today's
laugh
"Farmer Brown, I can’t come
out to see you any more."
"Why, what’s the matter,
doctor?"
"Why, every single time I come
out, your ducks insult me."
"Do you think I shall live until
I’m ninety, doctor?"
"How old are you now?"
"Forty."
"Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or
have any vices of any kind?"
"No. I don’t drink, I never
gamble, I loathe smoking; in fact, I haven’t any
vices."
"Well, wottinell do you want to
live another fifty years for?"
Doctor - "It’s a good thing
you came to see me when you did.
Patient - "Why, Doc, are you
broke?"
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
SHELTON FAMILY POISONED.
Mistook Pokeberry Root for
Horseradish - Now Out of Danger.
Three persons were seriously poisoned
in Carthage yesterday by eating pokeroot which they
thought to be horseradish. They were George Shelton, of
the livery firm of Shelton & Myer, his
brother-in-law, Chas. Myer, and his mother-in-law, Mrs.
Tolbert.
Last Saturday Grace Shelton, aged about
14 years, dug some roots from the garden which she
thought to be horseradish but which were in reality
pokeberry root. Theses Mrs. Shelton grated and prepared
as horseradish and Sunday Miss Grace ate some of the
preparation at supper. She became quite ill but it was
supposed that it was only a bilious attack and nothing
more was thought of it.
Yesterday at dinner, however, Messrs.,
Shelton and Myer and Mrs. Tolbert all ate of the mixture
and about 1:30 were all taken seriously ill. They
suffered a great deal and Dr. Freed was called. He soon
found out what was the trouble and administered the
proper antidotes, but they were all of them very ill
during the greater part of last night. This morning they
were much better and able to be up but the escape was a
very narrow one.
The poison is of the kind known as
corrosive poisons and the members of the family are
thankful they all escaped with their lives.
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Today's Feature Wilson Asks for Clarification.
Property developer Bill Wilson
spoke to the Public Works Committee Tuesday
afternoon during the Citizen Participation
portion of their meeting.
Wilson is the owner of
Breckenwood Residential Development and has
worked with the City and CW&EP since 1991 to
develop the Breckenwood subdivision under a
"Green Space" policy.
Under this policy, Wilson was
allowed to waive the City’s curb and
guttering requirements for annexation if the lot
sizes in the development were maintained at
29,000 square feet or larger. In addition,
CW&EP had specific "Green Space"
policies in effect for water and wastewater main
extensions in order to encourage development and
annexation.
Wilson says it was because of
these "Green Space" policies that he,
the City and CW&EP were able to work out a
contract in which Wilson allowed the City to
annex 17 lots in 1991 with a minimum of 80
additional lots to be annexed in the future. The
City agreed to build a lift station based on the
agreement of further annexation in the area and
installation of water and sewer lines began.
In November of 1997 Wilson
received notification from CW&EP that the
water and wastewater main extension policies
applied to "Green Space" developments
were terminated in April of 1995. Wilson contends
he still has lots to be annexed in order to
comply with the 1991 agreement that a minimum of
80 future lots be annexed.
"In fairness to all City
developers, the "Green Space" policies
were terminated in April of 1995 and the same
policies applicable to all other expansions
within the City will apply to development of land
platted and annexed after that date," stated
the letter from Marge Housh, CW&EP Business
Manager.
According to Wilson, lots
annexed in 1994 and 1996 were annexed under the
terms of the original 1991 agreement with cost of
living adjustments, even though, according to the
letter CW&EP’s "Green Space"
program terminated prior to the 1996 annexation.
"They terminated the
program in 1995, but were still using the same
contract in 1996," Committee Chair Bill
Fortune clarified.
"What policy can I expect
when I apply for annexation of the remaining
lots?" Wilson asked Tuesday afternoon at the
Public Works Committee.
"I’m asking that the
Green Space Program continue so that I can
continue development out here in the same manner
that the 50-some lots have already been
developed," said Wilson.
Wilson continued that it is his
belief that the original contract applied to
future annexations necessary in order to fulfill
the agreement of a minimum of 80 additional
annexations and that CW&EP has set a
precedent of following the original contract in
the 1994 and 1996 annexations.
"You are written into the
ordinance of the City for the green space, we can
check, but I think it’s for the full platted
development," said Committee Member Jackie
Boyer. "So as long as you’re within the
confines of that original plat, I don’t
think you have a problem as far as green space
and the curb and guttering and paving. Now
monetary participation by CW&EP will have to
be handled by their board."
Wilson is on the agenda at this
afternoon’s CW&EP board meeting.
McGuire Running for Re-Election
News release by
Kathleen McGuire
Kathleen Leary McGuire says in
her next term as Circuit Clerk she wants to
continue with the smooth transition of a new
automated record keeping system in Jasper County
Circuit Court.
McGuire filed for reelection as
Circuit Clerk of the County Tuesday. She has been
Circuit Clerk for seven years.
"We have been selected as
the first county in Missouri to go on the
Electronic Court 2004 automated record keeping
system," she said.
"I've made many trips to
Jefferson City to make sure we were selected. It
will take the state six years to get all the
counties on-line, and I didn't want to see our
county wait any longer than we had to.
"The computerized system
will be a more efficient use of our tax dollars.
It will mean more accurate record keeping and
faster communication. It will mean better access
to the court records.
"The system is being put
in place now, and I would like to continue with
that smooth transition and see the it's a success
in Jasper County."
McGuire is seeking reelection
to a third term as Circuit Clerk in the November
general election. She was elected to four-year
terms in 1990 and 1994.
McGuire is a resident of Joplin
and has three children, Robert, Jason and Angela.
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| letter
from ma I don't
have much patience with people who think
their way is the only way. Why can't they
be broad-minded?
Take my brother-in-law.
He informed me I installed the toilet
paper backwards. I told him the right way
for me was any way I happened to get it
on the roller. Pa and I are smart enough
to figure out how to get the paper, no
matter if it comes over the top or
underneath the roll.
Another thing is doing
dishes. Most women will swear theirs is
the right way. Some will say you have to
rinse them before washing, others will
insist scraping is all that is needed.
Rinsing is a big deal,
too. It's a toss-up between dousing the
dishes in hot water or scalding them
under running water.
Electric dishwashers
haven't solved the disagreement. Again,
do you rinse or do you scrape before
putting them in the machine?
I say do the way you
want. I can take things any way.
Well, almost. I want my
coffee poured steaming into my cup from a
percolator. Perked coffee is the only
coffee fit to drink. Not that I'm not
broad-minded, you understand.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I suppose its a good sign
that the farmer’s market is causin’
some congestion on the Square. The
alternative of havin’ no congestion
whatsoever would be a worse problem.
‘Course as is the case with any activity
that encourages traffic, there is the
lingerin’ problem of how to handle the
bottlenecks that inevitably occur.
Unfortunately, more cars on the Square does
not automatically result in a direct benefit
to merchants. It does, however, present an
opportunity for merchants to take advantage
of the situation.
Figurin’ out a way to
deal with the influx of shoppers durin’
the Farmers Market is just one more of the
community’s adjustments. It’s a
good problem, as problems go, but needs
attention just the same.
This is some fact, but
mostly, Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column Click & Clack Talk Cars
Diesel Dilema
Continued from last week
Tom: But despite that, I still
come down firmly against diesels. As the owner of
a convertible (a '63 Dodge Dart), to me there's
nothing worse than driving behind one of those
stinky, disgusting, particulate-belching as cans.
Actually, there is something worse; getting stuck
in traffic behind one!
Ray: And I share my brother's
bias. Not because I drive convertibles, but
because I do occasionally drive with my window
rolled down.
Tom: And as I said , cutting
down on pollution has nothing to do with why your
husband wants a diesel, Alice He has MDE; Male
Diesel Envy. Diesel engines appeal to guys'
"survivalist" instincts. Diesels work
by compression only, so they don't need
electricity or park plugs. Therefore, they -
theoretically - will still run in the aftermath
of a nuclear attack.
Ray: And that's probably what
appeals to your husband. After Armageddon, he
thinks he's going to be riding around in this
Ford pickup, helping himself to the latest movies
on video (which used to be all gone by the time
he got to the video store, when there were still
other people on the planet).
Tom: A lot of diesel engines do
last a long time. They are durable, and they do
get pretty good mileage. But they're also noisy,
slow, stinky and hard to start in very cold
weather. And in my opinion, that far outweighs
their advantages. But I can tell you've got no
chance of talking him out of it, Alice, so buy
yourself a good set of nose plugs and matching
ear plugs - and good luck.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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