The Mornin' Mail is published daily -Thursday, March 12, 1998 Volume VI, Number 187

did ya know?

Did Ya Know... The Carthage Chamber Raisin’ of the Green Auction will be held Sunday, March 15 in Memorial Hall. Funds go toward promoting events that bring business to the retail community.

Did Ya Know... The Oats Bus runs from Carthage and Sarcoxie to Joplin each Tuesday. To schedule rides call 358-4662 or 1-800-770-6287 on Mondays.

today's laugh

Just before a draftee made his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, "Count to ten and pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for the auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up."

The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten, and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened. He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened. As he careened crazily earthward, he said to himself, "Now I’ll bet that truck won’t be there either!"

 

Coming out of a restaurant, a man met his dentist on the way in. The man asked, "What should I do about my yellow teeth?"

"Wear brown," the dentist replied.

 

What is period furniture?

"Well, I should say an electric chair because it ends a sentence."

1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

KADERLY AND SIMPSON SET FREE.

Lamar Rape Suspects Acquitted.

The trial of William Kaderly and William Simpson, the two farmers who were charged with the rape of Mrs. Resh near Lamar sometime ago, came to an abrupt end yesterday morning just after 11 o’clock when the jury returned a verdict of not guilty without leaving their seats. After all the testimony for the state was in the attorneys for the defendants, offered a demurrer. The demurrer was sustained in each instance and the court instructed the jury to find the men not guilty, which they did. The verdict gave general satisfaction.

The Lamar Republican, with characteristic enterprise, immediately issued an extra edition, from which the above details are taken.

 

Look out for the oil wagon with the bells. They can sell oil as cheap as anyone.

Today's Feature

Lieutenant Governor Wilson

"On Board" says Clark.

Council member Lujene Clark told the Council at its regular meeting last Tuesday that a meeting with Lieutenant Governor Roger Wilson "went very, very well" and that Wilson "agreed to come aboard in trying to get our green signs back."

Clark was referring to the directional signs that mysteriously disappeared from Interstate 44 and 71 Highway.

Clark said that it may also be possible to approach federal tourism grants for the "brown" signs that denote historic landmarks.

Efforts by the Carthage Chamber of Commerce and Economic Development Director Max McKnight were rewarded recently as new signs were placed on 71 denoting street exits to Carthage.

Clark and Council member Mike Harris met with Wilson at the recent Missouri Municipal League Legislative Conference in Jefferson City.



 
   
   
Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',

One a the latest topics to be revisited is the idea of lettin’ folks operate a business outa their home. Havin’ been one a those who originally worked from the kitchen table myself, I know the advantage of not openin’ a storefront. The problem that usually comes up when this discussion is initiated is where do ya draw the line?

A phone call to a Council member requestin’ information on openin’ a taxidermy outfit in the family garage rekindled the age old question of business vs. residential zonin’.

If cuttin’ up dead animals is a possibility, why not pig farmin’? (By the way, havin’ farm animals is still legal in Carthage, as long as neighbors don’t raise a stink).

It’s the classic debate over individual vs. state rights. Always a worthy topic.

This is some fact, but mostly, Just Jake Talkin.’

Sponsored

by

Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column

Click and Clack Talk Cars

Dear Tom and Ray:

My husband is buying a new Ford pickup. He wants to buy a diesel engine because he says "It's more fuel-efficient, will last longer, and is less polluting than gas." I don't know about the first two, but I find the last argument hard to believe, especially since diesel fuel stinks so baldly. Can you clear the air for me? - Alice

Ray: I don't believe for a second that he's interested in reducing global pollution either, Alice. We both know he just wants a big, honking truck. But we'll address the pollution issue anyway.

Tom: It's somewhat complicated. Diesel fuel is just one step more refined than primordialooze. In fact, you can usually see mud, sticks and leaves in it as you pour it into your car. But since diesels operate at a much higher temperature than gas engines, some types of pollutants are reduced. For instance, diesels produce half as much carbon monoxide as gasoline engines.

Ray: On the other hand, diesels produce twice as much hydrocarbon emissions, four times as many nitrous oxides and five times as much particulate matter (a k a soot).

Tom: In their favor, however, diesels do seem to deteriorate less (in terms of how much they pollute) over time. So while gasoline engines pollute significantly more as they get older, diesel engines start out bad, but in their defense, don't get much worse.

Ray : That's what my mother says when she's asked to praise my brother.

To be continued next week.


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