Love - The feeling that makes a woman
make a man make a fool of himself.
Luck - Example. A guy once stooped to
pick up a house-shoe on the road and a car came along and
knocked him over the fence into a field of four-leaf
Modern Age - When girls wear less on
the street than their grandmothers did in bed.
Obesity - A surplus gone to waist.
Opportunity - A favorable occasion for
grasping a disappointment.
Optimist - One who thinks humorists
will some day run out of definitions of an optimist.
Orator - The fellow whos always
ready to lay down your life for his country.
Pants - Trousers country cousins.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The annual meeting of the stockholders
of the Chautauqua assembly was held this morning at the
Y.M.C.A. rooms. The president, Dr. Stewart, ruled that by
the provisions of the charter the present board of
directors should hold office for one year and therefore
there should be no election till the next annual meeting,
as the present board have only been in office about a
The question of Sunday opening was
discussed but it was found that there is a contract on
file with the organization which the present one
succeeds, that the gates shall never be opened on Sunday,
so upon the reading of that agreement the Sunday opening
question was dropped.
A financial statement from the
secretary showed a shortage of a bout $900 at the present
time. A meeting of the stockholders will be called soon
to decide how this indebtedness shall be dealt with.
Carthage Community Band To Perform.
The Carthage Community Band
will present a summer concert Saturday, July 18
at 2:00 p.m. on the Jasper County Courthouse
Lawn. Bring Lawn chairs.
Atentative schedule of
selections include: The Star Spangled Banner,
King COtton, Pretty Baby, Maple Leaf Rag, Walking
Frog, Barton's Legions, Ol Man River, Under the
Double Eagle, Marching Through Georgia, Beer
Barrel Polka, God Bless America and others.
Band Members include residents
from Southwest Kansas, Northwest Oklahoma as well
as Carthage and Southwest Missouri.
This concert is presented in
cooperation with Main Street Carthage, Inc. For
additional information please call 358-4974.
Eggs and Issues Announced.
The Mornin' Mail will
sponsor the July 31 Chamber of Commerce Eggs and
Issues event. Candidates with opposition in the
August 4 Primary will be invited to speak for two
minutes on their choice of two out of Four
topics: Why Running, Issues in General,
Qualifications, or Primary Agenda.
Now I dont know all
the story, but I have received a couple-three
calls demanding to know why I called their
phone number. The parties had the caller ID
installed that keeps track of phone calls.
A couple of the offenses
were simply wrong numbers that came from our
establishment. One was a fax that number that
was in error. I apologized for the trouble
caused by these accidental intrusions into
the privacy of these folks, but I have
wondered since exactly why it was such a big
Like I said, I dont
know if there was a reason for these folks to
be so upset over the fact that we had called,
maybe they were gettin some silly phone
calls and wanted them stopped. What strikes
me odd is the fact that now if a phone rings
and nobody is there to hear it, it still
doesnt mean you are out of the woods.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Carthage Farm & Home
The Super Handyman
by Al Carrell and Kelly
Q: I have stripped the wallpaper from my
kitchen wall, which I want to paint now. What do
I need to do to the wall surface to make it
smoother and ready for paint?
A: Most painted walls
are less likely to show joints and other
imperfections if they are textured, so we
recommend texturing. It is pretty easy to do.
You can get a nice stippled
effect by applying drywall compound with a short
napped paint roller . There are some rollers made
just for the chore.
There are many other ways to
texture a wall. A wall coverings dealer should be
able to give you other ideas, or you can check
out decorating books at a library or bookstore.
Once you've textured the wall,
you can prime and paint it.
If there are any stains on the
wall now, cover them with white shellac or a
sealing primer before texturing and painting.
Q: We had a burst pipe
in the basement this past winter, and it caused a
flood. Now we have a water mark about an inch up
on the wooden paneling down there. Before
investing in molding to put all the way around
the room, is there a way to remove theses stains?
A: If the paneling is
painted, spray on a primer coat that is made to
seal in water spots and then repaint.
If the paneling has a finish
such as varnish or lacquer, try buffing the water
stain with a mild adbrasive that isn't dry.
Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.