The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, September 17, 1998 Volume VII, Number 65

did ya know?
Did Ya Know?
. . .The Carthage Veterans Alliance will meet Thursday night September 24, at 7 p.m. at the V.F.W. in order to work on the Veterans Day program. All veteran organizations invited to attend.

today's laugh

"Oh, doctor," cried a wild-eyed man, "I'm dreadfully afflicted. The ghosts of my departed relatives come and perch on the tops of my fence posts all around my garden when dusk is falling. I can look out any evening and see a couple of dozen spooks on the fence, waiting, waiting, waiting. What shall I do?"

"Sharpen the tops of the posts," advised the doctor.


A manwalked into a hat shop.

"I've just lost a bet," he said, "and I want a soft hat."

The salesman, selecting a hat from the shelf behind him, handed it to the prospective customer with the remark:-

"This is the softest hat we've got."

The customer gazed at it speculatively. "What I want," he said, reluctantly, "is something a little more tender. I've got to eat it."


Manager (pointing to cigarette-end on floor)-"Smith, is this yours?"

Smith(pleasantly)-"Not at all, sir. You saw it first."

A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Head Janitor Milhollan Did Not Like Him and He Had To Go.

The triple alliance county court finally took a hand in the court house janitorial feud today and the result is that first assistant, J.B. Hoffman, has been decapitated. The court made the order today, and after tonight he will no longer be a member of the force. This is in accordance with Head Janitor J.C. Milhollan's instructions to the court given in the form of a request immediately after he fell out with Hoffman.

As is well know to persons familiar with affairs in the court house, Hoffman has always been a worker of the janitorial force. Milhollan has chiefly occupied himself with bossing unless there was a chance to do some painting or hold the hose out on the lawn. He has claimed all along that it was not his place to work but to boss those under him. It is generally understood that he has a grip on the triple alliance court because of his service for the combinationn as a political detective - a sort of "Old Slenth" - and that he is sure of his job no matter what he does.

Mr. Hoffman said: "The only reason I know as to why I was fired was because I would not submit to Milhollan's overbearing treatment, and becuase I would not let him rob myself and the other janitors of our pay for janitor service in the city council room. I was discharged without given a hearing."

  Today's Feature

Park Board Discusses Soccer, Golf, Playground .

The Carthage Parks and Recreation Board attended to a wide range of items during its regular meeting last week. Board members Loren Barnett, Jerry Poston, Richard Campbell, Pat Woestman, Randy Allen and Tom Flanigan were present.

Flanigan reported that the Parks and Program Committee had a meeting to discuss naming a part of Municipal Park in honor of John Hall. Mr. Hall was responsible for the KOM League Reunion that was held this year and several people were reported to have approached Mayor Johnson regarding this. The Committee recommended that a plaque be placed in the triangular area outside of Rock Stadium. After lengthy discussion it was decided that the plaque would be placed in Rock Stadium. The plaque could be later moved if a museum was built for the league.

Mrs. Woestman reported that the Policy, Personnel and Public Relations Committee had not met, but a member of the Library Board had contacted her concerning a problem in receiving their funding from the City. The Library Board was reported to have indicated that they would like the Park Board to join them in a meeting in the near future to make sure there were no problems in the future regarding funding.

Mr. Campbell stated that he had been informed that a Joplin soccer organization was scheduled to hold a tournament at the Carthage Sports Complex. He felt it was not appropriate since the Park Board had not authorized the tournament or rental fees. It was decided that scheduling for the fields should be through the Park Board Office in the future.

Parks Administrator Alan Bull confirmed that the Boylan Foundation had granted $30,000 for playground equipment at Carter Park and $5,000 for beautification of Grigg's Park. The grants will be received in late September.

Member Campbell reported that the Golf Management Committee had a meeting with a group of concerned golfers. The group was concerned regarding the maintenance of the course and future development of the course. Campbell said that he had suggested that the golfers speak with City Council members asking for increased support in the future.

The Board also was told that Bull had received a grant application form from the DNR. The grant is available for golf courses and grants 65% of a project such as a new irrigation system.

Carthage Chamber of Commerce Sponsors Ethics Seminar.

The Carthage Chamber of Commerce's Business/Education Committee is sponsoring the fifth annual "Ethical Decision Making in the Workplace and Society" seminar in conjunction with the Carthage R-9 School District. This seminar will be held for the Carthage high school seniors on February 3, 1999, at the Precious Moment's North Convention Center.

This program has received very enthusiastic comments from the students, their parents, table leaders and other participants. The program was developed by Linda McKay, PREP Coordinator for the Network for Educational Development, and David Lankford, Vice President of Education for the Missouri Chamber of Commerce, in 1987 with a seminar held in St. Louis, Missouri. It marked the beginning of a unique partnership dedicated to bringing an awareness of ethical decision making to the youth of our country.

The Ethics seminar is designed to increase a young adult's understanding of values and ethics and applying them to career fields and jobs. The program provides an excellent opportunity for parents, schools, and community organizations to join in partnership for the betterment of their community. Without the support of individuals, organizations, and businesses in this community this program could not be held.


Jasper County Youth Fair Board To Fill Positions.

new releease

Election for open positions on the Jasper County Youth Fair Board will be held at 7 p.m., on Sept. 30, 1998, at the Carthage Educational Building, 609 River St.

All positions on the board are elected by persons of the community. Board members consist of community and business leaders, advisors, staff and parents of the 4-H, FFA and other youth serving agencies of Jasper County. Membership is open to any person who has an interest in the annual Jasper County Youth Fair and is willing to uphold the principles and ethical morals of the board. Board members should be "well-rounded"- one that represents all areas of the fair.

The board is responsible for planning and organizing activities for the annual fair which is held during the month of July in Carthage. The fair is open to all youth organizations of Jasper County. The purpose of the board is to promote and encourage agriculture, horticulture, and the rearing of better livestock, while improving domestic sciences and arts. The fair promotes general community betterment among all persons. The fair is a major community event as it is supported by businesses, organizations and others who provide recognitions for work and accomplishments of youth of our area.

All persons [adults] of the community who are present at the September 17 meeting are eligible to vote for board members. Representatives of youth organizations are invited to attend the fall meeting so plans for their 1999 fair participants can be presented.

Persons who will be recommended for a position on the board are: Elaine Anderson, Mick Cooley, Dwight Madsen, Dean Woody, Barbara Birdsall, Scott Graham, Janice Sommer, Tom Ziler, Sherry Block, Karen McClellan, Jim Powell.

Four persons will be elected. Remaining board of directors will include: John Dillard, Gloria Lawrence, Debbie Youngblood, Teri Schramm, Martin Wagner, Kevin Allen, Wayne Hood, Charles Stark, Bob McNary, Don Carver, Eldon Myers, Bryan Gast, Randy Commons, Ray Tubaugh, Mark Dethridge.

Additional names may be recommended if a petition of 20 signatures are submitted to the board.


Economic Security Corporation Gives Cooling Assistance.

Effective immediately, Economic Securtiy Corporation will have available cooling assistance for Barton, Jasper, Newton, and McDonald Counties. Due to extreme weather conditions, additional funds have been made available to the community action agency. These funds will be available to help households who are unable to pay electric bills due to the extreme weather conditions. Households must be income eligible.

People needing help or information should call one of the ESC Outreach centers. Funding for the Energy Crisis Intervention Program comes through the Missouri Department of Social Services. The total amount of assistance available for the four counties is $10,800.


National ComfortCap Day.


news release

The VantAge Point joins Joplin Sewing Center with Viking Husqvarna and JoAnn's Fabrics & Crafts to sponsor National ComfortCap Day on Saturday, September 19 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sewing sessions will take place at the VantAge Point at Northpark Mall and at JoAnn's, 20th Street and Rangeline in the Bel-Air Shopping Center, Joplin.

Anyone is welcome to participate in this special day of creating easy-to-sew, soft hats. Whether a novice or experienced sewer, you can stitch up a hat in less than half an hour.

Carol Parker from KSN-TV will participate in the event as the celebrity sewer. She will be at the VantAge Point at 11 a.m.

ComfortCaps are soft, stylish, cloche caps to be worn by cancer patients undergoing temporary loss of hair due to chemotherapy and radiation. All hats will be distributed to area cancer centers and patients. The hats provide protection for sensitive scalps as well as serving as a symbol of hope.

For more details persons may contact Brenda Butcher at the VantAge Point at (417) 627-0600.


Just Jake Talkin'

Looks like the lawn mowers will be back in action for a few more weeks. The long dry spell was keepin' growth down to a minimum, but ever'one was wonderin' if the yellow patches would survive. Yesterday it looked like the soaker over the last few days has sparked new life into the local vegetation.

I think my tomato plants are way past any rescue, but most ever'thing else seems to have perked up some. It always amazes me how plants seem to react better to rain than processed water. I've wondered 'bout puttin' rain barrels under the downspouts and then runnin' a test usin' on two locations between rain water and tap water. Puttin' the exact same amount on both growths and seein' if there is any difference. 'Course I've frequently considered jumpin' out of a plane with a parachute, but that one hasn't got off the ground either.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin'.



Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column

Click and Clack Talk Cars

Dear Tom and Ray:

Could someone tell me why a "space saver spare" cannot be fixed? I went to five gas stations and a tire store and got the same answer: "Because it's a temporary tire." So what? It's still made out of rubber like the other tires isn't it? Why won't anybody fix this?-Jan

TOM: For the same reason you don't bother patching a hole in a Dixie Cup, Jan. It's engineered for limited use (i.e. it's cheap junk), and the rubber isn't thick enough to hold a plug reliably.

RAY: These so-called space-saver spares are designed for emergency use only. They're just good enough to get you off the highway, or off the abandoned side road, and to a gas station where you can get your regular tire fixed or buy a new one. In fact, most of them warn you not to exceed 50 mph and 50 miles of driving.

TOM: Why do they use such a flimsy tire? Well, if the rubber had the same thickness and durability as a regular tire, it wouldn't, what? Save any space!

RAY: It's a compromise, Jan. Because tires are so much better than they used to be, people get fewer flats. And because most people drive in the general vicinity of civilization, 50 miles of driving is usually enough to get you help.

TOM: So on the odd chance that you have to use your mini spare and you wear it out, you buy a new one. And for the average person, who gets a flat every five to eight years nowadays, this system works just fine.

RAY: If it bothers you, you can always go out and buy yourself a full size spare. It'll cost more, it'll add weight to your car (chich cuts down on your gas mileage), and it'll take up more space. But it's certainly a viable option.



Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.