today's
laugh
Sunday School Teacher - "My word!
Doesn’t that little boy swear terribly?"
Backslider - "Yes’m, he sure do. He knows the
words, but he sure don’t put any expressing in
them."
Sunday School Teacher - "Willie, do you know what
becomes of boys who use bad language when they’re
playing marbles?"
Willie - "Yes, miss. They grow up and play
golf."
Preacher - "Do you say your prayers at light, little
boy?"
Jimmy - "Yes, sir."
Preacher - "And do you always say them in the
morning, too?"
Jimmy - "No, sir. I ain’t scared in the
daytime.
"It ain’t the school I don’t like:
it’s the principal of the thing."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
GENERAL DOUGLAS' BROTHER.
Carthage Man Expects o Become
Mrs. Sartoris' Brother-in-Law
B.G. Douglas, of this city, yesterday
told a Press reporter that he is a brother to General
Henry Kyd Douglas who, is rumored in eastern papers, is
soon to marry Mrs. Nellie Grant Sartoris, the daughter of
ex-President U.S. Grant. Mr. Douglas seemed loath to talk
of his brother's private affairs, and was sorry the
reporter had heard that he was related. His brother, he
said, was till recently adjuntant general of Maryland,
but was now colonel of the 1st Maryland Infantry. He met
Mrs. Sartoris a year ago at a Maryland summer resort, and
from a letter written a month ago, it was evidently
General Douglas' expectation to marry soon. Mrs.
Sartoris' daughter visited last summer with Mr. Douglas'
sister, Mrs. Beckenbaugh, at Hagerstown, Md.
Mrs. Sartoris, however, who is now at
the Fifth Avenue hotel in New York, is said to deny the
story of the engagement.
Walter H. Smith Dead.
Three Years of Ill Health Ended
This Morning- Assignment Yesterday
Walter H. Smith, the east side
druggist, died this morning at his room over the store,
after three years of ill health and helplessness with
complete nervous prostration and paralysis. He was
forty-six years of age and had been married ten years to
Miss Mary Curtain who came here from Ohio. He had been in
the drug business in Carthage since 1872.
Mr Smith's mind was clear up to the
last and he attended to business up to two o' clock
yesterday afternoon.
| |
Today's Feature Public Works Recap.
Tuesday afternoon’s public
works meeting was a quick one. Committee members
voted to recommend to the full City Council a
bill to vacate a portion of sewer easement on
Fairlawn Drive. Casey’s General Stores plans
to develop the site and wants to build where the
current manhole is located. If the sewer is
vacated and building proceeds, the manhole will
be relocated at Casey’s expense.
Bids for the demolition of the
structure at 408 E. 6th Street were opened. Three
bids were submitted by Chuck McConnell, B&D
Yard Builders and Glenn Simmons. Simmons was the
low bid at $5,200, and Committee Member Larry
Ross moved to recommend the low bid to the
Council. The motion passed unanimously. Committee
Member Trisha Burgi-Brewer was not present.
Following
this vote, Ross questioned Codes Inspector Bud
Rogers and Assistant to the City Engineer Joe
Butler about the payment process for such
demolitions. Roger and Butler explained that the
property owner
first has the
option of proceeding with the demolition as
ordered. If the property owner does not take care
of the demolition, the City seeks bids and
contracts to have the demolition performed. The
owner is then billed for the service. If the
property owner does not pay the costs of the
demolition, the City places a tax lien against
the property.
"But
with a tax lien from the City, they can still
sell their property without paying the
lien," said Butler. "We’ve run
into that before."
City
Administrator Tom Short acknowledged that this
has happened in the past and that City Clerk
Barbara Welch is seeking information and
clarification from City Attorney David Dally
about this practice.
Butler
reminded the Committee that bids for solid
waste/recycling proposals are due on Monday, July
13. He expects at least four bids and plans to
schedule presentations by selected bidders on
Thursday evening, July 16 for the staff, city
council and interested members of the public. At
this meeting, bidders will explain their bids and
offer further information on the services they
offer.
In addition,
the random survey sent to a sampling of Carthage
citizens to elicit needs and opinions concerning
trash removal and recycling are currently being
tabulated. A final report is expected this
Friday. Butler also reported that the Mall
Sidewalk project could be completed as early as
the end of next week.
Committee
members and other Council members in attendance
reported the following complaints and inquiries
from constituents: complaints about the house at
1639 S. Main; complaints about gravel bouncing
out of trucks and into yards on N. Francis;
questions about a privacy fence being constructed
at 618 Orner; concerns about safety at the curved
intersection of W. Oak and Old 66; and a request
that Baker Blvd. In the vicinity of Central and
Oak be widened and have sidewalks.
|
 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
The kids nowadays
don’t know the meanin’ of
bein’ cool. I’m talkin’ real
cool, as in temperature, not attitude. The
tricks of beatin’ the hot weather that
were old standby’s are not bein’
transferred to the younger generation
‘cause it’s easy ta just flip a
switch and get air conditionin’.
The best coolin’ off
place growin’ up was the farm pond,
mainly ‘cause it was handy after a day
in the field. In town the water hose was
always a good cooler for the younger kids.
Takin’ turns sprayin’ each other,
slidin’ on the grass, slipin’ on
the sidewalk. There seemed ta be
somethin’ daring about runnin’
through the spray of water, it just
wasn’t the same ta just stand and get
soaked.
Inside fans made a lot a
sense. And open windows in the evenin’
with June bugs bumpin’ into the screens.
Cool man.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
|
| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
|
Weekly Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK CARS
Dear Tom and Ray:
OK, I've had it. My soon-to-be-wife has a
commercial driver's license and assumes that she
knows a lot about driving. Well, she does, but
this is something I can't understand. Her car is
a 1996 Escort with automatic transmission. She
insists that when I park the car, I a) shift into
neutral, b) apply the parking brake, c) release
the foot brake, and then d) shift into park. The
rationale for this is to relieve pressure on the
automatic transmission; she was told to do this
by her colleague "Dan the Van Man." I
am happy to apply the parking brake with the foot
brake firmly applied (thus making sure that the
car is resting on the brakes, and not on the
transmission), then shift into park prior to
releasing the foot brake. But she demands that I
do it her way. Is there any rationale reason for
this?
TOM: You want car advice or
marital advice?
RAY: We'll give you both. Car
advice first. No, there's no rationale reason for
what she's doing. She's got several extra steps
in there. And what you do is not only perfectly
acceptable, it's absolutely right.
TOM: When you come to a stop,
your foot is already on the brake, right? Then
with your foot still on the brake, you put the
car in park and apply the parking brake. Then you
release the foot brake, Viola!
RAY: Doing things in that order
leaves the weight of the car resting on the
parking brake rather than the transmission and
makes it easier to get the car out of park later,
especially if you're parked on any kind of hill.
TOM: So the answer is, she's
wacko.
RAY: Now for the marital
advice. Tell her she's absolutely right. While
she's going through several unnecessary steps,
she's not harming anything by doing so. She's
still ending up with the same effect.
ARCHIVES Index
|
| |
|
Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
|