today's
laugh
The jockeys and horses had lined up for
the start of the steeplechase, but a delay occurred
because a tall, raw-boned beast obstinately refused to
yield to the importunities of the starter. The patience
of that worthy was nearly exhausted.
"Bring up that horse!" he
shouted; "bring him up! You'll get into trouble
pretty soon if you don't"
The rider of the stupid animal, a
youthful Irishman, yelled back: "I can't help it!
This 'ere's been a cab 'orse, and 'e won't start till the
door shuts, an' I ain't got no door!"
A man went into a restaurant and had a
"sizzling platter" of sole. On the way to the
cashier's desk he happened to notice how the item was
entered on his check: "one sizzling soul."
Someday we hope to see a waiter with
enough of what it takes to lay the check face-up on the
table.
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
He is Well Marked.
Ed Daur, of Joplin, was incarcerated in
the county jail yesterday, for petit larceny. He is
charged with attempting to carry off an armful of the
stock of a butcher shop while drunk.
There would be no difficulty in
identifying Daur, should such a necessity arise, as his
arms are fantastically decorated with tatooed women and
daggers, and resemble those of a South Sea islander.
At 4:30 o'clock, last evening, Probate
Judge D.D. Kerr united in marriage Noal Enloe and Jennie
Clyma, both of Galena, Kan. The wedding was performed in
his office in the presence of a number of attorneys and
the "court house crowd."
Special sale of burnt peanuts-a
delicious confection-at Briles & Hatten's.
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Today's Feature Park System Changes.
The Public Services Committee
will assume its new responsibility of the City
Parks System during a special committee meeting
tonight at 7 p.m. in City Hall.
The Council voted to bring the
parks system directly under their control at the
last Council meeting in December. Members of the
former Park Board are invited to attend,
according to Mayor Kenneth Johnson, to make
suggestions and help get the Committee up to
speed.
The Committee will also now
supervise the operation of the Civil War Museum,
although it is expected that the current advisory
board will remain active.
The agenda includes a
discussion of the fee structure for Memorial Hall
rentals.
In addition to a monthly report
by Parks Administrator Alan Bull, the Committee
is scheduled to discuss the Fair Acres
Development Plan, consider a Council Bill for the
sale of surplus Parks Department equipment, and
consider a Council Bill for the purchase of a
pick-up truck.
Bull has prepared a packet of
orientation material for the Committee.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
It appears that the
transfer of power will occur without
incident.
Although most citizens will
not notice much difference in the City Parks
and Recreation system, there will be some
adjustments in the organization internally.
With only four members on
the Public Services Committee, the role of
the Parks Director will become even more
critical.
The recent structure of the
Park Board was that of several committees,
each with a specific area of responsibility
including golf course, programs, budget, and
the Fair Acres sports complex. Each of these,
and there are more, require a fair amount of
policy decisions and consideration.
This new setup forces the
Committee to limit its role to basic policy
and rely more on professional management.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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Workman's Loan
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Weekly Column
The Super Handyman
Dear Al:
Somebody ought to write a book
about the many uses for old milk cartons and
bleach bottles. For instance, you can make a
really nice tool holder for the garden. You cut
off the bottom of the jug, turn the top upside
down and attach it to a fence post, porch frame
or tree. You can stick your tool handle, shovel,
rake or hoe down into the jug top, and it stays
put when you leave.
Dear Al & Kelly:
One of our neighbors almost
lost his child to an accidental poisoning. Since
then, we don't take any chances. All our
poisonous chemicals and cleaners have a bright
pink lid or top. We keep a can of hot-pink spray
paint right outside the kitchen door in the
garage and give each lid a shot of paint before
storing it. Our kids know not to touch anything
that has a bright pink lid. Better to be safe
than sorry.
Dear Al & Kelly:
Clamps are too big to use on
small wooden craft projects when you are trying
to glue them. I have a super way to secure them
without crushing them. I use clothespins. The
plain, inexpensive wooden ones work great. Since
I use them for other odd jobs around the house,
I've always got a few handy.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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