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The Mornin' Mail is published daily -Monday, March 2, 1998 Volume VI, Number 179

Did Ya Know?. . .Lincoln Ladies’ Federated Republican Women’s Club will hold their next monthly meeting on Monday, March 9, 1998 at Shoney’s Restaurant in Carthage. Dinner will be at 5 p.m. with the meeting beginning at 5:50 p.m. Guests are welcome.

Did Ya Know?. . .Tax consulting for the elderly is available every Tuesday from 9-12 noon at the Carthage Over 60 Center. There is no charge for the service and people of all ages are eligible.

today's laugh

One outfit became very upset with another store on the same block that advertised a "going out of business" sale. The resentful outfit put up a huge sign that said, WE’VE BEEN GOING OUT OF BUSINESS LONGER THAN ANYBODY ON THIS BLOCK.

She decided they’d have a romantic dinner. She lit the candles. The candles lit the drapes. The drapes lit the wall. The wall lit the propane tank. The propane tank exploded. It turned out to be romantic anyway, because it was the first time in years they went out together.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday, but not enough.

1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Bitten by a Vicious Dog.

Detective Ed Pike was bitten by a vicious dog this morning while crossing Third street near the northwest corner of the square. The animal belongs to a man named Culbert who lives on Tiger Hill, and bit Mr. Pike without any provocation. One of the dogs long, sharp teeth was buried its full length in his thigh. Mr. Pike pulled a revolver to shoot the vicious beast, but there were so many passersby it would have been dangerous, and he did not fire. It is thought the dog may possibly be mad and it will be tied up and closely watched by its owner.

Grand Opera House.

The Grand opera house will be occupied all next week by the Howard DeVoss company in a new repertoire of the latest comedies and drams. The company again promises a week of good, clean fun and amusement. The price will be the same as before—10 cents for any seat in the house.

Today's Feature

Auction to Benefit Retail Promotions.

The Raisin' of the Green Auction, sponsored by the Retail Committee of the Chamber of Commerce, will again feature a drawing for a half of beef furnished by Clouds Meat Processing this year. All auction donations contribute to benefit Retail Promotions and Special Events in Carthage. The Auction will be held on March 15 at 1:30 p.m. in Memorial Hall.

The Auction features products and services donated by a long list of Carthage area businesses. The Chamber has used the event to help generate Retail Marketing funds for the last several years.

"Not only are businesses recognized for their generous contributions," said Retail Committee Chair Sherry Allen, "they are helping to promote successful events such as the Market Fair, the City-Wide Garage Sale, the Sunrise Sidewalk Sale in July, and the Christmas Open House."

Project Graduation and the Lions Club provide concessions during the auction as fund-raisers for each of their organizations.

For more information, or to contribute to this event, Call Sherry at 358-7101 or the Chamber at 358-2373.

Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',

If someone wanted to become famous for inventing a device that would define technological advance, they would come up with an anti-bass filter.

No this isn’t a fishin’ story. I’m talkin’ ‘bout bass as in the clef. Those low thumpin’ tones that roll out of a vehicle when the windows are up. Leavin’ most wonderin’ how anyone inside the car could possibly not have a throbbin’ headache.

The device I envision would either block the bass notes from enterin’ my house after 11 p.m. or at least bring with them some portion of the melody so I could recognize it as music.

There surely must be some electroantibass molecules out in the universe somewhere. Sound waves have long been studied and examined as they flow through the atmosphere. There has to be somethin’ that could disrupt and disperse them into harmless drops of sonic waste. Thump—thump, thump. Thump—thump, thump.

This is some fact, but mostly, Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored

Carthage Farm & Home Supply, Inc.

Weekly Column

The Super Handyman

Dear Al & Kelly: One thing I noticed while caulking one afternoon was that even though the caulking gun seemed to have reached the end of the tube. By adding a small wooden block to the end of the plunger of my caulking gun, I was able to get out the last of the caulk. I Start off normally but once about half of the caulk is gone, I pull the plunger back and insert a wooden block that is about a half-inch thick with a diameter narrower than the caulk tube. The block slips into the bottom of the caulking tube, and then I push the plunger back in.-M.W.

A SUPER HINT- When working on a table saw, you really want your work to glide over the table and along the rip fence. A light sprinkling of cornstarch or talcum power right on the table can help.

Dear Carrells: I took my old fabric tape measure, which I used to use for sewing , and glued it to the front of my workbench. It is as long the workbench, and I use it all the time to measure projects. I put a few coats of left over lacquer on top of it, to make sure it wouldn’t peel up and to keep the numbers from rubbing off. It sure is handy- K.M.

A SUPER HINT-To keep from slipping off your ladder steps, wrap a scrap of screen wire or hardware cloth around each one. Staple it in place, and it will give you a little extra traction, even with muddy feet.

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