; and he did. He was cock of the walk in a week, and at the same time one of the bulliest, daisiest, most efficient, most respectful boys that ever worked for me. He put a little polish on the other kids, and they took a little of the extra shine off him. He’s in Harvard now, but when he gets out there’s a job waiting for him, if he’ll take it.

That was a clear case of catching an angel on the fly, or of entertaining one unawares, as the boy would have put it, and it taught me not to consider my prejudices or his parents in hiring a boy, but to focus my attention on the boy himself, when he was the one who would have to run the errands. The simple life was a pose and pretense with the Angel Child’s parents, and so they were only a new brand of snob; but the kid had been caught young and had taken it all in earnest; and so he was a new breed of boy, and a better one than I’d ever hired before.

Your affectionate father,


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